Recovery vs halfway houses?
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Wilmington, DE
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Recovery vs halfway houses?
Hello all,
A newcomer couple at my Nar-Anon meeting last night shared that their son has been in rehab for about 2 weeks and are discussing structured living arrangements after his completion of the rehab program.
Apparently the counselor at the rehab is recommending one of two facilities for their son; one is described as a "recovery house" and the other as a "halfway house".
Does anyone know if there is any real difference between recovery vs halfway? Is "recovery" just a marketing ploy or perhaps just a kinder, gentler term for a halfway? Or, is there a genuine difference between the two. Or, perhaps the answer is "sometimes there is a big difference, it depends on the particular facility".
This couple is getting their information second hand through their son and are not really getting much in the way of details. Obviously, they will talk to the counselor first hand, but are trying to gain some insight before that discussion - it is always better to at least know what questions to ask!
Thanks for sharing any information you may have.
Keep coming back,
Jim
A newcomer couple at my Nar-Anon meeting last night shared that their son has been in rehab for about 2 weeks and are discussing structured living arrangements after his completion of the rehab program.
Apparently the counselor at the rehab is recommending one of two facilities for their son; one is described as a "recovery house" and the other as a "halfway house".
Does anyone know if there is any real difference between recovery vs halfway? Is "recovery" just a marketing ploy or perhaps just a kinder, gentler term for a halfway? Or, is there a genuine difference between the two. Or, perhaps the answer is "sometimes there is a big difference, it depends on the particular facility".
This couple is getting their information second hand through their son and are not really getting much in the way of details. Obviously, they will talk to the counselor first hand, but are trying to gain some insight before that discussion - it is always better to at least know what questions to ask!
Thanks for sharing any information you may have.
Keep coming back,
Jim
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Jim, around here (Ontario, Canada) a halfway house can refer to a number of circumstances, for instance a place with support for a person recently released from prison or a place of support for anyone about to transition back into the community.
A recovery house is also called a sober living house and is strictly for addicts and alcoholics who are attempting to stay clean and sober while they transition back to work and to living a life outside institutions. Some involve rules that require attendance at meetings (12 step or otherwise) and some personal counseling is provided as well. Some tolerate relapse (with conditions) and others see relapse as a deal breaker (and a risk to other residents) and will make you leave first time.
I suspect that the names and meaning vary from one area to another.
If I were trying to get insight into a place my son wanted to live, I would check to see who runs it, if there are costs and if so what they are, and what the rules are. This would be if I was paying for it or if my son was too young to choose for himself.
A recovery house is also called a sober living house and is strictly for addicts and alcoholics who are attempting to stay clean and sober while they transition back to work and to living a life outside institutions. Some involve rules that require attendance at meetings (12 step or otherwise) and some personal counseling is provided as well. Some tolerate relapse (with conditions) and others see relapse as a deal breaker (and a risk to other residents) and will make you leave first time.
I suspect that the names and meaning vary from one area to another.
If I were trying to get insight into a place my son wanted to live, I would check to see who runs it, if there are costs and if so what they are, and what the rules are. This would be if I was paying for it or if my son was too young to choose for himself.
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Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Wilmington, DE
Posts: 393
Ann,
Those are very good points for them to clarify.
I have been influenced strictly by my experience with my daughter where "halfway" and "sober living" house are completely interchangeable. "Recovery" house is an unfamiliar term for me.
12 step program participation required, relapse = instant deal breaker, must be employed or volunteering, curfews enforced, random and / or on-demand drug / alcohol testing, house keeping duties assigned, sometimes church attendance required, house meetings with mandatory attendance (these deal with house issues -- not a 12 step meeting), etc.
This may be simply because of recommendations made by her various rehabs and / or her personal choices --- when she is sober, she realizes and accepts that she tends to do better in a more structured environment.
Thanks!
Jim
Those are very good points for them to clarify.
I have been influenced strictly by my experience with my daughter where "halfway" and "sober living" house are completely interchangeable. "Recovery" house is an unfamiliar term for me.
12 step program participation required, relapse = instant deal breaker, must be employed or volunteering, curfews enforced, random and / or on-demand drug / alcohol testing, house keeping duties assigned, sometimes church attendance required, house meetings with mandatory attendance (these deal with house issues -- not a 12 step meeting), etc.
This may be simply because of recommendations made by her various rehabs and / or her personal choices --- when she is sober, she realizes and accepts that she tends to do better in a more structured environment.
Thanks!
Jim
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
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Ann's comments and info about Ontario jives with mine here in Atlanta, as well as in Chattanooga, TN.
I'd echo what she said and add from my own as well as my mother's experiences:
I went to one rehab facility (involuntarily). They had different levels of care- complete inpatient and intensive outpatient (living on the premises) and multiple kinds of "outpatient" after those that didn't involve living onsite. All were 12 step based with required meetings of different types; family sessions also. Those options had pretty much interchangeable terminology so I would not get hung up on that. After inpatient, I went straight back to living with my parents and kept on drinking. This would be what these parents want to avoid - their daughter is the only one who can decide this (I assume she is 18 or over so it is her choice what happens next?).
I would look at the concrete, specific requirements of the place (s).
I also went (basically involuntarily, as my parents said go there or find somewhere else to live) to state-run living facility in TN. I am not sure what the term they used is, but it had 40 beds, "rent" was $100 a week, you had required AA meetings (a sheet to sign), daily chores and groups (they were terrible, but that's a different story- this was not a licensed medical facility and my understanding is that certain "facilities" don't have to be- may vary by state), and you had to get a job within 30 days. There were also curfews, assigned meal times, and random drug and alcohol testing. For many reasons, this place was woefully inadequate in anything besides rule-giving. It did not involve any counseling, any family involvement- really not much more than daily checklists and a bed.
My mom, on the other hand, went to a "halfway house" associated with a very good treatment place here in Atlanta. She lived there, with maybe 10 or so other women, for six months. I am not sure about the job requirement- she didn't need one, financially- but the focus was on recovery, sober living skills, etc. Much more effective than the "harsh wash" I got so to speak- which made me want to escape ASAP which I did (Twice) by getting a job and then getting kicked out when I failed the breakthalyzer. I am, like most alcoholics, very resourceful so I found a temporary place to live, then an apt, another job and I kept on drinking.
Bottom line: the daughter has to want to stop. The parents should do their own research. They should also decide what (if anything) they want to invest financially in the next steps.
There's a lot to these kinds of decisions and available places will vary based on their location, finances, etc.
I wish them well.
I'd echo what she said and add from my own as well as my mother's experiences:
I went to one rehab facility (involuntarily). They had different levels of care- complete inpatient and intensive outpatient (living on the premises) and multiple kinds of "outpatient" after those that didn't involve living onsite. All were 12 step based with required meetings of different types; family sessions also. Those options had pretty much interchangeable terminology so I would not get hung up on that. After inpatient, I went straight back to living with my parents and kept on drinking. This would be what these parents want to avoid - their daughter is the only one who can decide this (I assume she is 18 or over so it is her choice what happens next?).
I would look at the concrete, specific requirements of the place (s).
I also went (basically involuntarily, as my parents said go there or find somewhere else to live) to state-run living facility in TN. I am not sure what the term they used is, but it had 40 beds, "rent" was $100 a week, you had required AA meetings (a sheet to sign), daily chores and groups (they were terrible, but that's a different story- this was not a licensed medical facility and my understanding is that certain "facilities" don't have to be- may vary by state), and you had to get a job within 30 days. There were also curfews, assigned meal times, and random drug and alcohol testing. For many reasons, this place was woefully inadequate in anything besides rule-giving. It did not involve any counseling, any family involvement- really not much more than daily checklists and a bed.
My mom, on the other hand, went to a "halfway house" associated with a very good treatment place here in Atlanta. She lived there, with maybe 10 or so other women, for six months. I am not sure about the job requirement- she didn't need one, financially- but the focus was on recovery, sober living skills, etc. Much more effective than the "harsh wash" I got so to speak- which made me want to escape ASAP which I did (Twice) by getting a job and then getting kicked out when I failed the breakthalyzer. I am, like most alcoholics, very resourceful so I found a temporary place to live, then an apt, another job and I kept on drinking.
Bottom line: the daughter has to want to stop. The parents should do their own research. They should also decide what (if anything) they want to invest financially in the next steps.
There's a lot to these kinds of decisions and available places will vary based on their location, finances, etc.
I wish them well.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Wilmington, DE
Posts: 393
August,
Thanks for your first hand perspective and observations of your Mom.
The way this is going I may just copy this entire thread and pass it along next week to the couple at my Nar-Anon home group.
They are still in the frantic mode and seem like the more information they can collect, the happier they are.
Some would argue that this activity on their part is enabling; I disagree. What they are offering to their son is help with his recovery at a time where he is probably not capable of gathering good information purely on his own. What they plan to offer is no different than the advice he would get from a counselor. The final decisions are all his -- where to go after rehab and of course the BIG one -- staying clean or going back out.
Keep coming back,
Jim
Thanks for your first hand perspective and observations of your Mom.
The way this is going I may just copy this entire thread and pass it along next week to the couple at my Nar-Anon home group.
They are still in the frantic mode and seem like the more information they can collect, the happier they are.
Some would argue that this activity on their part is enabling; I disagree. What they are offering to their son is help with his recovery at a time where he is probably not capable of gathering good information purely on his own. What they plan to offer is no different than the advice he would get from a counselor. The final decisions are all his -- where to go after rehab and of course the BIG one -- staying clean or going back out.
Keep coming back,
Jim
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
In Ontario, where I live, the cost of living in a sober living place is often (not always) covered by our government health plan and city welfare services, for those who cannot afford to pay. I could not have afforded to pay for any of this and am grateful that I didn't have to.
And yes, as with any recovery plan, the success rate is directly related to the addict's desire and willingness to do what must be done to get clean/sober. As they say in the rooms, "it works if you work it".
Jim, please tell your friends that this Canadian mama will keep them and their son in my prayers. God's got us all covered, I believe.
Hugs
And yes, as with any recovery plan, the success rate is directly related to the addict's desire and willingness to do what must be done to get clean/sober. As they say in the rooms, "it works if you work it".
Jim, please tell your friends that this Canadian mama will keep them and their son in my prayers. God's got us all covered, I believe.
Hugs
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Join Date: Aug 2015
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 8,674
Originally Posted by JimC60 
August,
Thanks for your first hand perspective and observations of your Mom.
The way this is going I may just copy this entire thread and pass it along next week to the couple at my Nar-Anon home group.
They are still in the frantic mode and seem like the more information they can collect, the happier they are.
Some would argue that this activity on their part is enabling; I disagree. What they are offering to their son is help with his recovery at a time where he is probably not capable of gathering good information purely on his own. What they plan to offer is no different than the advice he would get from a counselor. The final decisions are all his -- where to go after rehab and of course the BIG one -- staying clean or going back out.
Keep coming back,
Jim
Thanks for your first hand perspective and observations of your Mom.
The way this is going I may just copy this entire thread and pass it along next week to the couple at my Nar-Anon home group.
They are still in the frantic mode and seem like the more information they can collect, the happier they are.
Some would argue that this activity on their part is enabling; I disagree. What they are offering to their son is help with his recovery at a time where he is probably not capable of gathering good information purely on his own. What they plan to offer is no different than the advice he would get from a counselor. The final decisions are all his -- where to go after rehab and of course the BIG one -- staying clean or going back out.
Keep coming back,
Jim
To the part about him not being able to gather good info on his own- this is a very astute observation and an important point, because active alcoholics simply do not have perspective on our situations and cannot clearly see and understand the choices in front of us (in many cases and certainly mine- I was extremely sick after years of chronic, heavy alcohol abuse). We do need (GOOD) info and guidance to make choices- those of us that have good counselors, doctors and loving family members are well served to receive guidance and have the chance and choice to accept it.
Prayers for the whole family.
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