SeekingGrowth

Hello all, looking for some insight. I became legal guardian for a young man (my "bonus son") who came to live with me at the age of 17. He came from a household where the parents grew and smoked marijuana daily, and began smoking at about 14. By the time he came to live with me, he was hitting the bong first thing in the morning, and smoked throughout the day. Created lots of tension between us because I don't allow that activity in my house. He nearly failed out of school, couldn't hold a job, and during the course of the two years he was with me, he graduated to opiates, ultimately heroin, and died in April four days before his 20th birthday.

Prior to this experience, I was fairly neutral on the subject of marijuana. I don't use it, nor am I an addict, so I lack experience that could help me answer my questions here. My experience with my bonus son convinced me that it IS possible to be addicted to marijuana, and that the drug CAN mess up your life, even though by itself it won't kill you.

Several of my bonus son's friends smoke marijuana regularly. Two of them smoke every day, are in college, and are on the Dean's list. Their use doesn't seem to impact their productivity. I attributed a lot of my bonus son's failures and lack of motivation to his marijuana use (before he moved on to opiates), but these young people insist (as many do these days) that marijuana is not addictive, does not negatively impact anything in their lives, and "makes everything better." They think that people like my bonus son have other issues that create their problems, and that marijuana is not to blame.

I would like to hear some opinions from people with experience on this board. Not looking for political arguments on the pros and cons of legalization or on use of the drug generally. Just trying to figure out if I know what I'm talking about when I argue with these young people that marijuana can be addictive and damaging to one's life potential, and that maybe daily use isn't a good idea.

doggonecarl

I smoked all day, every day for about ten years before I quit. Quitting was difficult, as hard as quitting methamphetamine. I was addicted.

Is it addictive for everyone? I don't know. I'm on the recovery boards for alcohol. It's clear that there are those who can drink, often times heavily, and not be dependent on alcohol. And there are those who can't. I tend to think it's the same way with marijuana.

As far as arguing with your bonus son's friends...don't waste your breath. The most indisputable evidence in the world won't convince them to quit smoking, much less "proof" you get from a recovery forum.

Good luck.

wow04

I too smoked all day every day. I did it for about 8 years. What happened to me was it wasn't enough, I needed to get higher, which took me to other drugs.

You will never get his friends to understand they shouldn't do it.

frankinnc

Hi, I have alot of experience with this. I was a hard-core pot head for several years. I did however lose interest in it eventually...after discovering cocaine and then--later-- becoming a crackhead! So for me it was the "gate way drug" as some folks like to call it. But it depends on the person, honestly. Some folks can handle it..my cousin smokes all day long everyday and has done so for years (and he holds down a job and never graduated to harder drugs). I know quite a few people that smoke everyday and are okay. But then for others it can be a great problem (rob them of their motivation, make them couch potatoes, or lead to harder drugs, etc.) And regardless of what some folks may tell you, it can become addictive for some folks. For example, when I was a pothead I would have to have it everyday or else I'd become really ill/aggravated, and did (on occasion) have to go to extreme lengths to get it. But of course it usually doesnt cause problems like the harder drugs because it lasts longer and you dont have to spend big cash on it all day to maintain your habit (like crack). So there ya go.

liv1ce

I will get addicted to ANYTHING that will get me high. I smoked pot every day all day as you see phrased so frequently on this thread. I couldn't stand the thought of being without it and would get the same apprehension I got when I ran low on booze and oxy later on. I had to get high. The only reason I stopped smoking pot was I could no longer get it. I was in my 30's running around with 16 yr olds to get high. It started to look pretty stupid - and felt stupid as well. I would still be smoking pot if I somehow could. I have no clue how to get any. I'm too dammed old. The problem would be that once I found some I would smoke ALL of it right away and then scrounge to find some more, and more, and more. It is damned addictive to some people. Try removing all the pot from some of your alternate son's friends and see how they do.

Dee74

I removed a post (and some replies that quoted the post) under our rule 2.

Please address your remarks to the OP and her question.

D

Dee74

It certainly was addictive for me SG.

I destroyed my life as completely on pot as I did on anything else.
It's destroyed a lot of my friends lives too.

I think anyone who doesn't appreciate that is either very lucky in their experience or - more likely - they're just not far enough along on the curve of experience yet.

D

SeekingGrowth

Thanks so much, everyone. I really appreciate your comments. I knew this was a "dangerous" question when I asked it. Passions run high on this subject and so much of the discussion is political. I've heard the political arguments on both sides and wasn't looking for that discussion. Just experiences. And I really appreciate all of you sharing yours with me.

Jody675

my last bf started on pot when he was in his teens. and barely graduated high school. he too graduated though to different and much harder substances, and alcohol. but even while on some hard core drugs and taking them a lot (like meth, and acid) he managed to go to university and graduate with distinctions in chemistry (ironic hey...hahah) he has held down good jobs and continued this lifestyle til 2 years ago when he had a medical issue that changed his outlook and he cleaned up his act. (in saying that he still thinks that acid is ok and a good drug, but does admit that pot is addictive) so drugs can completely screw peoples lives up while other still manage to function. you can't try and change anyones opinion but your own. if you think ALL drugs are bad thats your choice. if you want to believe there are some good ones, thats up to you too. me, i tell my kids ALL drugs are bad and have the potential to ruin your life, and i will not have ANYONE in my home or my or their lives while they live under my roof that does drugs.

sophiamarie2007

My lat4e husband was a heavy pot smoker-He started smoking alot in college, but still was able to maintain his GPA and graduate with honors. Throughout his first two jobs he smoked regularly and it definitely became a lifestyle. After he became more financially successful, he graduated to the "higher grade" pot-This was the death of him. He started smoking 5 or 6 times a day and overtime started exhibiting extreme irritability and impulsivity. I had heard for over a decade from him how pot isn't addictive and what a wonder drug it is. When he changed to a higher grade pot-overtime he became a different person. He also developed extreme night sweats when he didn't smoke enough and his body produces a terrible odor. He died from a self inflicted gunshot wound. Up until his graduation to higher grade pot he never showed signs of depression or any type of mental illness. I know many will say he must have other issues before than pot can never make you violent or psychotic-Many people assumed after his suicide that it must had been laced with other drugs. It wasn't. I do know that it changed his life, and ultimately destroyed it.