GibsonGirl

Hi everyone...not sure I'm in the right place but somewhere here it said just to find somewhere and post. I've tried a couple of chat rooms but the conversations are so intense between just a couple of people that I feel ignored and find that is not the best place for me to be right now. If anyone has any suggestions for that, I'd appreciate it. I'm in a very rural community where there are no f2f meetings. The closest one is 70 miles away and I'm too sick to even think of going.

I'm on day 4 sober from a serious Vicodin addiction (15 years off and on). I'm dope sick and coming off of a recent 3 month "binge" due to surgery in December. I've been looking, and finding, every excuse to get more and more and taking a full 30 pill prescription in just 3 or 4 days. I've even started to doctor shop and will often arrive too early at the pharmacy and suffer the shame of being told I have to wait. Yes, I know thats bad, I know it and thats why I'm trying to hold tough this time and stick it out.
:praying

So, I want my life back and am seriously detoxing and suffering tremendously. This is what I"m doing for spring break! Yeah!

Iv'e got a ZILLION triggers surrounding me that I have to deal with and haven't. Lots of bubble baths, warm blankets, and advil. I'm hiding in shame and secrecy from the world.

Just wanted to get my feet wet! Thanks for listening.

Stagebear

You're in the right place. Hang tight. You know what the w/d is going to be like and that it gets better.
You've been doing this for years...when do you plan to stop and stay stopped? If it's now...you have arrived at a place where there's help.
My suggestion is that you keep posting here for the time being, as long as it takes.

Nallabelle

Congrats. You are on day 4 so its all down hill from here physically. Eliminate any triggers you can. If you cant get to NA then coming here will help. And believe me, you havent done anything that someone else on here hasnt done. And alot of people have done alot more to be ashamed of. Im a pregnant addict and I just quit myself. Does that make you feel a little better?

Shellslove

Just wanted to say you've found the right place and welcome to SR =) Just about all of us here know the depths of he!! you are in right now, but as Belle and Bear have pointed out...hang tough! You will be turning that corner sooner than you think, and the other side is much brighter (w/less anxiety attacks and more body temperature stability, yay!) Look, clearly you know the drill and have been dealing with this for a long time...but you wouldn't have posted here if you weren't desperate to find help. If you're ready to come down off the cliff, there are alot of people here who can support you...you still have to go through it...but it's much easier when you know you have caring people around to listen and understand. I know how slowly time is passing right now, so try spending some here....look around the substance abuse forum and you should find some great advice and stories you can relate to...then post any questions you might have!!

Latte

Oh I've been there. Welcome, you are not alone.

It gets better, it really does. Take it one minute at a time.