Mountainmanbob

I still remember when I couldn't go two hours without a drink.

And I hope that I will never forget.

How about you ?

MM

ScottFromWI

I was somehow able to get through my work shift without drinking, but once 5 pm hit there was never a time when my BAC dropped below that blurry level. Weekends started a couple hours after waking up. What a horrible thing that was.

least

I would usually wake up around 3 am and be in withdrawal. I'd have to drink to get back to 'sleep' and if there was no more wine I'd pace the house until the store opened in the morning. So glad those days are gone.

Sudz No More

By the end I was watching the clock to get to my lunch break at work and drinking two in my car. I had a few close calls in those last few years doing that, I also remember the nice glares I would get from the bartenders at the places I would frequent for lunch when I didn't bring my own in my car. What a loser I looked like to those people walking in there at 11:30 to chug a 20 ounce draft in 25 minutes and then run to make it back to work in time. I knew it looked bad but I was so hooked I just didn't care and the personal payoff when I felt the alcohol coursing through my veins made the embarrassment seem insignificant. But it was foolish and I felt like one I just let my addiction render me numb to my own idiocy. I'm lucky I never got busted doing that.

NikTes

I'd wake up, wash my face, and pour a glass of wine. Couldn't see myself being able to cope with the day any other way. So glad that is behind me!

Mountainmanbob

I remember once while at work I stopped at a liquor store at around 7 AM in the morning. Think I bought a 12 pack of Bud. The store owner looked me in the eye and asked, "are you sure that you need that ?" It made me mad at the time. Now as I look back I see where he took notice of what I was blind to.

MM

bigsombrero

When I was still employed, I also managed to stay off the booze during work hours. But I'd feel pretty dazed until about noon thanks to the drinking the night before, and I'd be out of my chair like a rocket to hit the liquor store at 5pm. During my darkest days, I was unemployed and my body would jolt awake at 7am. I'd run to the fridge and make myself a vodka-and-whatever. If I didn't have that morning drink, I'd be shaking like a leaf by mid-morning.

Very happy we don't have those problems now, eh MountainManBob? Sure is easier to wake up hangover-free, turn on the coffee, relax and ease ourselves into our morning routines.

Mountainmanbob

So very grateful that today we are not slaves to the liquid devil.
MM

MIRecovery

My bottom was I could not make it 8 hours without drinking so I had to have a couple of ounces in the morning. One day apparently the couple of ounces was not enough and I withdrew at work. I could have died. My heart was beating out of my chest and I was sick like nothing I ever experienced. vomit beyond vomit. They wheeled me out in my office in my chair because I was too weak to walk and took me to the emergency room. Although I still drank after, acute withdrawal was the beginning of the end

thomas11

I was going to share specifics, but I remember how scared and disgusted I was with myself and decided against it. It was a six week period about 14 months ago.
The withdrawals for me were terrifying. I kind of compare it to my body and mind being a 10 piece band and they are all playing a different song, very noisy, out of tune and sounds like sh*t. Then you get that first stiff drink in your gut and the body becomes and orchestra, everything is better...for awhile.

MIRecovery

Funny or tragic but it is interesting to find out who on SR are the late stage alcoholics. I think all of us know just how serious this battle that we fight is

esinger

I don't know. I don't want to forget that my habit was the over the top and very destructive to myself and all involved. I also don't find it healthy rehashing all the minute gory details constantly. It definitely was not a pride filled time in my life and my ego took enough of a beating. Yesterday was yesterday, I try to enjoy the present and learn everyday to provide for a for a better tomorrow.

gaffo

I used to go shopping in the early morning "when it isn't so crowded". I would buy my daily allotment of beer at that time. I didn't start drinking it until noon. East coast time. I live on the West coast. Of course I couldn't make any meaningful plans for the evening. I'd be too messed up to drive by noon.

Soberwolf

I do remember Bob, horrible times

Agreed so glad im not a slave to the devil in the bottle

PurpleKnight

Freedom is a great feeling Bob!!

Fly N Buy

Remembering where we came from sure is important! I hear from others who relapsed they perhaps had prejudices against their memory working properly when it came to alcohol.

I would start in afternoon and go till I crashed the last couple of years. Sad way to live.

Today I am on the right track, and very grateful for the grace of sobriety!

Boleo

At the peak of my drinking I kept a flask in the shower just in case I had the shakes and was in a hurry to get ready for work.

Even at 5 months dry in rehab I was still fantasying about my next drink at least a hundred times a day.

It was only as a result of having a Spiritual Awakening that I could get alcohol both out of my body and out of my head.

zjw

in the end I was only drinking after work or on weekends after my chores where done I new if i started any sooner I wouldnt stop and nothing would get accomplished.

But the waters got murky in the end. I started to not always stick to the above rules. I started needing a drink at noon. somedays i couldnt wait till the 5 oclock whistle and was cracking them open at 3. Some mornings i'd wake up just wishing i could have a drink rather then log into work. Some days I would. I started to think at this point that I /might/ have a problem. Then came the panic attacks etc.. it really just got worse and worse.

I was a prisoner and a slave to the bottle.

MelindaFlowers

I was the same as Scott. I've never had a drink before 5 pm but was drunk every single night starting at five and ending in pass out/blackout.

Just out of silly curiosity, I wonder what someone's (my) BAC level was after 14 drinks in 6 hours?

neferkamichael

For the first 35 or so years of my drinking career I was functional. I would take a shower in the morning and a bath every evening, but as addiction started getting the upper hand, there were times when I couldn't remember the last time I had changed clothes let alone take a bath. There was a 2 or more year period of time when I wouldn't even buy trash bags. I'm willing to bet that at any time there was 50 beer cans and 50 rum bottles on the floor. You would have to kick them outta the way to move around, disgusting.