Makrellen

Hi
I was bingedrinking beer alone at home for maybe 4 years. Average 2-3 days every week, 25-40 beers per week. Some periods more.

Now I've been sober for about 40 days.

I sleep 12 hours every day.
Very tired, depressed, stressed out, headaches and the tinnitus is very loud and constant.
I feel like a zombie under pressure.
It's harder than ever to go out, so I isolate more than ever and cancel many things.
I have slowly pushed my old beer-friends and family away.
I try to repair some of it now, re-establish some connections.
But a big part of me really don't want to see them/anybody anymore.
The other part of me is screaming and crying for humanity, happiness, affection, connection.
But my old happy/social self is almost gone, or so it seems.
I cry a lot.

Is this normal in withdrawal from alcohol, even after so many days?
Will I feel better, or am I just actually back to the mental condition and reason why I drank (self-medication)?
Thank you for reading.

CreativeThinker

Hi Mak,

I'm still having those days that I isolate and I sleep a lot. Getting outside for walks helps. 40 days is awesome...keep at it.

ljc267

Congrats on 40 days.

I felt like **** at 40 days, so I understand how you feel. I would suggest taking it easy on yourself. Don't expect monumental gains all at once. Improvements will happen slowly, so be patient.

Try to incorporate exercise and meditation into your recovery. It helps with anxiety and will help with your mood.

Also, try setting goals for yourself that are small and attainable. Like today I will call or go see family/friend or I'll take a walk, etc.. Something new that you don't normally do. Growth takes time.

Shitzupuppy

I'm the same at about 2 1/2 weeks. I was so tired I've probably been awake only 12 hours in the past 36

Anna

I wonder if you've talked to your dr about the possibility of depression? If this continues, it might be something to think about. I hope you feel better soon.

soberclover

I believe it was common for me to feel this way because my body was healing physically and mentally from all that I had put it through all those years

bimbott

Hi Mak,

I haven't visited this site for a few weeks now, I hit 60 days sober yesterday. I came to check in and saw your post and thought, oh my goodness, this is what I was going to write! I feel almost exactly the same. So tired, depressed and feeling as though this is my reality and the reason I started drinking too much in the first place. I am really trying to hang on to the positives - and there are positives and I do not have a strong urge to start drinking again. I just feel flat, like I'm in some sort of holding pattern, not wanting to go backwards, but unable to move forward.

Bimb x

Carlito61

I am at about 2.5 months sober and I am sleeping a lot also. I probably sleep 12 hours on the three nights a week that I can do that. I would probably sleep that much every day if I could. I think the brain needs as much sleep as possible to help heal the damage that drinking does.

I am also dealing with that damn tinnitus. I didn't really notice it when I was drinking so I think it is new to me being sober. At first I thought it was just from my high blood pressure but that is not the case anymore. Mine is not loud and I only hear it when there is no background noise but I think it is always there.

My mood is not as good as I had hoped. About 15 years ago I quit drinking for about 5 months and had the "pink cloud" for most of that time. This time the "pink cloud" has not appeared so far but I really don't want it to, I guess.

For me, getting outside in the sunshine really helps with my mood since I live pretty far north and didn't get much sun in the winter and spring where I live. Denmark is probably the same?

Anyway, being sober is still a lot better than being drunk and I can't imagine any situation that will make me want to drink again. I can only trust that things will continue to get better for me the longer I stay sober and that being sober will allow me to better handle any adversity that I encounter.

Good job on your 40 days and don't get discouraged!

Makrellen

Thanks for responding.
I feel a bit better now. It's very unstable. Moodswings.
Watching movies that really grips me helps a bit with the suffering.
Like thriller or quality action like "Heat" or "The Fugitive" or "Apocalypse Now" or "There Will Be Blood". Or zombie movies like "28 Days Later" or "Dawn Of The Dead".
Dark/disturbing movies sure.. But they make me forget my own condition a bit and focus on something else.
I also try to watch some comic stuff. When I'm able to see fun in anything that is.
Reading books is impossible for me.

Makrellen

Maybe I'm a "dry drunk" at this time..
https://www.verywell.com/dry-drunk-syndrome-63281
And I will work on that

Carlito61

I never liked the term "dry drunk". I don't think it is an accurate (or helpful) description of anyone. PAWs, on the other hand, can explain a lot of things you go through in recovery.

ZenButterfly

It's only been 2 weeks for me but I'm feeling depressed and moody also, so you're in good company. Unfortunately I am not sleeping all that much.

Ananda

I'm with Ann ... if it persists talk to your doctor. I have meds for depression.

It is important not to go too far down with this without checking with a professional. Better to try a prescribed and reasonable anti-depressant and not drink.

It helps me to watch "black humor" to help me get out of a bad space. When all I can see is gloom and doom, the black humor sort of twists things to a better place. Laughter is healing. I always know I'm on my way out of that scary dark place when I start making very black jokes, especially about myself. I know that is counter-intuitive, but that is how it works for me.

don't worry about sleeping too much. It beats the crap out of drinking! Let us know how things go.

Dee74

Hi Makrellen - good to see you again but sorry you're low.

It took me about 90 days to start to feel good again.

I wonder, like Anna, tho if seeing your Dr might help??

D

Grymt

Don't worry. It will pass. In the meantime switch to happier movies or no movies at all. Try to get out anfd walk. Eat less fatty foods. Eat lighter foods like fruits and vegies. No additives. It'll help. Try meditating and getting some fresh air. Keep posting. Be happy.

D122y

Makr,

You are asking the right people the right question.

I could have written your post 1.8 years ago.

The mental healing takes a long long time.

Did I mention it takes a long time.

That is why folks give up and relapse.

Getting meds might help. I didn't use any because I would have lost my cool job if diagnosed as an alky.

But, I believe because my healing was so traumatic, I still suffer from a PTSD from that process.

I don't regret that though. The healing process was so hellacious that I am forever mentally traumatized regarding booze. It makes saying...no thanks...a bit easier.

The cool thing is...nobody knew/knows that I was suffering. I may have been a bit edgy and distracted, but since I never opened up to anyone, but SR folks...nobody was the wiser.

Now I am clean as a whistle and dealing with my life mentally pure.

I still crave...Friday is a big crave day, but I remember the hell I endured.

I vote buckle down, eat clean, do a bus load of push ups, sit ups, and squats. You will feel better all the way around.

The best advice I ever got from SR was....I gets better and better.

Thanks.

makeover

Well done on 40+ days...Your body is still healing...feel better soon

August252015

First, so glad you are here and posted! Good job on 40 days- that is an accomplishment lots don't make.

I have bolded the parts I have comments about, from my experience:
40 days is still very early.
Lots of emotions and physical symptoms are likely still working themselves out. I was a VERY heavy drinker for years, especially by the time I quit. I had a lot of healing to do and at 447 days- and a healthy body that runs 5Ks and works a demanding restaurant job- I STILL face fatigue and some things that could be just being 40 or the remnants of active drinking.
I have good drs with whom I am honest, and we have a good rx regimen that helps me stay on my good path. This includes anti-anxiety med, sleep aid (also has an anti-anx component), a low dose of an antidepressant and an anti-craving med. It all works for me and we adjust as necessary.

It gets better.

It really does.

At first, I was sleeping a LOT. Most of it was nightmares that turned to vivid dreams, then peaceful sleep. I took lots of naps and I still do, a lot of days.

I slowly reconnected with people- those I chose to have - still choose to have- in my life. My life is very full with people who are also trying to live their best lives. My social self is "back" - but it's actually different, because I do different (and so many more!) things than I did while drinking.

Not drinking, and being kind to ourselves, is critical, especially early on.

Are you working a program? AA has been my lifeline and recovery is my life. I work a very hard program, daily, with specific items on my "to do list".....and my life is pretty great.

If you stay sober, everything gets better- and the stuff that's not so good, you are better able to handle.

Hope to see you here.

Makrellen

Thanks for support and input.
I'm slowly getting better overall.
I visualize and accept that I'm digging (back + out + forward) to my "real self" and to humanity, and I embrace dealing with the problems, emotions etc. in a more real, honest and constructive way.

Makrellen

And boom, I'm back at misery..
Going to see my psych doctor soon, maybe change/adjust medication.