My XABF committed suicide
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Carlotta, it was very unsettling news that you received, of course you are upset right now and it's good that you are processing it.
I am so sorry for this tragic way of ending his life, and the pain it has brought all who loved him. But I think it is wonderful and remarkable that you and his sister share your letters treating him as a real human being who meant something important in each of your lives, in spite of the addiction that estranged him. You have put the "person" back in the addict, given him a name, a face and the respect of caring that he died and how.
Now comes the forgiveness, if nothing more than forgiving the past for bringing you all pain.
May he rest in peace in the arms of God, who loves all His children, even those who were addicted and sick.
Hugs
I am so sorry for this tragic way of ending his life, and the pain it has brought all who loved him. But I think it is wonderful and remarkable that you and his sister share your letters treating him as a real human being who meant something important in each of your lives, in spite of the addiction that estranged him. You have put the "person" back in the addict, given him a name, a face and the respect of caring that he died and how.
Now comes the forgiveness, if nothing more than forgiving the past for bringing you all pain.
May he rest in peace in the arms of God, who loves all His children, even those who were addicted and sick.
Hugs
Behold the power of NO
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
Thank you so much everyone for your support. I took a short nap and while I still don't know how I feel. I know I don't feel frozen inside but rather peaceful.
I had some work related obligation tonight but I decided to take the rest of the day off, get myself my favorite comfort food (French cheese and Nutella) and spend the rest of the day watching feel good movies and reading SR.
I truly appreciate all of you
I had some work related obligation tonight but I decided to take the rest of the day off, get myself my favorite comfort food (French cheese and Nutella) and spend the rest of the day watching feel good movies and reading SR.
I truly appreciate all of you
torquemax777
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Montrose CO
Posts: 350
Dearest Carlotta, you are a testimant to recovery! Your childhood, your own struggles with addiction, and having deeply loved a man who didn't believe he could overcome the odds the way you did. In my book, the way you lived your life.... Was all you could do to "help" him. You did everything "you" could do.
Prayers and blessings your way...
Just because we physically have to leave them, does not mean that they will not forever hold a very special and deep rooted place in our hearts. It's so heart wrenching that they cannot always see the potential in themselves that we see in them.
This bless Carlotta.
Prayers and blessings your way...
Just because we physically have to leave them, does not mean that they will not forever hold a very special and deep rooted place in our hearts. It's so heart wrenching that they cannot always see the potential in themselves that we see in them.
This bless Carlotta.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2013
Posts: 982
Sending you HUGS Carlotta.
I have an xABF who passed away due to alcoholism last year.
I had not spoken to him for three years, but I had continued to have nightmares about him and about being trapped in his home and not being able to leave, at least weekly. Since I learned that he had passed away, I have had only one or two dreams about him that I can remember, and they have been good dreams.
Before he passed away, I still carried much resentment toward him, ... But I have been able to let that go since.
I heard a song the other day that reminded me of him, and it made me smile. I felt his presence at that moment in a good way. The good memories I have of him are now taking over the bad, which has been good for me.
Sending the message to his sister already provided you with some healing...I hope that, after the initial shock of this, you will continue to experience closure and healing.
Take care
I have an xABF who passed away due to alcoholism last year.
I had not spoken to him for three years, but I had continued to have nightmares about him and about being trapped in his home and not being able to leave, at least weekly. Since I learned that he had passed away, I have had only one or two dreams about him that I can remember, and they have been good dreams.
Before he passed away, I still carried much resentment toward him, ... But I have been able to let that go since.
I heard a song the other day that reminded me of him, and it made me smile. I felt his presence at that moment in a good way. The good memories I have of him are now taking over the bad, which has been good for me.
Sending the message to his sister already provided you with some healing...I hope that, after the initial shock of this, you will continue to experience closure and healing.
Take care
Behold the power of NO
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: WA
Posts: 7,764
Thank you everyone for your hugs support and for sharing your ESH
I wish I could share that I did some very spiritual thing yesterday but truth be told I just watched movies and ate (I really liked Guardians Of The Galaxy).
I am feeling ok today
I wish I could share that I did some very spiritual thing yesterday but truth be told I just watched movies and ate (I really liked Guardians Of The Galaxy).
I am feeling ok today
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