112 days off opiates and thinking about the pharmacy?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 2,258
112 days off opiates and thinking about the pharmacy?
Why all of a sudden today am I thinking how fun it would be to hit up the pharmacy, get me some pills and chill???? I have worked so hard to get where I am, and I know better that I could not just have that one script...help!
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 313
Remember all the pain and suffering you went thru to get where you're at now. You don't wanna take the chance of going thru that again, do you? I just read your recent post on another thread saying "we have a choice" or words to that effect. Sounds like you had a bite of PAWS there but I'm sure it will pass if you stay busy and focused on positive stuff. I wish I had 112 days! You have almost 4 months clean. That's freaking awesome!
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Oregon
Posts: 147
DON'T DO IT!! You are in that honeymoon period where you think just a couple won't hurt. But you know that it will. One prescription will lead you back down that road... and you know it!!! Be strong, please don't do it. It isn't worth it... your family, husband, child. Don't break that trust that you are working so hard to rebuild. You will get through this, just keep yourself busy and the craving will pass.
I have faith in you!!
I have faith in you!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 2,258
Thank you guys for taking the time to respond. I know calling the pharm is not an option, not only would I have to try to somehow sneak the money (my SO keeps control of all the finances and knows how much we have to the cent) so that would be too much work. And I have worked so hard to make it this long. I think I am just bored, and we have company visiting us from the USA, so they are always out celebrating and I am at home. When I got in bed last night I talked to my HP and was trying to analyze what is different now at 4 months. I think the biggest part of my feeling right now is I am finally ready to quit all substances, where before I would still have a glass of wine or 2 bottles of wine. So with saying goodbye to all any mind altering substance, has woken up that part of my brain again. I feel sad and scared to have to say no to drinking ( I enjoy drinking but do not like the way it makes me feel the next day) so I am now dealing with the new feelings again of sadness, fear etc. I appreciate all of your support.
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Iowa
Posts: 675
One pill did me in after many years of sobriety. I saw the prescription coming and internally got all excited - AFTER YEARS WITHOUT ANYTHING. The instant the pill took effect I was gone for 3 years. I threw away years of sobriety for 3 years of hell for one high. We are never safe - NEVER.
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Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 2,258
Another strong day of thinking about going to the pharmacy all day... So over this obsession that is slowly creeping back into my brain. For today I stayed clean because I don't want to lose my laugh again. I love laughing all the time. It feels good.
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Greensboro, NC
Posts: 683
Originally Posted by heyitsme 
DON'T DO IT!! You are in that honeymoon period where you think just a couple won't hurt. But you know that it will. One prescription will lead you back down that road... and you know it!!! Be strong, please don't do it. It isn't worth it... your family, husband, child. Don't break that trust that you are working so hard to rebuild. You will get through this, just keep yourself busy and the craving will pass.
I have faith in you!!
I have faith in you!!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Georgia
Posts: 242
Icandoit - You are so right about the laugh. I did not realize how little I laughed until I finally got truly clean 18 months ago. I have trouble even telling a story sometimes now because my laughter takes over. This never happened while I was using. And, laughter is a huge release valve for stress.
Keep that "pharmacy voice" at bay. We call get it. I hear the voice as well, although it gets less and less, even 18 months later.
Keep posting!
Keep that "pharmacy voice" at bay. We call get it. I hear the voice as well, although it gets less and less, even 18 months later.
Keep posting!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 132
icandoit - Ivan's right. Biggest lie we could ever buy into thinking we can have 1 pill. It's a lie. You have been through hell and made it back. Powerful woman. Remember that. I have learned that at 1 month, 6 months, and probably at 1 year there will be times when the brain will try to trick me. Work the same tools you did in the beginning. Life is good and will just get better. There will be down times but visualize where you want to be and the only way to get there is Clean.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Posts: 2,258
I am feeling very proud of myself today, at work this morning a coteacher asked if I wanted a pill! He knows I used to like them a lot, and doesn
t know the extent of my addiction. He does know I quit!!! However still asked me. can you believe that???? Addicts want company.
t know the extent of my addiction. He does know I quit!!! However still asked me. can you believe that???? Addicts want company.
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Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 25
Originally Posted by icandoit12
I am feeling very proud of myself today, at work this morning a coteacher asked if I wanted a pill! He knows I used to like them a lot, and doesn
t know the extent of my addiction. He does know I quit!!! However still asked me. can you believe that???? Addicts want company.
t know the extent of my addiction. He does know I quit!!! However still asked me. can you believe that???? Addicts want company.
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