themerkin

I know that I need to quit, I have been struggling with that thought for a long time now, the little voice in the back of my head says to quit, however there is another voice that tells me to take another pill.

I quit drinking about 3 years ago and switched to pain killers. Long story short, I have to take about 400mg of oxycodone to get high. I am tired of this lifestyle. I lie to my wife and would rather take pills than spend time with my children. I literally have missed the last year due to my pill habit. I plan my days around taking pills. I have tried quitting but the devil always win.

I have not told anyone about my problem. I want to try and kick this on my own.

Background: I was hospitalized due to severe back issues, and was prescribed oxycodone, soma, and valium for the pain. I no longer take soma or valium, but have continued my love for oxycodone. It started with 5mg percs and now I am prescribed ninety 20mg oxycontin per month and gabapentin. Let's just say I blow through my oc in about a week. I then have to score more pills just to get through to my next dr visit.

I want to quit but I love the way the pills make me feel. I am superman, I can do anything! Yes it does mask the back pain, but I would rather deal with the back pain than the opiate addiction. I am scared to tell anyone about my problem, I am grateful that I found this website.

I took my last oxycontin Saturday night, however I took some vicodins this morning. Very sad/scary as I took 100mg of vicodins and I don't feel a damn thing.

I am tired of this lifestyle.

Thank you for listening.

Spawn

to the family