Tinkerbell22

Hi I'm new to this forum, just found it tonight.

I detoxed off of 0.5mgs of Lorazepam after 5 month of taking it at bedtime only, on Sept. 13th. no taper at a detox center. I am wondering if it was a terrible mistake after reading some of the posts on here, and wondering why they didn't taper me?! I had no idea the withdrawls would be like this at all! I didn't know anything about the drug when I was put on it for panic attacks and never checked to see what the withdrawls would be like. This has been a complete shock and my absolute worst nightmare!

I am having major sleeping issues, a bit of anxiousness, crying spells, feeling very achey, red faced off and on during the day, feeling very cold off and on during the day and super depressed off and on.

The major issue is the not sleeping! It's been about 44 days since the withdrawls have started and my sleep is just getting worse and worse. I go several days with no sleep, then 2 hours of sleep, then several days with no sleep.

When will the sleeping get better?

Should I have tapered slower or tried going over to valium. I worry that if I were to go onto the valium or go back on the lorazepam to taper, that I am just prolonging the inevitable. Is tapering really better, or will the last little bit of what ever I went back on do this very same thing to me that is happening now?

I am getting so desperate for sleep I am getting scary thoughts, took an Ambien CR last night which I didn't want to do, but was sooo desperate for sleep I caved and am going to do it again tonight. Sleep deprivation is a breaking point for me.

I have read that everything I'm feeling can last for months and months, especially the sleeping problem, god I hope not, I wont make it.

Any advice? I'm scared.

dizzydolphin

Hi tinker, welcome to SR. I'm not familiar with lorezapam (benzo). But from what I've read of other people, they say to go to your doctor and let him or her know what's going on right away.

I'm sure some one with experience will be by to help you out. Just wanted to welcome you.

Tinkerbell22

Thank you.

Taking5

Valium (aka diazepam) and lorezepam are both benzos. This would be like an alcoholic wondering "Should I switch from bourbon to vodka?".

You can get hooked on Ambien too:
Zolpidem - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

What you really need IMHO is to go see a Dr that has a background in addictions, and explain to him/her what your goals are.

Good luck.

Tinkerbell22

Thank you DizzyDolphin.

Hi dgillz,

Thank you for your response and the information. My goal is to get off the Lorazepam and not have any dependancy on any sleeping medication. I just don't know how to do that without loosing my mind for lack of sleep.

tanja

Tinker,

Any reputable doctor would tell you to taper slowly off the medication. God bless you - I cannot imagine going 44 days without sleep. Have you tried a warm bath, warm milk and snack before bed?

Take care of yourself.

Tinkerbell22

Hi Tanja,

That's what I've been reading and hearing here.... I have no idea why they didn't taper me, although seems they didn't taper anyone from the benzodiazapines there, which I don't get.

I have tried pretty much everything. I did decide to start letting my body sleep when it wants to instead of trying to stick to a schedule. I will see how it goes, and am keeping my fingers crossed.

Thank you.

Evelyn122

Man tinkerbell22 , I'm feeling the same way you are iv tooken larazepam for a month 5mg 30 tab and I feel really horrible everyday ever since I stopped like 1 week ago and I'm afraid it might be like this forever. I have a lot of side affects and I feel alone because everybody is getting annoyed with me I'm trying to be strong

chained

Evelyn,
I promise this feeling won't last forever. Benzo WD is REALLY hard. I have heard from many many people that it is a normal occurrence to feel like you are going to die due to anxiety and lack of sleep. I have never seen it last in anyone. However, I do recommend seeing a psychiatrist that specializes in addictions. They may be able to help you out with your symptoms without relying on anything addictive. As a side note, Ambien is processed in your brain like a Benzo, so your doctor may think about a different sleep aid. There are plenty of great ones out there that don't mess with your detox.
Remember...this is only temporary. You will get through this. Benzo detox typically takes longer than the others. Be patient with yourself and your body.
Go find that addictions psychiatrist.
Keep us posted

Dee74

Welcome Evelyn
You'll find a lot of support here, but like others have said here in this thread, I recommend speaking with your Dr

D

MemphisBlues

I have found that doctors well versed in benzo withdrawal will switch a user from their present benzo to Valium as it is the longest acting benzo there is and then taper the Valium slowly.

It is not like switching from bourbon to whiskey. The Valium is then tapered slowly following a strict regime.

going cold turkey from even a low dose of a benzo can be difficult for many, but is entirely possible to only have withdrawal symptoms for a few months.

This is on area of recovery where the Internet can provide solid information, such as benzo.org or benzobuddies.org. Even Wikipedia has some solid, though frightening, information on benzo withdrawal.

Tinkerbell22

Hi Evelyn,


I am so sorry to hear this!

This is just a nightmare that wont end.

I joined Benzobuddies and have found out a ton of infomation on this whole process. I highly recommend going there it has saved my life. I am Tink on there if you want to find me. I have mad a lot of friends and a great support group there, which is really helping me get through this.

Everyone has pretty much abandoned me. I have been going through this for 3 1/2 months now. It's been pretty rough and scary.

Be careful what you eat, drink and take in so far as over the counter meds, herbal remedies and medications. The can all make your withdrawal symptoms way worse I have found. And it is advised to stay away from anything that works off of Gaba receptors so that you can let them heal.

Even green tea, passion flower, Melatonin, 5htp, valarian and anything stimulating, can mess with your system right now.


I hope your recovery is swift. Look for me on Benzobuddies.

Thank you for responding.

Tink

Tinkerbell22

Well it has been 5 1/2 months since the doctor cold turkeyed me off of Ativan 0.5mg once a day.

I am still having many withdrawal symptoms and life is still a day by day struggle.

I did manage to finally be able to use seroquel at 12.5 mg and it is helping with sleep and a few of the w/d sxs.

But I am still in w/d hell.

I know consider myself in protracted w/d and wonder if this will ever end.

I wish I would never have believed the psych doc that Ativan would be okay long term. I wish I could sue both her and the doctor who sent me to detox.

I will now forever be dealing with benzo health limitations and issues.

woops

Hiya
I have done this.
Gone from 1 mg per day to nothing - did it by using the Ashton Manual and the help on benzobuddies.
I know the hell you are going through. People who say that going from ativan to valium is like going from gin to vodka - simply do not know what they are talking about - believe me.
Valium has a long 1/2 life - and it leads to a very gently reduction and withdrawal. I know I have done it.
Take heart - join benzobuddies - lots of people from the USA and Canada and UK and Europe................ .5 mg of ativan can be swapped over to 5 mg of valium and gently reduced - you will have little or no side effects.
Read Prof Ashton - she is world authority..........
Take heart - there is a safe and painless way.......... Prof Heather Ashton and benzobuddies - dont delay.
woops x

istherehope999

Am going thru the exact same thing....benzo withdrawal is an unbelievable hell. I had a doc tell me he'd never known any problems coming off Ativan. ha! Famous last words. I will be praying for you. I tapered too quick in an attempt to just be done with it all, and sleep has been rough for me too.

Tinkerbell22

Thank you for responding.

Hi Woops,

I have been off Ativan do to my doctor cold turkeying me. So cannot go back on, I'm to far out. I found benzo buddies many months ago and it has been god send. Have made many friends which I am so grateful for.

Hi istherehope,

I'm sorry you are having so many troubles as well. I hope it gets better for you. Benzo Buddies is a wonderful forum for benzo people, I highly recommend them.

Thank so much,
Tink

NoWhereGirl

Benzo WD's are no joke. Sleep deprivation is no joke either, though and that sound like utter hell, you poor thing.

However, Ambien is scary too aka the "Devil's Aspirin". I don't blame you for not wanting to take it! It usually causes more problems than it solves, IMO. I had a very bad reaction to it and after I did some research, found I was not alone. It was like I was a different person who had no control or memory of what I was doing, saying, thinking, much less why I was acting the way I was. It scared the crap out of my poor husband right before our wedding when I took it to finally get some sleep. Never again.

Anyway, I too recommend speaking to a professional and trying herbals or anything else that doesn't have the side effects of that stuff. There are ways to taper the right way that will allow you to even out and get back to normal eventually, just hang in there and take care of yourself and let your body readjust under the care of someone who knows how to do this. You've gone through a lot so things are bound to be wonky for awhile, but it does get better and it does get easier, but try to get some help doing it. I know what it's like to feel alone and abandoned, I think most of us here do, and it's hard and scary to do alone! You need some support; this is a good start so keep it up, hang in there and good luck hon. You're in good company here *hugs*

Tinkerbell22

Thank you so much.

I have just moved and have found a new doctor who seems nice, and am going to a new psychiatrist here soon.


So I should be in good hands.

As I mentioned, I am to far out to reinstate and taper. I could cause a way worsening of symtoms and I just don't want to go there again.

This is just hell. I wish I never would have taken it.

NoWhereGirl

Good for you! A good caring understanding doctor (or two, or three) can make all the difference in the world, it sure did for me. I remember the day I met mine, I broke down and cried like a baby all the way home because finally, someone "got it" and understood, didn't judge me and was going to help me through it. It was like a miracle that probably saved my life.

It can be hell. I too wish I hadn't done some (if not all) of the things I did, or that I'd have thought of the consequences of my actions before it was too late to turn back while I still could. I'm not sure I'd have listened if anyone told me though, at the time. I had to do it on my own, but I can say that I'm still here and grateful for it and know now that I can do better if I want to. Every day is a new day. I had to stop beating myself up for past failures and regrets and mis-steps, because that wasn't constructive to healing and getting better when all I did was make myself feel worse which just started the cycle all over again, like why bother? Letting go of the past and not giving up was one of the hardest and scariest things I ever had to do, and trust that things could and would get better if I just allowed them to, and was kind to myself in the process.

Tinkerbell22

Yeah, having a good support time is crucial.

I try to stay positive, however with so much going on and how this whole withdrawal thing is going, with being home bound due to this, it is very hard not to be sad all of the time.

This has been a long hard road, and is probably going to be a still longer yet road.

I am worried about my future and what kind of I will have after all of this.