The ROI for Early Sobriety
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 937
The ROI for Early Sobriety
Tuesday will be 60 days since I began my "today I will not drink" commitment. Since my emotions and thoughts are still all over the map, I decided to start looking at a few externals to track my ROI on this life change ha ha.
Soberwolf (happy birthday!!) asked me to identify my personal goals, and the question helped me a lot to focus. Here's where I am at with the goals:
1. I have been offered a position making 40% more than my previous role which requires far less travel - and instead of sitting in a cube farm environment, I'll have a nice little office for a much smaller firm. This bump, salary -wise, means I will have accomplished my goal to be comfortably self-sufficient if I ever have to be, which even as a married woman I wanted to know I could do. I could never have accomplished this while actively drinking, because I would have been too anxious and living in a "drunk/healing from hangover/drunk" cycle - particularly because I am at home right now all the time.
2. I have been far more present and attentive with 16 year old son. He probably has mixed emotions himself about his mother's new lucidity, ha, but it's the right thing to do.
3. I have started down the path of volunteering for the YWCA and working with/for women, which is something I always cared about but never followed up on because of my drinking.
4. On a shallow note, skin looks brighter and I'm enjoying the walks with my beagle. I'll tweak my goals to include workouts at the gym next door to my new office three times a week (to dodge the traffic after work).
I've enjoyed watching lots of sci-fi/thriller type films while having my whole brain present. Music still sounds amazing - for some reason I thought without having that strong buzz I wouldn't be able to lose myself in it, but I still can do that just fine!
Yesterday I found myself in challenging/difficult conversations with both spouse and teenager, and I could feel stress levels and frustration rising, but instead of running for the bottle, I rode it out and took my beagle for a nice walk and by the evening, the stress had subsided and everyone was peaceful. Had I caved, I would have been drunk last night and kept right on fighting with spouse and today I'd be hungover, irritable and just a mess.
For those of you in the first week or two, please take that leap of FAITH in what some of these wise people here are telling you - even if it doesn't FEEL right to commit to "no drinking today!" when you wake up each morning, good things will and do happen when you make that decision every day over TIME.
Soberwolf (happy birthday!!) asked me to identify my personal goals, and the question helped me a lot to focus. Here's where I am at with the goals:
1. I have been offered a position making 40% more than my previous role which requires far less travel - and instead of sitting in a cube farm environment, I'll have a nice little office for a much smaller firm. This bump, salary -wise, means I will have accomplished my goal to be comfortably self-sufficient if I ever have to be, which even as a married woman I wanted to know I could do. I could never have accomplished this while actively drinking, because I would have been too anxious and living in a "drunk/healing from hangover/drunk" cycle - particularly because I am at home right now all the time.
2. I have been far more present and attentive with 16 year old son. He probably has mixed emotions himself about his mother's new lucidity, ha, but it's the right thing to do.
3. I have started down the path of volunteering for the YWCA and working with/for women, which is something I always cared about but never followed up on because of my drinking.
4. On a shallow note, skin looks brighter and I'm enjoying the walks with my beagle. I'll tweak my goals to include workouts at the gym next door to my new office three times a week (to dodge the traffic after work).
I've enjoyed watching lots of sci-fi/thriller type films while having my whole brain present. Music still sounds amazing - for some reason I thought without having that strong buzz I wouldn't be able to lose myself in it, but I still can do that just fine!
Yesterday I found myself in challenging/difficult conversations with both spouse and teenager, and I could feel stress levels and frustration rising, but instead of running for the bottle, I rode it out and took my beagle for a nice walk and by the evening, the stress had subsided and everyone was peaceful. Had I caved, I would have been drunk last night and kept right on fighting with spouse and today I'd be hungover, irritable and just a mess.
For those of you in the first week or two, please take that leap of FAITH in what some of these wise people here are telling you - even if it doesn't FEEL right to commit to "no drinking today!" when you wake up each morning, good things will and do happen when you make that decision every day over TIME.
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What an amazing post! I feel like a lot of time we tend to write about the hard times of sobriety and recovery and we neglect saying how many wonderful things come because of it 
Great job on 60 days sober, I'm so happy everything is going well for you! Congrats on the job opportunity, and while your 16 year old might get annoyed that you are more attentive, I am sure he is happy to see your healthy and able to be there for him when he needs you.
Great job on 60 days sober, I'm so happy everything is going well for you! Congrats on the job opportunity, and while your 16 year old might get annoyed that you are more attentive, I am sure he is happy to see your healthy and able to be there for him when he needs you.
Keep going, it gets better. Member
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 937
ha ha ha yes Fabela I was being a bit of a dork with the ROI thing but really, it is an investment of your time and energy to focus on doing things which don't feel natural at all during early sobriety - so I thought it may help me and also others who are early on to actually write out the return I am already seeing
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Join Date: Jul 2010
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Thanks so much to all of you - you have no idea what this site has meant to me every day. Some of you regular posters with longer term sobriety are really making an impact for the good on people here and I just wanted to call that out.
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Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: UK
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I enjoyed reading that. Going to the gym sounds like a nice way to avoid the rush hour traffic after work. I think once you get into the swing of it you'll enjoy it. I went to a spin cycle class today and it was fun.
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Yes baby steps Although I was a gym rat all through my 30s - but half the time I was starving myself and "saving my calories for wine" type of thing, so it wasn't as fun as it could be.
I know it's fun for women particularly to dream about how good we can look on the outside by choosing sobriety, but I am more interested in feeling good on the inside first. The first 30 days I ate lots of sugar and just basically did whatever the heck I had to just to NOT drink. The sugar cravings are dying down and my sleep is getting better, so it feels nice to get out and walk every day.
Hopefully I'll find a good class at that gym which is fun! But baby steps - most important thing is "I will not drink today".
Although I was a gym rat all through my 30s - but half the time I was starving myself and "saving my calories for wine" type of thing, so it wasn't as fun as it could be. I know it's fun for women particularly to dream about how good we can look on the outside by choosing sobriety, but I am more interested in feeling good on the inside first. The first 30 days I ate lots of sugar and just basically did whatever the heck I had to just to NOT drink. The sugar cravings are dying down and my sleep is getting better, so it feels nice to get out and walk every day.
Hopefully I'll find a good class at that gym which is fun! But baby steps - most important thing is "I will not drink today".
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