Mizzuno

Well... After a week of being seriously uncomfortable and not being able to sit on my hands or my feet any longer......I drank 2 glasses of wine. It is true. I do not feel good about this. The wine did nothing for me. I realized that it is not a answer or a solution that needs to fit into my equation of anything.
I do not think I have failed. I am not giving up on my sober time or anything that i have learned this far. I am still on this path. I let the stress of my life get the best of me and made a decision. I am choosing today to make a different decision.
Its a little shocking that 2 glasses of wine can cause a mild hangover. This discomfort alone is enough for me to commit to my decision to keep walking on this path.
I saw that i was on this cliff. I freaked out and thought that I couldn't remain sober. The truth about this is that i can remain sober. I did remain sober and I will continue to do so.

Mizzuno
( No bashing, no judging, no harsh words please)

Elisabeth888

No harsh words! I don't think you will get that here.

You have not failed unless you stop trying.

Alcoholism is so progressive. With every relapse that became more clear to me. If I put a drop of alcohol in my body, I am going to pay dearly for it through physical and mental consequences.

Keep posting!

Anna

Yes, the truth is that you can remain sober, and you can get through those uncomfortable moments. In fact, getting through those uncomfortable moments (or days) is the way to heal because it makes you stronger and gives you more confidence.

Why not make a plan of action for the next time it happens and be prepared? You got through a good week and you can get through another one now.

Sapling

Sounds like you learned something...Now you move forward with what you learned...That's what we do.

notsleeping

I can see how this can happen, i would love to have a couple right now. its not the end of the world, dont feel so bad. It could have been any of us and it might be tomorrow. The good thing is you didnt get trashed and do something really bad. That is my fear, for myself. Hang in there. We are all in the same boat.

Mizzuno

Drinking is just not the answer. I am still stressed with my life....Escrow, back issues, appointments, life, relocation adjustment..... etc etc. No, i didnt get trashed. I did however resort to old habits that do not work. The result is a hangover and not much satisfaction.
I was advised to seek out more support. I didn't. I jumped.



It is what it is. I am moving on.

mecanix

Mizzuno ,
Sound like you got a lot going on , remember to give yourself some free time to do something enjoyable in the time that drinking would have stolen from you and yours' .

New habbits are hard to learn,

Bestwishes, M

Weasel1966

Mizzuno.... I don't think you failed in any way. In fact you succeeded.

You succeeded in that you used your knowledge you gained to analyze it, put it ins place and move on.

We are right by your side here. Glad you are doing what's best.

(((Hugs)))

Ken

serious

no failure, not at all. a learning experience, if anything.

2 glasses of wine will do nothing for you. they won't help the craving, they won't make you feel better (probably not even much worse).
so what's the next logical step... drink more until you get buzzed and then even more to get drunk until you pass out?... i think we've tried that already.

Dee74

welcome back Mizzuno

D

bloss

Today is a new day to live your life sober, both accepting and getting through the good times and the difficult times. Just accepting the feelings, sounds so simple. But really just letting the feelings be and not trying to blot them out with alcohol has helped me recently. It is not always easy, but so necessary, in my opinion.
Take care of yourself!
Bloss

artsoul

The thing is, you turned it around right away - that's a huge positive! We're always a lot more judgmental towards ourselves than anyone else is.

If you know what led up to it (what made you "uncomfortable"), that can really help. For me, it was feeling stressed/overwhelmed all the time and just knowing that has helped me when it comes to making changes and finding solutions.

I went through a couple relapses myself and my sobriety is stronger now than it ever was before. Hang in there!

fallingtogether

Welcome again miz! Easy does it!

Rosiepetal

Just start again and keep trying, you have the right mindset.

Mizzuno

Removing something in your life that has always been there is hard. This bad relationship needed to die and I needed to find a more softer approach to my life........ 73 days in and I drank. I quit walking in sobriety for a night.

Everything that i said in the past is true to this day. I have been a problem drinker for as long as I can remember. I have been a social drinker, a drinker that drinks alone, a depressed drinker, a celebratory drinker, a no reason to drink but lets drink anyway drinker.

Last night, I felt like i couldnt breath....It was as if the abstinence was suffocating my mind. I was obsessed with the thought of not being able to remain sober. I was trying to escape and get out of my head.....It was a cycle of thinking that overwhelmed me. This is what i have always done. Dee was telling me to reach out for more support...Face to face. Everyone here was giving support and basically saying reach out...Do anything but drink. I didnt even allow enough time to turn that into a reality. This throwing in the towel when the s#it gets heavy is just not the way that i should be walking.

So, I stepped back but today i am walking forward. I need this to be a light experience and not something that weighs down my heart and mind.
I know myself well enough to say that even if I was in a program, I would have done the same thing. I had a week shy of 1 year and i drank. Same situation. This time I made it out of the haze much quicker.
This is my truth today. Baby steps into my new life of recovery.

freshstart57

Would you like to look into 'mindfulness', Mizzuno? The idea and practice is sort of a general case of a specific sort of technique that you might be familiar with. I recommend it. Reaching out to others for support that will always be there for you is another idea that is always worth the try.

I know you can do it, Mizzuno. Onward!

Mizzuno

Yes, alright. I will look into mindfulness. I have all these books on the subject that are collecting dust. The bookshelf needs a cleaning anyway.

I walked over to my bookshelf. The first book I pick up is "The Wisdom of No Escape" by Pema Chodron. ( the universe is sending a message)

backbeat

Hi Mizzuno

I second what everyone here has said... I have a feeling that maybe you're being too hard on yourself? That's just the way I interpreted your posts.

Sometimes a slip is part of the journey. For me, it has been. It strengthened my resolve.

Delilah1

It is hard, the nice thing is you can count on support on SR and make a new plan for the future. I am on day six after having many day ones. This time I am using AA, groups through my insurance, individual counseling, SR, and a few close friends. I figure I can use all of the support I can get.

You had a lot of time sober, and that is something to be really proud of. Good luck!

Toss

Hi Mizz,

Good job recognizing that going down the "tried" path did not work. Sounds like you pulled right out of it.

As much as I am enjoying my new found sobriety, I know the more days that pass, the more tempted I will be. It is stressful, grinding and tedious.

Let's just say I understand.

Toss