Canuckleman45

Good Morning. Starting my 8th day sober! Very happy about this, its going extremely well.........so far. My wife want to have a weekend getaway. We normally do this but it usually means wine, beer in restaurants, pubs, and hotel. Good idea so soon???? I don't want to hurt her feelings as she still drinks, and I feel i might fail.

Dee74

How much does your wife know of your struggle?
A weekend away need not be accompanied by alcohol if both parties agree.

You can make new traditions and new memories.

but...if it's going to be drinking business as usual then yeah I think it's too soon for you.

D

Canuckleman45

She knows everything

Dee74

then talk to her - raise the idea of a non drinking weekend

D

hpdw

Hi , these events are always risky so early on even for me at 77 days i'd be struggling to enjoy it even for one night never mind a whole weekend.
As Dee says "how much does your wife know of your struggle " .
Would she want you to drink knowing that you are now abstinent ?
It looks like you have 3 choices 1 she drinks you stay sober and have fun anyway 2 none of you drink and have fun anyway 3 both of you drink and you relapse which is not fun .
Something for you both to discuss ! Ask yourself will I/we be miserable if you don't drink and she drinks and if none of you can be happy both not drinking ?
How important is your 8 days ?
How important is a weekend boozing ?

I know i'ts not easy but if your committed to sobriety things need to change in many areas of your life .

Mountainmanbob

Would be nice if you wife did not drink around you -- at least until you understand your sobriety and what it takes to stay sober.

My wife removed her wine from the house for around 6 months. She did not wish to entice me.

M-Bob

Canuckleman45

Mountainman her drinking around me actually doesn't bother me one little bit. The first couple days she was being sneaky. HAHA she tried to be. I know all the tricks. She doesn't have a problem at all, maybe a glass of wine or 1-2 beer at night.

hpdw

My wife is the same , she has the odd drink if my daughter comes round or with my son if its nice outside but it doesn't bother me .
I went on holiday last year with 6 people and I was full of resentments and misery the whole time . Maybe one day i will be able to holiday sober and be content .

Mountainmanbob

That's good. Once we have made a (firm decision) to not drink again, it usually does not matter what ones around us are doing. But, that's not to say that today I hang out at bars. My wife also has her one glass of wine at night. Sometimes on the next morning when I'm doing the dishes I end up pouring out 1/3 of her glass that she didn't even finish. Interesting how normies drink -- usually not much. I truly never drank like that.

Good luck to you,
M-Bob

Canuckleman45

True. Probably would have finished off her glass while I was doing the dishes. Haha.

Anna

I like Dee's suggestion about new traditions and making new memories. I think that is the foundation for long-term recovery. Going away for a weekend is a great idea, but maybe incorporate hiking, sight-seeing and things that are not involving alcohol?