Life After Methadone
X IV
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Northern CA
Posts: 6,365
Life After Methadone
I just want to say it can be done. I was on methadone for 2 1/2 years and with the help of a lot of people, the twelve steps, and a Higher Power I got off and didn't relapse. It has been an amazing journey.
I have been clean and sober for 943 days and off methadone for 90 days.
I go to 12 step meetings every single day no matter what. I have a Higher Power and a support group of people who know me well. I post here at SR everyday. I do the deal that is suggested in meetings and my life has changed and continues to change profoundly.
I am no longer hopeless. I have utilities. I have peace and serenity through even seemingly "tragic" events. Situations which used to baffle me I now know how to handle. I can tell you with all honesty that I got that doing the 12 steps as suggested by a person who had done them.
I am really excited that I get to share this here at SR. When I first got off the methadone and I thought I was going to die.... I was to sick to go out to mtg's and the people here helped me pull through that very hard time.
Yea for sober recovery and a special thanks to Blake and (((((((((((((Eddie))))))))))))))))))))).
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So I guess it can be done. I have been clean for 22 days and also on methadone, I hate saying i am clean but still on it. I thought I would have to take a pill for the rest of my life! I cant believe how long u have made it! 
I am very proud of u! Someday, I'll be just like u I hope.
I am very proud of u! Someday, I'll be just like u I hope.
No expectations!
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,732
You are oh-so-welcome, (((((L)))))!! THANK YOU for sharing your journey here!! And you have UTILITIES!!
Love and hugs always,
Eddie
Here is a link to lbadeker's 60 day thread.
Love and hugs always,
Eddie
Here is a link to lbadeker's 60 day thread.
X IV
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Northern CA
Posts: 6,365
Hey Alicia!
Yes, it can be done! I know how you feel about the being clean thing while on methadone. What I can tell you is that for me methadone was a prescribed medication given to me by a Dr. who knew my history. In the very begining for about a month I was on a super high dose and I felt loaded. I don't count that as clean time. After that I was never on a high dose. I never got high on it. I never cheated by asking for a higher dose than was needed and that counts as clean time. I was only at 30 mg's then down to 20 then off. It can be hard to talk about in mtg's because a lot of people who don't understand and who are not Dr's have opinions. If you are persistant like I was you can find a sponsor who doesn't have an opinion about prescribed medications. Also a sponsor who is supportive of you and your Dr's deciscions.
Keep up the good work Alicia! You are doing what is best for you and your baby!!! You can do it and lots of people are willing to help. I found so much support here. I know you can too!
Special thank you to Eddie for linking my long A*S threads. Thanks Eddie!
Yes, it can be done! I know how you feel about the being clean thing while on methadone. What I can tell you is that for me methadone was a prescribed medication given to me by a Dr. who knew my history. In the very begining for about a month I was on a super high dose and I felt loaded. I don't count that as clean time. After that I was never on a high dose. I never got high on it. I never cheated by asking for a higher dose than was needed and that counts as clean time. I was only at 30 mg's then down to 20 then off. It can be hard to talk about in mtg's because a lot of people who don't understand and who are not Dr's have opinions. If you are persistant like I was you can find a sponsor who doesn't have an opinion about prescribed medications. Also a sponsor who is supportive of you and your Dr's deciscions.
Keep up the good work Alicia! You are doing what is best for you and your baby!!!
You can do it and lots of people are willing to help. I found so much support here. I know you can too! Special thank you to Eddie for linking my long A*S threads.
Thanks Eddie!
NA Rocks!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Location Location
Posts: 517
Wow! What a wonderful post to read this morning! Congratulations, lbadeker!!! You've worked so hard, come so far, and truly dedicated yourself to the process. I'm so happy for you! And I agree with you about the 12-steps being a HUGE support system. I love my NA family and don't know where I'd be without them. Thank you for sharing your journey, too, in your 60-day thread. I've read it consistently and look forward to reading more.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: Little Island in the Atlantic Ocean
Posts: 57
Your story is just so amazing L. Others will draw strength from your success. Your triumph over addiction is the hard evidence that so many of us who are still struggling need to hear. Keep posting your happy thoughts and congrats a million times over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!
X IV
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Northern CA
Posts: 6,365
Good Afternoon!
I hope you got to go tan Eddie! I went this morning and had coffee w/one of my coffee buddies and then we went to the used record store and then I went to a noon mtg! Phew!
The girls are with Matt. So I am at home now playing on the computer. I am looking up pictures of ankle tattoo's. I already have one on each ankle (both are pretty much the same, see below) but I am going to talk to the tattoo guy on Thursday about another one. I want a very thin chain that looks exactly like a real anklet would look. It is going to be a present to myself. 
Well I am going to go back to searching for a picture of the exact chain I want.
Thanks to everyone for all the kind posts! I will see you later.
I hope you got to go tan Eddie! I went this morning and had coffee w/one of my coffee buddies and then we went to the used record store and then I went to a noon mtg! Phew!
The girls are with Matt. So I am at home now playing on the computer. I am looking up pictures of ankle tattoo's. I already have one on each ankle (both are pretty much the same, see below) but I am going to talk to the tattoo guy on Thursday about another one.
I want a very thin chain that looks exactly like a real anklet would look. It is going to be a present to myself. Well I am going to go back to searching for a picture of the exact chain I want.
Thanks to everyone for all the kind posts! I will see you later.
No expectations!
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,732
Originally Posted by lbadeker
It is going to be a present to myself.
Find any good used records? I did go tan. Now I need to, excuse me, "get to" go feed the horde. lol. Post another pic when you find that tattoo.
Love and hugs,
Eddie
No expectations!
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,732
Hmmm...I don't know for sure, but the one place may have told you no because of the possibility of melasma (see below), which is worsened by sun exposure. That's the only reason I can think of that they would say you shouldn't tan while pregnant.
Love and hugs,
Eddie
(from WebMD) definition of melasma—A condition in which pigmentation of the cheeks of the face darkens into tan or brown patches. This condition occurs in half of all women during pregnancy
Eddie
X IV
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Northern CA
Posts: 6,365
Good Morning! Hi Everyone and thanks again for all the super nice posts!
I slept well last night. I am on a roll right now as far as sleep goes. I am a little afraid of jinxing it so maybe I sould not talk about that anymore.
Eddie, I found a picture of pretty close to what I wanted but it is copyrighted and I can't print it. My tattoo guy has a computer so I will just show him. When I tried to right click on the picture a box opened up saying "functions disabled" lol oh well.
I am working on my expungment today. Doing the footwork. I get to call the detective in charge of my probation because well......... anyway, there is a felony on there that I was never actually aressted for or charged with so I need his help.
I am also going to go to Kaiser and pick up my papers that say I am HIV and HEP free! I don't really need them but I just want to see it in writting. Is that wierd?
I am also going to go meet with a sponsee and then go to my old home group for a noon mtg.
I am grateful that right now I don't have to work. That I get to stay home and take care of the girl and myself. My life is full of grace.
I hope everyone has a good, fantastic, wonderful day filled with grace.
PS: Eddie, interesting new avitar? Does it represent something?
I slept well last night. I am on a roll right now as far as sleep goes. I am a little afraid of jinxing it so maybe I sould not talk about that anymore.
Eddie, I found a picture of pretty close to what I wanted but it is copyrighted and I can't print it. My tattoo guy has a computer so I will just show him. When I tried to right click on the picture a box opened up saying "functions disabled" lol oh well.
I am working on my expungment today. Doing the footwork. I get to call the detective in charge of my probation because well......... anyway, there is a felony on there that I was never actually aressted for or charged with so I need his help.
I am also going to go to Kaiser and pick up my papers that say I am HIV and HEP free! I don't really need them but I just want to see it in writting.
Is that wierd? I am also going to go meet with a sponsee and then go to my old home group for a noon mtg.
I am grateful that right now I don't have to work. That I get to stay home and take care of the girl and myself.
My life is full of grace. I hope everyone has a good, fantastic, wonderful day filled with grace.
PS: Eddie, interesting new avitar? Does it represent something?
X IV
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Northern CA
Posts: 6,365
Good Morning!
I went to bed really early last night so I am up early but I slept well.
Eddie how was your therapy? I hope it went well.
I like your avitar it just looks sad.....
I went to Kaiser and picked up my lab results. I really consider it a gift from HP that I didn't ened up w/ HEP or HIV. I am glad Eddie that you didn't think it was wierd that I wanted to see the results in writing. It also helps me in the sex and using departments. Looking at those results as a gift I don't intend upon shi**ing all over. I really intend on protecting that gift.
Today I am going to a noon meeting and then to talk to the tattoo guy about my new tattoo. Also to talk to him about covering up one on my thigh that this mean guy did while I was really really messed up. It is a cool tattoo but the memories everytime I look at it bug me.
I talked to the detective yesterday. He came over to my new house to see my DOJ papers. He is going to help me figure out why the stuff that shouldn't be there is there. He is also going to check out a leering neighbor who has been freaking me and the kids out. It is wierd to be friends with a cop! lol It is also very cool because he saw me at my absolute worst. In the house, sick in jail etc etc. He was very excited about how great my life is going. It was very exciting for me to get to show off.
Well I guess that's all for now. I hope everyone has a stupendous day. I will check in later.
I went to bed really early last night so I am up early but I slept well.
Eddie how was your therapy? I hope it went well.
I like your avitar it just looks sad.....
I went to Kaiser and picked up my lab results. I really consider it a gift from HP that I didn't ened up w/ HEP or HIV. I am glad Eddie that you didn't think it was wierd that I wanted to see the results in writing. It also helps me in the sex and using departments. Looking at those results as a gift I don't intend upon shi**ing all over. I really intend on protecting that gift.
Today I am going to a noon meeting and then to talk to the tattoo guy about my new tattoo. Also to talk to him about covering up one on my thigh that this mean guy did while I was really really messed up. It is a cool tattoo but the memories everytime I look at it bug me.
I talked to the detective yesterday. He came over to my new house to see my DOJ papers. He is going to help me figure out why the stuff that shouldn't be there is there. He is also going to check out a leering neighbor who has been freaking me and the kids out. It is wierd to be friends with a cop! lol It is also very cool because he saw me at my absolute worst. In the house, sick in jail etc etc. He was very excited about how great my life is going. It was very exciting for me to get to show off.
Well I guess that's all for now. I hope everyone has a stupendous day. I will check in later.
No expectations!
Join Date: Apr 2004
Posts: 8,732
That is really cool about the detective. I fortunately had no encounters with the law until I was already three months clean. I had a sit-down with an SBI agent and a Board of Pharmacy investigator and my attorney. Very civil and not unpleasant really. Now my Board hearing is another story. I think I've said what that was like. 
Have to go get ready for that interview now. Enjoy your tattoo visit!!
Love and hugs,
Eddie
Have to go get ready for that interview now. Enjoy your tattoo visit!!
Love and hugs,
Eddie
X IV
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Northern CA
Posts: 6,365
Hi Everyone!
I had a good day today. It was busy but fun. I got my new tattoo!! Picture below. He is not completly done yet but most of it is done. On the other side there will be a cross hanging down. I was to picky about how I wanted the cross done so he said to come back tomorrow cause I was getting anxiety about it. lol
Anyway I am happy.
Matt was excited about it and that I was suprised by. I thought he would think "oh man, not another one!" He said, "COOL!" He also gave me a dresser that he got from his grandmother's things when she died. I was really touched that he gave me something of his Grandma's. He really loved her a lot!!! It is solid maple with a neat mirror and little drawers on top. I love it a lot!!!!
I felt guilty about my kids today and that was not good. I felt like I don't know how to be the best Mom I could be. Matt said "Maybe you should go to ACA." He thinks being raised by my drunkard Mom has a lot to do with my feelings of inadequacy as a mother myself. He also said, " What's new, you ALWAYS feel guilty about something L" AGHH! Can you guys believe he said that kind of stuff about me, to me! lol I know he's right. He wasn't being mean or anything. Actually he was very sweet and kind to me and sometimes that is harder than indifference. Ya know?
I am mucho wond up tonight! To much Matt to much getting poked w/needle..... Also I didn't got to my night mtg... I went to noon though.
After I get done here I am going to go make some tea and do some journaling.
Eddie, How did your interview go? Anything else exciting happpen today? How is the kitty? And your hubby? Are you feeling all better yet? Hope so.
Ok I gotta settle down and get ready for bed. I will see you in the morning.
I had a good day today. It was busy but fun. I got my new tattoo!! Picture below. He is not completly done yet but most of it is done. On the other side there will be a cross hanging down. I was to picky about how I wanted the cross done so he said to come back tomorrow cause I was getting anxiety about it. lol
Anyway I am happy.Matt was excited about it and that I was suprised by. I thought he would think "oh man, not another one!" He said, "COOL!" He also gave me a dresser that he got from his grandmother's things when she died. I was really touched that he gave me something of his Grandma's. He really loved her a lot!!! It is solid maple with a neat mirror and little drawers on top. I love it a lot!!!!
I felt guilty about my kids today and that was not good. I felt like I don't know how to be the best Mom I could be. Matt said "Maybe you should go to ACA." He thinks being raised by my drunkard Mom has a lot to do with my feelings of inadequacy as a mother myself. He also said, " What's new, you ALWAYS feel guilty about something L" AGHH! Can you guys believe he said that kind of stuff about me, to me!
lol I know he's right. He wasn't being mean or anything. Actually he was very sweet and kind to me and sometimes that is harder than indifference. Ya know? I am mucho wond up tonight! To much Matt to much getting poked w/needle..... Also I didn't got to my night mtg... I went to noon though.
After I get done here I am going to go make some tea and do some journaling.
Eddie, How did your interview go? Anything else exciting happpen today? How is the kitty? And your hubby? Are you feeling all better yet? Hope so.
Ok I gotta settle down and get ready for bed. I will see you in the morning.
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