meggem

Yes, I do feel like I did the right thing even though I knew he would react the way he did. I would want to know.

So - seems the general consensus is don't feed the ducks and if he keeps quacking I shut him down with the verbiage you guys so nicely volunteered? I don't mean to ask you guys "exactly" what I should do, but I can't help it. I trust you all.

unsureoffuture

There is no "report" except the medical record which he can obtain and pay for by contacting the medical records department of the hospital. You are not under any obligation to provide that to him I dont think. Direct him to the hospital and he can get it on his own. Accidents do happen. Kids will be kids. It sounds like you had a heck of a weekend. Relax, deep breath and keep doing what you are doing. You are a great mom. Dont forget it.

meggem

I posted but I don't think it "took"

I agree, I think I did the right thing by telling him, even though I knew he would react the way he did. I would want to know..

So it seems the general consensus is don't feed the ducks and if he keep quacking shut him down with the verbiage you guys suggested?

I don't mean to ask you all *exactly* what I should do, but I trust you guys and I don't want to go back to that place I was in a few weeks ago.

meggem

oops it did, I see it now..sorry

Thumper

If it were me I'd simply say "I have no report. Discharge instructions were verbal." and leave it at that. No suggestions for him. No letting him know what you'll do. He knows what he's doing anyway. I'd ignore everything after that. Zero response. I would also keep a note of any harassment after that in case I ever needed proof of such regarding the PFA.

Sorry too - I know it is a crummy feeling. My son broke his elbow shortly after we separated and I called him. He wouldn't see him, speak with him, ask how he was, help with the 10yo and two toddlers that had to wait many hours in waiting rooms with no supper etc. Radio Silence and I know it was to 'teach me a lesson' about how invaluable he was and what a mistake I was making. It was so sad and went a long way in enforcing what a POS he was so it didn't work out like he was expecting.

ashamed2day

What a jerk!!! He doesn't bother ask how she is doing? doesn't bother to ask what she needs? Kids don't live in a bubble.
I wouldn't respond, You did what you were suppose to and contacted him. Id keep the email and document he is a jerk.

atalose

If it were me, I’d send a copy of the discharge papers. If he wants more than that then let him to get it.

As for your wanting to “say something”” to him about his lack of asking appropriate questions about your daughter – I’d let that go.

Focus on her NOT him or his demands or trying to get him to be the kind of father you wished he could be.

NWGRITS

My exhole tried to get me because another mom called CPS on me for a complete bullsh*t thing. My autistic DD refused to wear a coat to school. I pick my battles. You'd have thought I was intentionally making my children go to school in January without coats on, the way my ex went on and on. The thing is, he DOES neglect them when they're with him. He just had to take one little thing and blow it up because it was me, not him. They can be such asses sometimes. Don't feed the ducks. (((Hugs)))

SoberLife2014

meggem, as a former ER nurse I can tell you that the medical staff in the ER probably didn't write anything interesting in the ER "report". Tell him that if he wants the report he's going to have to go through medical records and pay for it himself. It's not your obligation to provide it to him and even if he does get a copy of it, like I said, I doubt he'll find anything interesting on there.

He's probably just fixated on this as a result of himself feeling like an inadequate father. He's looking at any excuse to push you down to make himself feel better. I'd suggest directing him to medical records and leaving it at that. I'd avoid saying anything else. If he gets angry or demanding then just keep it for your records

heartcore

ok, maybe I'm just snarky, but I would likely return the email with:

"I got you the number for the medical records folks at the hospital - ***-****

I'm so glad that you're starting to keep a medical notebook for Suzie! I read that suggestion in one of my co-parenting books. If I come across any past medical records, old immunization records, etc., I'll send copies...."

And then I actually would. Send all sorts of weird old scraps and bits of this and that, with little post-its that say "for medical notebook." Continue sending over time...

I would enjoy this, because I feel like it would confuse him terribly, and diffuse whatever original intent he had of using it against you.

Any little trick to make co-parenting fun (for you). You can leave a relationship, but the co-parenting lasts pretty much forever, and the important thing is to play with different approaches. Strategic confusion - that's my happy place...

SeriousKarma

I'm with Heartcore!

I was going to suggest that you go back to the hospital, stand in front of the Emergency Room sign, pull your pants down, have someone take a picture of your bottom, and send it to him with a letter saying "Here's your report."

But I think that Heartcore's idea is far more subtle.

NWGRITS

Heartcore, I actually did that. Ex made a stink over something trivial, but he demanded to know why I hadn't said anything (it was seriously something minor). So I had the kids call him or I messaged him every single time something happened. It was beautiful. He got so angry and I told him, "You asked to know any time anything happens. I'm just following your wishes here." He's gone back to never calling the kids unless his mother wants to talk to them.

meggem

LOL I love you guys.

I decided that if I did not nip this in the bud immediately I was leaving the door open for him to continue. He asked for it to be mailed - which meant I had days and days left of this and I had been so traumatized by him I decided I was important enough.

I took pieces from all of you and this is what I wrote:

I received your text and your email. DD was seen at Easton Hospital last night for stitches on her foot as per my conversation with you. As I was last night and going forward, I am happy to answer any questions about her and how she is feeling: Only.

Anything outside of that is violating the PFA order.

I do not have a “report” however, as a parent you can access the same information I can so feel free to access what you need to access independently.

AND I CC'd my Lawyer.

BOOM

meggem

thanks lulu....glad to hear from a former ER nurse

ResignedToWait

*high five* nicely done

hopeful4

Good good job!!!!

FireSprite

I know it's not *right* but I looooooove the way you think! This is absolutely something that would cross my mind.

meg- well handled!!!!

ashamed2day

Bravo!!

Rosiepetal

You did what was required by you lawfully & you DO NOT have to legally produce a written document to him unless you have a lengthy order telling you to do so & I doubt that very much.
Stuff him, it makes me so mad.
It was an accident, you informed him, it is done. No further action required.

BoxinRotz

So what did the jerk have to say to this? lol