Patterns and Characteristics of Codependence
These patterns and characteristics are offered as a tool to aid in self-evaluation. They may be particularly helpful to newcomers.
Denial Patterns:
■I have difficulty identifying what I am feeling.
■I minimize, alter or deny how I truly feel.
■I perceive myself as completely unselfish and dedicated to the well being of others.
Low Self Esteem Patterns:
■I have difficulty making decisions.
■I judge everything I think, say or do harshly, as never "good enough."
■I am embarrassed to receive recognition and praise or gifts.
■I do not ask others to meet my needs or desires.
■I value others' approval of my thinking, feelings and behavior over my own.
■I do not perceive myself as a lovable or worthwhile person.
Compliance Patterns:
■I compromise my own values and integrity to avoid rejection or others' anger.
■I am very sensitive to how others are feeling and feel the same.
■I am extremely loyal, remaining in harmful situations too long.
■I value others' opinions and feelings more than my own and am afraid to express differing opinions and feelings of my own.
■I put aside my own interests and hobbies in order to do what others want.
■I accept sex when I want love.
Control Patterns:
■I believe most other people are incapable of taking care of themselves.
■I attempt to convince others of what they "should" think and how they "truly" feel.
■I become resentful when others will not let me help them.
■I freely offer others advice and directions without being asked.
■I lavish gifts and favors on those I care about.
■I use sex to gain approval and acceptance.
■I have to be "needed" in order to have a relationship with others.