my husband is addicted to meth
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2005
Location: scared and hurt
Posts: 3
my husband is addicted to meth
my husband has been sneaking around for a long time doing crystal meth. I guess I didn't want to believe it could be true and maybe "looked the other way" . Deep denial and embarrassment on my part. We have kids in college and we both have good jobs - although his is pretty shaky right now. He has just started voluntarily going to outpatient rehab and narcotics anonomous - starting this past Thursday. He said he has been using a needle for at least a couple of years. I'm terrified for him and us. Is it possible for someone to get off of that stuff? All I have ever heard is it is the hardest thing if not impossible to kick. I feel so alone - does anyone have any advice on how I can help him kick the habit or similar story to share with me? Please pray for us.
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Join Date: May 2004
Location: In the mountain air
Posts: 1,345
anglig,
There are success stories everywhere. Just take a read around this website- and I couldn't count on both hands the successes in my fiance's meetings.
There is really nothing you can do to help him, he has to do this for himself...you can do plenty to help yourself though. You can go to meetings for you, you can put the focus back on you, you can take good care of you. Face to face meetings can really be a wonderful place to find support and understanding for what you have been going through. Bottom line, is that he will have to deal with his own recovery, and you will have to deal with your. Addiction is a family disease, and that is why there are meetings for those of us who love someone who is addicted. Nar-anon or al-anon meetings should be in your area...please find one and go to it.
For now, continue to read here, the sticky posts at the beginning of the forum, and the beginning of the Nar-anon forum would be a great place to start. Also, get the book "Codependent No More" by Melodie Beattie. It will help you in ways I can't begin to desribe. Continue to post, continue to read, and before you know it, you'll realize that you're feeling a lot better, and that you are able to cope with whatever you need to...it doesn't mean that things will become perfect, or that you won't have bad days, it means that you will begin to learn how to deal with it.
Make yourself comfy...take some time to get to know all of us, we look forward to getting to know you. Welcome to SR.
There are success stories everywhere. Just take a read around this website- and I couldn't count on both hands the successes in my fiance's meetings.
There is really nothing you can do to help him, he has to do this for himself...you can do plenty to help yourself though. You can go to meetings for you, you can put the focus back on you, you can take good care of you. Face to face meetings can really be a wonderful place to find support and understanding for what you have been going through. Bottom line, is that he will have to deal with his own recovery, and you will have to deal with your. Addiction is a family disease, and that is why there are meetings for those of us who love someone who is addicted. Nar-anon or al-anon meetings should be in your area...please find one and go to it.
For now, continue to read here, the sticky posts at the beginning of the forum, and the beginning of the Nar-anon forum would be a great place to start. Also, get the book "Codependent No More" by Melodie Beattie. It will help you in ways I can't begin to desribe. Continue to post, continue to read, and before you know it, you'll realize that you're feeling a lot better, and that you are able to cope with whatever you need to...it doesn't mean that things will become perfect, or that you won't have bad days, it means that you will begin to learn how to deal with it.
Make yourself comfy...take some time to get to know all of us, we look forward to getting to know you. Welcome to SR.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2005
Location: scared and hurt
Posts: 3
Thank you so very much for the advice and words if encouragement. I will find a meeting to attend in my area and will get the book you mentioned. It helped so much so see that you cared enough to respond. Can I let you know how the meeting went? Thank you.
Last edited by anglig; 06-01-2005 at 05:10 AM. Reason: spelling
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Join Date: May 2005
Location: Lincolnshire, England
Posts: 464
Welcome Anglig
You've found a great place to start your journey on the road to recovery.
I'm new here too.
You'll get lots of good advice and support here, please feel that you can tell the guys on here anything thats on your mind.
We all have different backgrounds and situations to share here, but one of the things we have in common is that we are all seeking ways to deal with our hopes and fears.
Please do let us know how you get on,
Take care
I'm new here too.
You'll get lots of good advice and support here, please feel that you can tell the guys on here anything thats on your mind.
We all have different backgrounds and situations to share here, but one of the things we have in common is that we are all seeking ways to deal with our hopes and fears.
Please do let us know how you get on,
Take care
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: WA
Posts: 19
Anglig,
My husband was too addicted to Crystal Meth. I had no idea he was doing drugs. He started acting different and I couldn't figure out what was going on. He always treated me good, just started acting like he didn't care as much. Couldn't put my finger on it. I asked him one day, "what is wrong with you?" His response shocked me and changed our lives forever. "I am addicted to Crystal Meth, and have been doing it for a couple of years." My first reaction was anger. I told him to pack up and get out, had no idea of how to deal with the situation and really didn't want to. He said if he couldn't live in his own home that he would leave the state and start over. I called his sister (that had no idea either) and asked her to come over. She showed up and told him he had 2 choices. 1. Keep doing what you are doing and lose your wife and children. 2. Go to rehab and get your life back on track. I stayed completely out the of the conversation. He agreed that rehab was what he was going to do. He asked if he could stay if he went to rehab. I told him that he could (praying that he followed through). A week later he checked into an inpatient rehab for 3 weeks. I went through every emotion that I can think of. Had some good times and bad times.
It is now over 4 years later and he continues to be clean and sober : ) We have had some difficult times since than and have gone to marriage counseling and struggled to find our way back to eachother. Its a long continuous road that requires work. The result has been worth it for me.
Crystal Meth is a very difficult drug to kick. I am here to tell you that it can be done.
As you go through this, just remember you are not alone and that there are people praying for you!
Love,
Snick
My husband was too addicted to Crystal Meth. I had no idea he was doing drugs. He started acting different and I couldn't figure out what was going on. He always treated me good, just started acting like he didn't care as much. Couldn't put my finger on it. I asked him one day, "what is wrong with you?" His response shocked me and changed our lives forever. "I am addicted to Crystal Meth, and have been doing it for a couple of years." My first reaction was anger. I told him to pack up and get out, had no idea of how to deal with the situation and really didn't want to. He said if he couldn't live in his own home that he would leave the state and start over. I called his sister (that had no idea either) and asked her to come over. She showed up and told him he had 2 choices. 1. Keep doing what you are doing and lose your wife and children. 2. Go to rehab and get your life back on track. I stayed completely out the of the conversation. He agreed that rehab was what he was going to do. He asked if he could stay if he went to rehab. I told him that he could (praying that he followed through). A week later he checked into an inpatient rehab for 3 weeks. I went through every emotion that I can think of. Had some good times and bad times.
It is now over 4 years later and he continues to be clean and sober : ) We have had some difficult times since than and have gone to marriage counseling and struggled to find our way back to eachother. Its a long continuous road that requires work. The result has been worth it for me.
Crystal Meth is a very difficult drug to kick. I am here to tell you that it can be done.
As you go through this, just remember you are not alone and that there are people praying for you!
Love,
Snick
Member
Join Date: Jun 2014
Location: missouri
Posts: 11
My husband just told me on June 3rd that he was addicted to meth and had been using for the past 8 years. In our home....not making it but using in his detached garage. I'm not going to give you any advice bc I need some myself! Just know that with all the information you read it doesn't have to be you/him. The most and some what unwanted advice I have gotten from EVERYBODY is take care of U! I'll be praying for you!
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
Anglig, welcome to SR. I'm glad you found us here and glad you're feeling a little better already. Sometimes it does make such a difference just to talk to someone who cares, doesn't it?
It's good news that he's reaching out for help thru rehab and NA. It's also good news that you've realized you can't do this alone and are looking for help for yourself, too. You each have your own separate recovery to work on, and your recovery in no way depends on his, nor his on you.
I don't know if you intended to post in the alcoholism section of the forum (and you are welcome to continue doing so if you wish), but wanted to let you know we do have a substance abuse section also. You may want to take a look at that to see if it seems more directly pertinent to you and your situation. Here's a link: Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Reading as much as you can on the forum, making sure not to skip the stickied threads at the top of each section, is a great way to get started at SR. I think you'll realize just how far from alone you really are, and I also think you'll start to feel that there is hope.
Wishing you clarity and strength.
It's good news that he's reaching out for help thru rehab and NA. It's also good news that you've realized you can't do this alone and are looking for help for yourself, too. You each have your own separate recovery to work on, and your recovery in no way depends on his, nor his on you.
I don't know if you intended to post in the alcoholism section of the forum (and you are welcome to continue doing so if you wish), but wanted to let you know we do have a substance abuse section also. You may want to take a look at that to see if it seems more directly pertinent to you and your situation. Here's a link: Friends and Family of Substance Abusers - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Reading as much as you can on the forum, making sure not to skip the stickied threads at the top of each section, is a great way to get started at SR. I think you'll realize just how far from alone you really are, and I also think you'll start to feel that there is hope.
Wishing you clarity and strength.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: USA
Posts: 17
Anglig, very sorry that you are going through this. Yes it is possible. I have a personal success story. A boyfriend years back was a meth addict unbeknownst to me through our entire relationship. Once the addiction escalated he would go off on binges and disappear for days at a time. He stole money from me, lied to me and put me in a perpetual state of worry. Trying to help him I even moved in with him 65 miles away so he wasn't easily around his circle of friends who used and I had to commute to work every day. He wasn't working and he was lying about being enrolled in tech school. He was commuting every day also back and forth to his drug friends! We went to counseling together where he finally admitted he was out of control. I staged an intervention with his family to increase his support circle and we got him in rehab. I told him then that he needed to focus on his recovery and we couldn't continue our relationship but I would be in his support system if he needed me. He has been clean now for 18 years has a wife and children and is a happy and productive member of society. If the will to kick the habit is stronger than the addiction, he can beat it. Stay strong and good luck.
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
Hello. I am so sorry for what you are going through. I would say the best thing you can do is get support for you. He has to work through his own addiction, the most important thing on your list needs to be stability for yourself.
Try to remember that there is a big difference in enabling an addict and encouraging. You can cheer him on, support him, but you cannot be his sponsor and take on his feelings yourself.
Take good care of you and get all the support you need so no matter what the outcome is, you are prepared and ready.
Tight Hugs. We are here to support you and will do so!
Try to remember that there is a big difference in enabling an addict and encouraging. You can cheer him on, support him, but you cannot be his sponsor and take on his feelings yourself.
Take good care of you and get all the support you need so no matter what the outcome is, you are prepared and ready.
Tight Hugs. We are here to support you and will do so!
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Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Midwest
Posts: 11,481
Originally Posted by catlovermi 
This is a really old thread.
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
LOL...totally missed that! That always happens to me when someone reserects an old one!
Whoops! O well, sometimes people get good info over what people say on old threads. Hope all the other people are doing well.
Whoops! O well, sometimes people get good info over what people say on old threads. Hope all the other people are doing well.
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