Here I am again.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 341
Here I am again.
Hello friends.
I was alone all Thanksgiving, alone the day after and am alone tonight.
The reason I am here is I had and only have a large, large very active group of current drinking friends.
Every day, my phone goes off. Sometimes at 7am while at work. I tell each and every one of them separately please do not ask me to come out tonight. Tonightm they are all sitting at the same bar ganging up on me.
I even went as far as to say "Don't you all realize the cops are out everywhere?" and "I don't need another DUI, thanks".
The group is still texting me. "Why won't you come out?" and even "Jeez, you only live a mile away from the bar".
I am getting one text per hour. Yes, I was that alcoholic that took all the attention away from everyone else because I was always the fall-down drunk. I don't know how rude I need to be or how many times I need to say no.
Also, my phone has to be on because my grandmother is sick. They don't care.
My carrier allows blocking on 5 numbers. I have more people than that bothering me right now. Actions speak louder than words and I thought me sitting home for the past 30 weekends would prove that. How do I get these (non) friends to stop? I even wrote about this a while back on the forum. They just won't quit. They all have each other and are drunk so why are they bothering me??
I was alone all Thanksgiving, alone the day after and am alone tonight.
The reason I am here is I had and only have a large, large very active group of current drinking friends.
Every day, my phone goes off. Sometimes at 7am while at work. I tell each and every one of them separately please do not ask me to come out tonight. Tonightm they are all sitting at the same bar ganging up on me.
I even went as far as to say "Don't you all realize the cops are out everywhere?" and "I don't need another DUI, thanks".
The group is still texting me. "Why won't you come out?" and even "Jeez, you only live a mile away from the bar".
I am getting one text per hour. Yes, I was that alcoholic that took all the attention away from everyone else because I was always the fall-down drunk. I don't know how rude I need to be or how many times I need to say no.
Also, my phone has to be on because my grandmother is sick. They don't care.
My carrier allows blocking on 5 numbers. I have more people than that bothering me right now. Actions speak louder than words and I thought me sitting home for the past 30 weekends would prove that. How do I get these (non) friends to stop? I even wrote about this a while back on the forum. They just won't quit. They all have each other and are drunk so why are they bothering me??
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 341
Thank you. I am not replying and am still getting texts so I am turning my phone off.
Sadly, I called my mother and told her if there is an emergency she will have to drive to my house.
They are not friends. They are never there for me and never call unless it's time to drink. I think I am more angry that I have absolutely no other friends in life.
Sadly, I called my mother and told her if there is an emergency she will have to drive to my house.
They are not friends. They are never there for me and never call unless it's time to drink. I think I am more angry that I have absolutely no other friends in life.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: East Coast
Posts: 1,235
I'm so sorry that you were alone on Thanksgiving, but it sounds like you made some right choices this holiday, especially in regards to your family. I wish I could send you a slice of homemade pumpkin pie for you and your daughter, but I'm afraid it would really mess up your postbox.
Onto the practical matter: If this problem persists, could you change your phone number? It would be a minor PITA, but you'd get to select then who you'd want to remain in touch with. The trick is to make sure that only people who are trustworthy enough get the actual number.
Hugs to you.
Onto the practical matter: If this problem persists, could you change your phone number? It would be a minor PITA, but you'd get to select then who you'd want to remain in touch with. The trick is to make sure that only people who are trustworthy enough get the actual number.
Hugs to you.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Ma
Posts: 3,553
I had a very similar experience.
Had to make new friends.
The local bar is within walking distance of my residence.
Now I walk my dog by there and it's mostly new faces.
Occasionally I see a familiar face that has the same old story.
Where did you disappear to, and did you hear so and so died?
It's strange, but time stands still for people that are still on the drink.
Part of the curse I guess.
I like Puzzled idea. Maybe you could get a Trac phone and put some time on it, for family use only.
Thanks for coming here and sharing. It's nice to see you're resolved in your sobriety.
Had to make new friends.
The local bar is within walking distance of my residence.
Now I walk my dog by there and it's mostly new faces.
Occasionally I see a familiar face that has the same old story.
Where did you disappear to, and did you hear so and so died?
It's strange, but time stands still for people that are still on the drink.
Part of the curse I guess.
I like Puzzled idea. Maybe you could get a Trac phone and put some time on it, for family use only.
Thanks for coming here and sharing. It's nice to see you're resolved in your sobriety.
12 Step Recovered Alcoholic
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 6,613
I have got a couple of million friends, I just have not met them all yet. They are all sober though.
I had a similar experience with some "friends" when I stopped. They tried and tried to pull me back in with them. Why?, Well, if I drank with them and like them, and I had to stop, and could stop, how are they gonna feel about their own drinking? If they can pull me back in, they can feel better about their own drinking. It is an insidious type of denial.
I had a similar experience with some "friends" when I stopped. They tried and tried to pull me back in with them. Why?, Well, if I drank with them and like them, and I had to stop, and could stop, how are they gonna feel about their own drinking? If they can pull me back in, they can feel better about their own drinking. It is an insidious type of denial.
Member
Join Date: May 2015
Location: USA
Posts: 740
I think one of the most difficult things about quitting isn't really the quitting part, but the life changes that are needed to stay quit. That includes changing your circle of friends, among other major changes. Stay with it, blueyes. I really believe it's worth the work.
Delfin
Delfin
Member
Join Date: Nov 2015
Posts: 214
This may not be your thing but what worked the best for me was changing my entire life and priorities. I started going to church every week and talking to the lord whenever I needed strength. That and long walks! Seriously it worked. God bless you!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Sonoran Desert & Southeast Asia
Posts: 6,561
I may have missed this but have to ask. Have you told them you're not drinking anymore? Not just that you're "taking a break" or don't want a DUI.. but that you've decided to quit permanently?
If you have said it, then lose them - they're not friends. If you haven't, well no wonder they keep asking you to come out and play. Just curious. I found most folks respected my decision once I communicated it clearly.
If you have said it, then lose them - they're not friends. If you haven't, well no wonder they keep asking you to come out and play. Just curious. I found most folks respected my decision once I communicated it clearly.
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