NoWhereGirl

Benzo WD's are no joke. Sleep deprivation is no joke either, though and that sound like utter hell, you poor thing.

However, Ambien is scary too aka the "Devil's Aspirin". I don't blame you for not wanting to take it! It usually causes more problems than it solves, IMO. I had a very bad reaction to it and after I did some research, found I was not alone. It was like I was a different person who had no control or memory of what I was doing, saying, thinking, much less why I was acting the way I was. It scared the crap out of my poor husband right before our wedding when I took it to finally get some sleep. Never again.

Anyway, I too recommend speaking to a professional and trying herbals or anything else that doesn't have the side effects of that stuff. There are ways to taper the right way that will allow you to even out and get back to normal eventually, just hang in there and take care of yourself and let your body readjust under the care of someone who knows how to do this. You've gone through a lot so things are bound to be wonky for awhile, but it does get better and it does get easier, but try to get some help doing it. I know what it's like to feel alone and abandoned, I think most of us here do, and it's hard and scary to do alone! You need some support; this is a good start so keep it up, hang in there and good luck hon. You're in good company here *hugs*