Rancorous

I had an interesting conversation with my friend yesterday. She was talking to me about how my family treats me like i'm ******** and incapable of doing things on my own. Anyway, we got to talking about my current diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome and how we both think its a misdiagnosis. It seems to be the "new thing" to diagnose people with when a therapist doesn't really know what to do with someone. I found something she mentioned particularly interesting, she said she thinks I have problems with disassociation and given my past, it makes a hell of a lot more sense.

From what i've gathered disassociation is:

-Feeling "spaced out"
-Feeling like everything is a dream
-Feeling out of control of one's actions or movements
-Feeling of detachment from one's own body/self

Any thoughts?

decenda

disassociation is associated with a lot of anxiety disorders...

if you want to chat with some others who have experienced it, I like anxietyzone.com

GingerM

I would recommend you read this book:

http://www.pow ells.com/biblio/1-9780679772897-3

(remove the space between the 'pow' and the 'ells' to make the link work)

It has a lot of insight into Asperger's (and Autism in general) which may help you figure out whether or not you really think you fit into that category. Temple has kept the book fairly updated with each reprinting, so although it was written some number of years ago, she revises it with each print run and it has fairly recent information in it.

DesertEyes

This link works

Powell's Books - Thinking in Pictures: And Other Reports from My Life with Autism by Temple Grandin

Mike

GiveLove

I love Temple Grandin. She just makes so much sense.

Good luck with all of this, rancorous.

francesca

I've never heard of this symptom in particular, but it's interesting because it's definitely something I feel when I'm very anxious. Do you feel this constantly or only during certain times?

Rancorous

Only during certain times, the spacing out has been a problem as long as I can remember, I have a lot of blank space in my memories, but i'm noticing it more and its more of a problem when i'm working because i'm supposed to keep track of a register. I've noticed it gets worse as the store gets busier and I have episodes of some kind that can last a few minutes to a more extended period of time. I do tend to not talk to people of my own volition, however, I do understand the consequences of my actions.

francesca

I'm afraid I don't have any advice, but I've definitely experienced similar things. Short term memory problems are associated with depression as far as I understand it. I haven't had anything like that for quite a while, but I went through one very bad episode of anxiety/depression and my memory was terrible -- I was always having to retrace my steps to find things that I'd put down and forgotten to pick up again. I was quite frightened by it. My spacial awareness became really bad too, I couldn't quite work out where my limbs were going! For me it was definitely associated with intensely stressful circumstances.

Rancorous

That definately sounds like things i've been dealing with. I have problems with paranoia as well. >_<

Ananda

I'm new on this thread area....I have had problems with disassociation throughout my life, and stress definately triggerrs it. I develped it as a survival skill in childhood and my mind still knows how to do it. Not comfortable sharing any more....I just made the decision to look at my ACOA issues again.

thanks.

splendra

I can totally relate. I have been pulling myself back in for a number of years. I had a very fearful childhood. I had to look at my demons squarely. It was scary but not nearly as scary as running from it.

I have an "autistic" nephew I think he is misdiagnosed. I think it is hell to live with his mom and he needs to disassociate in order to handle living with her. Of course my family prefers the "autistic" label I may be wrong but I don't know.

Rancorous

Thats exactly what I think has happened to me, my family is in utter denial of the problems within it so they prefer the "autistic" label with me. My mom usually tries to go in and talk to people for me, i've just now been able to talk for myself. To be honest, the test would probably have any person come out autistic because they do things like ask about your hobbies and stuff and I suppose not answering is the "right" answer, its one of those things to check and see if you have obsessive interests, I think in my case its unfair since obsessively reading and playing video games and things like that were an escapist thing I did, still fall into that pattern from time to time even with work. I think its mostly a catagory people get put into these days when nobody knows exactly what to do with them. In fact, i've been to a doctor and discussed what i've been experiencing they have put me in that catagory since I first posted. I'm not really big on labels, but I think its critical and important that I recieve the appropriate help.

MelinaArt

I have had experiences with dissociation. At its most mild, it's just an experience of "fogginess" of the brain. At its most extreme, it manifests as multiple personalities. But that's obviously rare, worst case scenario. For me, the worst it has ever been was one time I dipped so deep into a daydream that I blacked out, I don't know for how long. But suddenly I came to and was very shocked to find that I didn't know where I was. During that time I was dealing with a lot of very heavy stuff in therapy, and sometimes progress makes things temporarily worse. I haven't had an experience like that in a long time.

Eleison

I also dissociate. I too had to 'shut out' my feelings and keep myself separate from what was going on around me whilst I was growing up.
With the help of therapy I'm more able to track what's happening and hold my feelings and thoughts - sometimes this is delayed, after 'the event', but it is improving.
Dissociation tends to serve a purpose for surviving with the original troubles, but passes it's 'use by date' and causes distress in the present even when it's trying to help.

Ananda

mine was on the severe side when i was young and was pretty bad when i was in therapy...it seems to not be a problem often today.

When it was bad it was very scary and embarrasing....I'm glad I ahd a councelor to help me through it.

If it returns with any severity I will for sure get some help from a therapist cause it is very life disturbing.

CC8

maybe it's ADHD or ADD? it does sound like you are subcosciously or otherwise responding to your environment. I don't know how old you are but I think doctors can tell fairly early on if a child is autistic.

I also started having a hard time remembering things and felt foggy. Think it was mostly because of being overloaded at work but was so counter to my personality to do that that it worried me. It also started happening right after my aunt accussed me of being a liar about a particular family situation (had to do an intervention and confront her husband. Not fun). She's been in denial but her accussing me really affected me somehow.

I definitely think we (I) underestimate how life can affect us. We're humans and really respond like an animal under stress sometimes.

Good luck. I'd suggest getting a better therapist/doctor!

fluer

Rancorous-You seem bright and discerning about yourself and others. Disassociation is actually a very common and likely affteraffect of any persons subjected to traumatic events(especially children). If your childhood was "less than perfect" and you were subjected to some form of abuse(s) ,your body most likely created for you the ability to escape what was happening menatlly.

There is tons of information on this. Dissociative Identity Disorder is the formal term, and was originally referred to as MPD(multiple personality disorder). The labels for these things can sound scary or even freakish..don't let that stop you from looking into things.

Basically if bad things happened to you, your mind started breaking things off into different parts so that you could survive the event(s),as well help you function on any normal level afterward.It's a good thing actually.It helps protect the most precious parts of you.