robobrain

When I found Soberrecovery.com, I was in a desperate and lonely place. I was a dry drunk, procrastinating on my 4th step. I was miserable everyday and ungrateful because I was 25, single, and had lost my license.

At that point in my life, I imagined what it might be like to just evaporate because I was in a cesspool of self-pity and despair. I was just about ready to submerge myself in a bottle of rum, when at a meeting I was essentially called out on my own foolish thoughts.

I came to the realization that I didn't really have it so bad and I was only suffering because I let myself believe that I was suffering.

Now I'm working on my 9th step, keeping up with the program, and people around me are commenting on the difference. All I needed to do was work for it and stop wallowing.

Spawn

tabfan

"Wallowing....."

Hmmmm.......

From time to time, I can get that way. I never really thought of it as "imaginery" - as in: "all in my head!" But, then, again, the big book DOES say "our thoughts have the power to actually KILL in a very real way" or something to that affect. That's powerful stuff! My own self-esteem takes a dump now and again, but when that happens, I usually ask God to help me back on my feet and to please bless me with the abiltiy to become teachable again, instead of doing whatever it is my little heart wants to do!

But, then, again, sometimes I will just wallow in the _ _ _ _ until I get damn good and tired of it and do something about it!

least

Then: a sad event would send me to the bottle.

Now: I know, in my head and my heart, that drinking won't make it any better, only worse.