You ever get sober for someone other than yourself?
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 245
I did it 5% for myself, 95% for my daughter. She was only 2 at the time. I knew if I didn't stop I was eventually going to hurt her in some way, and she had done nothing to deserve it. I'm all she has in the world. Anyway, I've cleared a year and a half so far, so seems to have "worked" for me.
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Join Date: May 2014
Location: liverpool, england
Posts: 1,707
Originally Posted by jdooner 
I rationalized not being an alcoholic and an addict by what worldly possessions I didn't loose. But I was suicidal with ideation almost daily. I had lost my soul and did not want to face the music.
In a way Desy, I feel we all get to the same spot, some loose people and things too but in the end we all need to get to the bottom inside of us where we say enough is enough.
To the OP, I rationalized my disease/disorder by comparing to others around me. This kept me active for longer than needed. There will always be someone worse and better to compare, its a trap I fell into. In the end when I realized thatI had lost me that is all I needed to begin.
By releasing my wife from the manipulative behaviors and my jaded delusion of control, our marriage is growing again. I find this just one of the many paradoxes in life.
Good luck.
In a way Desy, I feel we all get to the same spot, some loose people and things too but in the end we all need to get to the bottom inside of us where we say enough is enough.
To the OP, I rationalized my disease/disorder by comparing to others around me. This kept me active for longer than needed. There will always be someone worse and better to compare, its a trap I fell into. In the end when I realized thatI had lost me that is all I needed to begin.
By releasing my wife from the manipulative behaviors and my jaded delusion of control, our marriage is growing again. I find this just one of the many paradoxes in life.
Good luck.
as my first try with aa was just 18 but i didnt listen and i thought i was way to young as my problem was the trouble i was getting into while i was drunk
i next came into aa with a trail of destruction behind me and i was beaten as i couldnt carry on like that i was a loony on the drink and i l am so lucky i never killed anyone in a drunken state
so i came in at just 23 and not picking up that first drink to me ment i wouldnt wake up in a police cell ever again or that my home would not be full of me on a drunken rampage etc
so i had my wife and we had 3 kids back then
i stuck around aa for about 3 years i did the steps but never worked them, i leaned all the right things to say in aa meetings so i could sound like an aa show off but i never ment anything other than i dont want to pick up that first drink
i could quote the aa book backwards on my journey to impress people
but i wasnt living a sober life i was still selfish and greedy and wanted everything my own way
but i grew in aa at such a young age and things did work for me i got a job was earning big money and i cut down on aa
i left aa after 3 years as i didnt need them anymore and i working most days and life was far better than it once was
but then 15 years later i picked up that first drink again putting it all to the test
and just 8 short years i managed to lose it all drinking 24 / 7 to cope with life
so i can id with people in aa at most levels as i to had i lot when i first came in but i didnt listen and didnt do the right things and i ended up even 15 years later in a worse state than ever before
but then thats only what aa tells us all will happen
hence i will never cut aa out of my life again i will sit back and watch others do it and fear for them as they might make the same mistake i did
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 3,359
Listen to this link JT I think you may find it useful as it touches on "waking up" vs. staying "asleep" and getting your toys back.
Anthony de Mello - Awareness pt.1 on waking up - YouTube
Anthony de Mello - Awareness pt.1 on waking up - YouTube
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Join Date: Jul 2013
Posts: 3,359
Originally Posted by AudreyH
I know Im doing this not only for myself, but my kids and my husband. Without them I would be lost.
Without this (meaning sobriety) you won't have your husband and kids.
This of course assumes that alcohol is an addiction. If it is then it will steal form you everything you hold dear. That is not a scare tactic but my own truth as it relates to me. I don't mean to project, as I am doing above only to make a statement. I know this is truth to me but wanted to risk projecting on you to see if it fits for you. If not - sorry and no offense meant.
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 14
It could be a potential, I don't ever want it to get that bad and there is only so much really a person can take. My kids deserve a sober Mom, my husband deserves a sober wife. Why push a loving relationship and put strain on it if you don't have to. He is very wonderful and supportive of me and my trying to quit, but I would never want to push the theory as he thinks of the kids well being as well. Im not sure Im making sense or just rambling.
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Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 14
Originally Posted by jdooner
You don't need to loose everything. You have it going on. That might be why your on this board looking for help now?
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Join Date: May 2014
Location: liverpool, england
Posts: 1,707
Originally Posted by AudreyH
No, that's why Im here.
as sure as eggs are eggs if your an alcoholic like me the future drinking booze is a dark one
but without the booze things will get better
one thing that i should point out for me is that not only did i need to get off the booze and stay off the booze i also needed to change me as a person
this is the thing i never went to aa for as i went with a drink problem but later on i found out that my problem was me and how selfish a person i was etc
but it took me 2 years of going to aa meeting before i had to face me as a person
i only wish i could put the drink down and everything in my life would be ok but i found out over time that drink might of been my problem in terms of the immediate troubles i would be getting into but looking deeper into why i was like that was a huge thing that i was blind to seeing about me.
so i can only wish you luck on your own journey i dont know how i would of got off the booze in my state i was in without aa but maybe i could of ?
but one thing i do know is i couldnt change me on my own i needed the help and guidance of people wiser than me who have been through it all themselves and come out the other end
Member
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Christchurch
Posts: 451
I did it for my marriage, I don't have any children. My husband confronted me about my drinking when I spent a week on holiday with him either drunk or hungover. He was working overseas last year and would come home for 2 weeks every couple of months. I was drinking on my own after work while he was away and thought I was hiding it but he knew all along. Once I had a few sober months under my belt I realised what a horrible existence I had been living. Now my sobriety is very much for me and I protect it at all costs. All the best.xxxx
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