Orchid1

My new attempt! A few weeks back I had made it to 7 days, I did have strong cravings but when I looked at or even got a whiff of drink it just did not seem worth it. I was doing fine by way of extreme withdrawals except the bloating! My goodness that was rough! So when I completed day 7 I thought 'huh, its been a good week I should have a drink! Plus it will help with this bloating(don't know why I thought that)'. And so it has been 3 weeks of a bottle of wine almost everyday. I knew I had to stop, I was so proud during that week and I wanted it again. I don't make much money but I get by when nothing goes wrong, well this past week my phone broke, car brakes needed to be fixed, the owners of the house I rent a room were thinking of asking me to leave because they are older and have an at risk grandchild, I did not have the bonus of the stimulus check(u.s folks know what I speak of, I was in the group of delayed ones) and I have been fairly sick. Funny thing is because of the memory of those sober days I wanted more than anything to stop drinking which is different because my go to during stressful times is drink! It was encouraging. I spent a lot of years thinking drinking was the reward, now I need to change my thinking and realize for me it's a curse, so when I get to day 7, 20, 50 ,436... not think, 'yey for me! I should have a drink!'.
Hour 24 and counting!

Dee74

Welcome back Orchid
I think many of us have confused abstinence with control and found out they had no more control than they had last time they drank.


I really can't stress enough how effective it can be to post here before you drink.
Don't let the AV set the agenda - you can beat cravings and bad ideas.
D

nez

Congrats on 24 hours! Yeah I remember thinking of drinking as a reward...WTH was I thinking, my God what would a punishment be?

Today I reward myself by not drinking.Yeah things have been going good, I am going to celebrate by not drinking. Much more better!

Orchid1

Dee you are right, I really have no control. I am slowly coming to realize how in denial I have been!
Nez, uh I didnt even think about the punishment aspect, goodness what a warped reality I've been living in!
I don't know so much!