The Twelve CODA Promises

[roxiestone]

For my recovery work, right now, I am reading and studying the twelve CODA promises.

If you've worked a CODA program, I'd be interested in your ESH re: the promises.

[lavonna]

Where can I get a list of the 12 coda promises?

[Aries40]

I can expect a miraculous change in my life by working the program of Co-Dependents Anonymous. As I make an honest effort to work the Twelve Steps and follow the Twelve Traditions...

1.I know a new sense of belonging. The feeling of emptiness and loneliness will disappear.

2.I am no longer controlled by my fears. I overcome my fears and act with courage, integrity and dignity.

3.I know a new freedom.

4.I release myself from worry, guilt, and regret about my past and present. I am aware enough not to repeat it.

5.I know a new love and acceptance of myself and others. I feel genuinely lovable, loving and loved.

6.I learn to see myself as equal to others. My new and renewed relationships are all with equal partners.

7.I am capable of developing and maintaining healthy and loving relationships. The need to control and manipulate others will disappear as I learn to trust those who are trustworthy.

8.I learn that it is possible to mend - to become more loving, intimate and supportive. I have the choice of communicating with my family in a way which is safe for me and respectful of them.

9.I acknowledge that I am a unique and precious creation.

10.I no longer need to rely solely on others to provide my sense of worth.

11.I trust a guidance I receive from my higher power and come to believe in my own capabilities.

12.I gradually experience serenity, strength, and spiritual growth in my daily life.

Aries

[Aries40]

Patterns and Characteristics of Codependence

These patterns and characteristics are offered as a tool to aid in self-evaluation. They may be particularly helpful to newcomers.



Denial Patterns:


■I have difficulty identifying what I am feeling.
■I minimize, alter or deny how I truly feel.
■I perceive myself as completely unselfish and dedicated to the well being of others.



Low Self Esteem Patterns:


■I have difficulty making decisions.
■I judge everything I think, say or do harshly, as never "good enough."
■I am embarrassed to receive recognition and praise or gifts.
■I do not ask others to meet my needs or desires.
■I value others' approval of my thinking, feelings and behavior over my own.
■I do not perceive myself as a lovable or worthwhile person.



Compliance Patterns:


■I compromise my own values and integrity to avoid rejection or others' anger.
■I am very sensitive to how others are feeling and feel the same.
■I am extremely loyal, remaining in harmful situations too long.
■I value others' opinions and feelings more than my own and am afraid to express differing opinions and feelings of my own.
■I put aside my own interests and hobbies in order to do what others want.
■I accept sex when I want love.



Control Patterns:


■I believe most other people are incapable of taking care of themselves.
■I attempt to convince others of what they "should" think and how they "truly" feel.
■I become resentful when others will not let me help them.
■I freely offer others advice and directions without being asked.
■I lavish gifts and favors on those I care about.
■I use sex to gain approval and acceptance.
■I have to be "needed" in order to have a relationship with others.

[Aries40]

Doing a lot of self work...and this information was most helpful to me. Thought I would share here for those who are interested.

Aries