Nowsthetime

I wrote I scathing email to my father yesterday. He was an absentee dad. I have a daughter now and I always email him pictures and he never responds. My daughter's birthday was a month ago and of course I sent pics and he didn't respond. Well, that was what broke the camels back. I'm done. As soon as I sent the email I blocked him. Not that he would respond (he never does) but for peace of mind. I had never said anything to him so everything I had bottled up for almost 37 years came out.

I also have to do my first firing. I posted here about my promotion. It has been good but now I have to fire someone. It's part of my job.

This is all very stressful and tonight I have a party to go to. My daughter will be out of town with her grandma. This spells perfect storm for me but I am writing here to work my plan. I will be the DD tonight so that a deterrent. I have been thinking about drinking when I get home. The place is really close so AV also suggesting to leave car there if needed and uber it home...

No! I don't drink anymore. I don't like how it makes me feel and there's nothing that's worth drinking. If anything, all these stresses are worth NOT drinking.

The firing thing is really hard but I have to remember I am not doing this to the person. She did it by not doing her job. I just did mine by documenting and supervising her. Arghhh! It still blows...

PhoenixJ

yep- big time. BUT you are posting and not drinking and have put into place boundaries with your personal life. Awesome.

Dee74

Hows it going nowisthetime?

D

Alan6154

"The firing thing is really hard but I have to remember I am not doing this to the person. She did it by not doing her job. I just did mine by documenting and supervising her. Arghhh! It still blows..."

You have the right mindset on this. I have never fired anyone, they fire themselves.

Sorry about the dad thing, his loss. But the truth is parenting is just like everything else, some people are just no good at it... Being a great father to your daughter is the best revenge and pretty rewarding all on it's own.

Mattq2

Firing someone is never easy. In my position I have had to do it many times unfortunately. You must disconnect from it emotionally. Nothing about it is your fault.

CreativeThinker

Hey Nowsthetime- I like your name. Sorry you're going through a rough patch. You did the right thing by coming here and posting. I always feel so much better after I vent my feelings.

Firing people was really hard for me too and I can see how it would be a major trigger. It sucks, I know... but unfortunately it's a part of being a leader. You're doing the right thing by being fully prepared before the meeting with this person. If you're able to get some exercise in beforehand, do it. It will help to calm you and keep you centered during the conversation. Remember, you are not the blame, you are the communicator. Lastly, using The Golden Rule always helped me.

I'm sorry you're Dad isn't there for you. His loss! Unfortunately, we can't change people, we can only change ourselves...I'm still trying to learn that myself within my early sobriety.

Try not to be too hard on yourself. It's obvious that you are a caring person...otherwise these things wouldn't rattle you. I'm sure you will do just fine at your meeting. Just don't drink the night before!!!

JJ9

I like Alan's advice! Being a great father is super rewarding! Your dad missed out but you didn't. Good job!!

Sorry you had to fire someone but it's on them not you.

Nowsthetime

I am back. I didn't drink!!! I had a good time. My hubby and one friend stayed and I took a friend home and came to mine. Now I'm watching movies w my father inlaw who is spending the night.

My father in law almost died 2 years ago. I poste here about it. He's better now and we are very close. He had to quit drinking for health reasons and did. I am so proud of him. He used to be drinking buddies. Earlier I made him a cake from scratch. It was delicious!

So it almost 1am here but it's all good. My daughter is away so I can sleep in!!! I'm sober so no hangover.

Working plan is good. I though about drinking earlier but posted before. I encourage people to definitely do that!!!

Thanks everyone.

Dee74

great going

D