treasures4u

My sister is 50 yrs old. My mother is 71. My sister is an alcoholic and drug addict. We all live in the same block of each other. My sister moved here about 6 months ago. Well....I am fully aware of what my sister does and how she lies for her drug of choice which is pills (percocet, lortab, morphine). She knows that my mother and father both take Hydrocodone. Since she has moved here, she goes to my mothers house EVERY single morning at 5:30 for coffee (yeah, right). Well, she found out that my mother received a script for pain pills because she has severe osteoporosis. So NOW she is pretending she has severe headaches and going to my mothers EVERY single night and sleeping in bed with her. I am sooooo angry I can't see straight.
My mother has a blind spot when it comes to my sis because my sis knows exactly how to get to my mom. She cries and throws theatrics and my mother believes it. My father has her gimmick and won't give her anything. He has tried to tell mom too but she yells at him. So, I made my sister go and have test done for her so called headaches and they found nothing.
I can see that this is taking a BIG toll on my mother. She looks awful, tired and stressed. My mom went through 120 pills in 2 weeks giving them to my sister so now my mother doesn't have any. I tried to talk to my mom and she refuses to listen to me. She keeps saying "but she is in pain and scared". I can't get my mother to realize what is happening. So then I tried talking to my sister and telling her she needs help and that she is an addict and all she cares about is herself and doesn't it matter to her what she is doing to mom. She won't listen either. Why should she?
I am so upset and stressed myself. I don't know what to do. I want to beat the crap out of my sister and shake my mother. It is sooo killing me to see both of them in trouble especially my mom. What do I do? HELP!

thequest

The adult addict is just as sneaky if not more than a younger simply by their age because they have more experience to draw from. The younger addict might jump right into crime or be more impulsive but adult addicts hopefully will stick to unethical behavior if not stealing from family. But unless the daughter is caught red handed with drugs with no prescription there's not much that can be done. Also the entire family is in regular contact with her must be made to realize not to enable. It takes time to convince older parents because they are already set in their ways and have a certain perception of their adult KIDS.

Cut off the money and drugs any way possible. Basic humanitarian aid only.

Good Luck!

hopeful4

Try to explain to your mother if she is in such severe pain she should be able to get her own medication. Sleeping in bed w/her? Good grief. I cannot even imagine your frustration.

Tight hugs. Seek Naranon if possible for your own sanity.

Twofish

Dear Treasures4u,
I'm really sorry you're going thru this. Active addicts will lie, steal and manipulate to
get what they want. Regardless of who gets hurt. My RADs would break into the safe
to get at narcotics, leaving me in great pain (after I fractured a vertabrae in a car accident)
Sounds like your mom's in denial or really believes your sister is hurting.
BTW it's illegal to give a controlled substance to another person w/o a medical
license, if that even matters to your sister. Your mom is breaking her drug contract &
if her Dr finds out she's giving her Vicodin tabs to someone else, he may deny her
further refills. This is a very touchy situation.
Can your dad hold your moms pills?
Try not to get in the middle of this, nobody is listening to you except maybe your
Dad? Your sister won't stay away from your moms pills until she gets cut off.
Besides with these "headaches" she's having, she can find herself her own
Dr to give her some pain pills? Right?
Take care of yourself,
TF

treasures4u

TY everyone for replying. My family and I have tried to do ALL of those things. I did go talk to my preacher today and he pretty much told me what Twofish stated. It is sooo hard to stay out of it. It's the hardest thing I have ever tried to do because of my mom. But...I guess I have to do that. Thank You again for all your help.

irisgardens

Treasure...glad you are trying to stay out of it...you are being wise...and that is a good thing.

zoso77

Welcome to the Board. I read your first post, and the first thing I said to myself was "Yikes".

What your sister is doing is totally transparent. Unfortunately, there really is nothing you can do that's constructive. If your mom's an easy mark and can't see through your sister like you (and pretty much everyone here) can, then the smart play is to allow your mother the right to make her own mistakes.

I would remove myself from the situation, and I would have as little to do with your sister as possible.

I wish things could be different. But the only way that will happen is if your mom has had enough.

FeelingGreat

Treasure, tell your Mum you'll be there for her when she finally understands what your sister is doing, but resist the urge to rescue her either now or later.

Soberintexas007

Yes, it does not seem like there is nothing else you can do. You have told your mother what you think, but she has not responded in the way you wanted her to. So you really have no choice other than to back off now.

When I told my husband that I did not want to be in a relationship with an active alcoholic, I was lucky he responded the way I wanted him to and has been sober now for a few weeks. If he hadn't responded, things would be much different now. I guess it's a crapshoot concerning whether our addicted loved ones will respond or not.

seek

You could call Adult Protective Services and advise your mom is being taken advantage of, but that will cause a lot of fallout . . . can you talk to your mom's doctor, a priest/rabbi/minister/social worker? Or talk to some people at Alanon?

Txhelp

I agree with seek.....APS is a way to go if she her health is declining. They can investigate....