JadeSatellite

I'm thinking about it, but I'm not going to do it. I don't like thinking sneaky thoughts like that - buy it and hide it from my partner and roommate. These thoughts just butt in when I was doing well tonight. I know it's not taking that action that will help me kick the habit. But I don't like the anxiety of repeating those crappy ideas that I don't want to do, but my brain just keeps reverting back to any way to get booze.

neferkamichael

JadeSatellite, please don't do it, rooting for ya.

colagirl

I'm having some of those intrusive thoughts tonight too - the usual "you could just drink a bottle and no one would notice by morning". I'm trying to keep track of what feelings, thoughts, moments cause these thoughts so I can be better prepared for the next time.

Don't do it! But you already know that

DoubleBarrel

Coming here and sharing those thoughts is a great way to deal with it for starters.

Just remember what brought you here, and think about where that bottle will lead you.

JadeSatellite

Like I said, I'm not going to do it. I frankly am sick and tired of the bullsh*t that drinking has brought. I can't control it, so I am going to erase it from my life, and buying and drinking booze is not an option - at all. I just don't like feeling those feelings of craving and urges. They're so damn intrusive. Too bad there isn't an 'off' button.

colagirl

I'm constantly amazed when I look around at all the stupid, destructive, dangerous things that I do when I drink, and still find myself wanting to go out and do it again. It irritates me beyond words.

JadeSatellite

Oh my god, I know, it's just *stupid* to have this inanimate thing have such control, and even when you stay away from it, it has a hold on you still. It makes me wish I had never drank in the first place.

Sstryke

I hate these thoughts too but I find that talking about it helps!

colagirl

I know! Sometimes I go back to that first party in college and want to shake myself and say "don't do it, you have no idea what you're getting into!"

JadeSatellite

I started having a problem drinking when I was with an abusive partner. I was with them 5 years, and it got bad when I started drinking gallon jugs of wine just to forget, and so I would be passed out when she got home. It just got worse lately. It seems that a lot of stress brings on the urge to drink for me. Now *not* drinking causes stress.

colagirl

I used to think I could pinpoint the situations that caused me to drink. Now I think that I make any situation into an excuse to drink. Had a great day - ride the wave with some chardonnay. Had a terrible day - drown it in some chardonnay. Nervous about something - relax with some chardonnay.

I'm pretty sure Yellow Tail is about to go out of business.

wakko

The problem with that theory is that you cannot hide it from yourself. Every morning I have to wake up and look at myself in the mirror. I quit drinking for my job, my wife, my health the law but most importantly I quit for me. the only person I have to answer to today is me. If the person looking back at me knows that I'm sober today its going to be a good day