New Here, Getting SERIOUS this time.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 9
New Here, Getting SERIOUS this time.
Hey everyone. This is my first post, Ive been stalking the boards all day reading though and This place feels like a great way to help keep me accountable and has a real sense of community.
A little about me:
Im 28 and the mother to 2 precious kids (6.5 and 8 months). Newly remarried last month to a wonderful man who genuinely makes me happy. I have always assumed that my drinking was because I was unhappy or something was missing from my life, but the fact that I have relapsed hard this past month makes that assumption pretty invalid. I have been a problem drinker, that very quickly turned into an alcoholic, since I was 17. Never drank while pregnant with either of my children, so it is possible for me to just stop cold turkey...Why is it so hard to stay that way? UGH. Well its day 4 on this journey of sobriety for me yet again. My daughter is too old now and completely understands when "mom isnt acting right". I dont want to cause her any future problems or add to them (although i have to say, she is an incredibly well adjusted,smart,happy kid from all i see). I also would be subject to my Ex husbands wrath if he found out about my relapse. We share a 4day/3day a week custody arrangement , so it would not take long for the cat to be out of the bag. AA around here is not something I can do, based upon availability times and my work schedule. I am committed to recovery, So in addition in returning to church, and creating a more formal structure in my home, I wanted to join this community for added support. Thank you all for being here to help through this process!
A little about me:
Im 28 and the mother to 2 precious kids (6.5 and 8 months). Newly remarried last month to a wonderful man who genuinely makes me happy. I have always assumed that my drinking was because I was unhappy or something was missing from my life, but the fact that I have relapsed hard this past month makes that assumption pretty invalid. I have been a problem drinker, that very quickly turned into an alcoholic, since I was 17. Never drank while pregnant with either of my children, so it is possible for me to just stop cold turkey...Why is it so hard to stay that way? UGH. Well its day 4 on this journey of sobriety for me yet again. My daughter is too old now and completely understands when "mom isnt acting right". I dont want to cause her any future problems or add to them (although i have to say, she is an incredibly well adjusted,smart,happy kid from all i see). I also would be subject to my Ex husbands wrath if he found out about my relapse. We share a 4day/3day a week custody arrangement , so it would not take long for the cat to be out of the bag. AA around here is not something I can do, based upon availability times and my work schedule. I am committed to recovery, So in addition in returning to church, and creating a more formal structure in my home, I wanted to join this community for added support. Thank you all for being here to help through this process!
Last edited by CP1987; 07-28-2015 at 01:41 PM. Reason: new title
I hope the awesome support here can help you stay sober for good. 
Member
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 13
I'm not going to AA either, just couldn't connect with the ideas. I have this site, but what has been invaluable to me has been a book by Alen Carr called something like How to Control Your Drinking. It's amazing, it kind of brainwashes you into not wanting a drink. Maybe that would be worth a try.
Well done you. Keep on keeping on. Xxx
Well done you. Keep on keeping on. Xxx
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 9
Thank you
Witchy , Oddly enough I started a weightloss pill (on doctors orders) and one of the side effects for me is no desire for alcohol. Ive only been using it for 5 days, so it might wear off, but i couldnt ask for a better jump start then that! On the other side of things, it does make me a little weary of when i get off the medication in mid august for the urge to come back strong and feel like day one all over again. That is another reason im trying to grow a strong foundation now.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Athens, Georgia
Posts: 962
When I 'crossed that line' I no longer controlled my drinking ... my drinking controlled me. I am now FREE, and for me it took working the steps of AA, and letting the steps WORK in me.
cp1987, a suggestion that has worked wonderfully for me, in addition to the Sober Recovery community - do some Web Searches for Recovery Speaker messages.
RDBplus3 ... Happy, Joyous and FREE
cp1987, a suggestion that has worked wonderfully for me, in addition to the Sober Recovery community - do some Web Searches for Recovery Speaker messages.
RDBplus3 ... Happy, Joyous and FREE
Forum Leader
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 16,945
Welcome CP, you'll definitely find a lot of support here. You mention you cannot find AA meetings that fit your schedule...there are lots of online AA meetings out there and there are also SR meetings in our own chatroom - check either of them out if you would like some real-time "virtual" meeting support too.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2015
Posts: 9
11 days now 
I really feel great. Ive been working out a couple times a day (lost 10 lbs) I have been a lot more open with my husband and our communication is improving. I have always been a closed book when it comes to anything emotional, I'm just not a big talker. However since really trying to change my habits Ive taken the time to be purposefully emotionally available. It has done wonders so far, I feel ridiculous for keeping it all locked up. Anyway thats whats new this week, Hope everything is well with everyone else.
I really feel great. Ive been working out a couple times a day (lost 10 lbs) I have been a lot more open with my husband and our communication is improving. I have always been a closed book when it comes to anything emotional, I'm just not a big talker. However since really trying to change my habits Ive taken the time to be purposefully emotionally available. It has done wonders so far, I feel ridiculous for keeping it all locked up. Anyway thats whats new this week, Hope everything is well with everyone else.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: WA
Posts: 891
Thanks for sharing, keep it up. Many here have found invaluable support on this forum. There is always someone willing to listen around the clock.
You are doing great, just enjoy your sober time. I found the first month to be difficult but I got through it "one moment at a time". I tried before to sober up for my kids, my relationship, my career etc but in the end I decided to do it just for myself and been sober nearly 3 years. Its worth it and being completely dry is a blessing. My relationship with my family and especially my kids is vastly better than it was.
You are doing great, just enjoy your sober time. I found the first month to be difficult but I got through it "one moment at a time". I tried before to sober up for my kids, my relationship, my career etc but in the end I decided to do it just for myself and been sober nearly 3 years. Its worth it and being completely dry is a blessing. My relationship with my family and especially my kids is vastly better than it was.
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