mooselips

Hi all,
ACOA here.

Last evening Mr. Moose and I went out with another couple to a concert.
We have known the couple for a long time. I worked with the wife, and she has been married to this wonderful fellow for 4 years. It is her 4th husband.

So...I already know they are both drinkers, him...beer...never seen him drunk. Her B&B straight, and pain pills right now, continuously in a fog. She recently had 4 back surgeries and will have one more in January, because of the continuing pain, inability to walk, and some nerve impingement.

Anyway, other than her being soused and needing plenty of help..(she's using a walker and they transported her to her seat via wheelchair...the concert was great. I did help her to get up to the bathroom 3 X. One time was for her to smoke a cigarette.

The whole insight help I need, is:
It seems to me, that ALL the couples we are friends with...drink.
We are social drinkers, an occasional beer or drink now and then, but really need to drink to have a good time.

Does anyone else have this occurring in their lives?

Not that I really mind, mind you, unless they overindulge....

Is it me?
I am NOT kidding. We do not know ONE couple that does NOT drink to excess.

Thanks,
Insights, please.

GiveLove

Moose,

Similar situation here. We were noticing the same last night (no better time to observe drinking habits than new years' eve, other than St. Paddy's day....)

I watched my feelings about the matter, and this is what I came up with for ME anyway: I don't mind at all if people drink, unless they get obnoxious and/or helpless because they do not know their limits (or don't care). What I can't handle as well are people who NEED to drink in order to have a good time, who literally can't have fun without it. And you can kinda tell who those people are, usually. We tend to limit our exposure to those chemical-dependents, having had quite enough of that when I was growing up with drunks/addicts. I don't enjoy it.

For example, it's difficult for me to be around people who are in a chemical fog, like with your friend last night. Too many triggers, too many subconscious alarms going off. I don't think I would handle that with the grace you seem to have about it....I think it's great that you can detach that well and still enjoy their company. You are much further along in your recovery than I am though, so perhaps I will catch up one day

Very much case-by-case....we do have some friends who hardly drink at all, so there's a bit of balance there.

Happy 2008 to you & Mr. Moose!

Growing

"Is it me?
I am NOT kidding. We do not know ONE couple that does NOT drink to excess."

I know that, as an ACOA, I guess at what normal is.

It sounds like there is some "discomfort" you are experiencing from the above quote but I could be wrong.

As ACOA's we struggle with our "pickers" like the thread in F&F because we grew up with these behaviors being "normal".

So, the above quote of yours is food for thought....

Good to see you here in ACOA.

frstnm

for me I noticed that when I quit drinking that I had to stop hanging around people who drank all the time and at bars - it is too difficult
enough trips to a barber shop a haircut....blah blahblah