rbotlove

Hi I feel like I need support, two weeks ago I found out my boyfriend was cheating and using behind my back. There was enough evidence and my instincts told me it was true. I am also a recovering alcoholic/addict and I've done one of the hardest things I've ever had to do. I walked away from the man I love to put myself as my sobriety first. I was also enabling him and I refuse to accept his addictive behaviour and stay by him while he destroys his life. This is so hard because I love him so much. But I love myself more. I just want to know is there hope that he will get sober and some day come back to me? I believe there is a place for us if we are both clean, sober and stable. But will the love he had for me ever come back if he gets clean?

JOIE12

my crystal ball was broken each time I needed a what if answer. For me, letting go was a long process but it always allowed me the time to open my eyes to what I wanted and let go of my addiction to another person.

I applaud your sobriety and commitment to it. My feeling about this is that it's tough enough to stay on track but life with another person battling the same - seems like it would push me over the edge, watching, hoping, praying, monitoring .... I found that just one lie, was enough to begin the process of healing.

Lies are the death of a bond between two people, no matter what the relationship.

Ann

Cheating and using are both serious deal breakers and you are wise to walk away to save yourself and your sobriety.

Your recovery may be a beacon of light to him (or others) who see you living your recovery and thriving.

Whatever unfolds, please find joy in your life and wrap yourself in the support your recovery offers.

Hugs

rbotlove

Thank you so much for the replies! It's been a little over two weeks when I found out about the cheating and the using. Honestly I've never been so strong and there's been some nasty manipulating texts from him along the way. But I never thought I could be so happy, even though there are very hard times during the day of grieving. But I do not regret my decision! Of course I still love him that's what keeps me praying for him. Even though I'm letting go and with out a doubt I feel it's the right thing to do I do still hope there may be a place for of if he chooses sobriety. Of course I may be in a different place because I'm growing every day, as time goes on I may feel differently!

rbotlove

I heard something I liked in an article it said that the addict is rejecting you because of his addiction not absence of love. Does that mean the love is still somewhere there? That if he chooses to get sober his love will remain?