breaking the cycle, input welcome
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Great Falls, MT
Posts: 1
breaking the cycle, input welcome
As many of you probably know alcholisim for many is a cycl that starts in youth, I personally am one of these stories. (please excuse any typing errors lol)
From the first time I can remeber my household was one of both chemical and physical abuse, as both parents were heavy drinkers and fought constantly. As you can imagine the situation did not get better when they split only grew as strangers were added to the mix as they fit into the lifestyle both parents chose to live.
After many years and many, many horrible stories both my brother and I grew to become adults and start making choices on our own. To say the least as start athletes we both fit into all crowds including the party scene all through H.S., as we had always viewed drinking as a normal daily occurance and did not shame ourselves for drinking to much or the things we did while drinking. Both with scholorship offers to attend schools across the country, I chose to go to school and my brother chose to go to work. As with many young adults the both the temptaion and individuality of both lifestyles led to more drinking and eventually to both of us developing drinking problems on our own levles ( my brother a lot more functional then I).
As I began my college run as you might say, still finding success in athletics as I drank I never really understood that I had a problem, due to the holding up my end of my athletic responsibility (not what I was capeable of but just enough to keep scholorships etc...). Eventually the fighting and drinking caught up with me as I was asked to look for schooling elsewhere. So I did, however my problems just followed and just as I was ending my Junior year of college someone upstairs decided he let me try and figure it out on my own long enough.
The day I quit 10-13-2002: As with any alcoholic I have many entertaining stories, but at almost ten years sober this is the only one that matters to me from my past anymore. After a long two days of drinking sunday found me still drinking waiting for something exciting to happen so I could continue and finish the weekend in "style". As I sat in my house drinking, sleeping and then drinking alone throughout the day, I heard yelling and fighting outside the window. I staggered to the door to see my neighbor lady being beaten by a starnge guy I had never seen around before, I ran to her side and "got control of the situation" I calmed her and brought her inside to call the police and feel safe while she waited. The whole time I sat there frightened that I was going to jail for the way I handled myself with the stranger. As I watched the police pull up to the house I envisioned myself once again sitting in jail trying to figure out who would bail me out this time, frightened and anxious I explained what had happened knowing the next words from the officers mouth would be "your coming with us on assault charges". So you can imagine that to my surprise and probably because I lived in a small community the officers thanked me and told me that I actually did the right thing this time. With a sigh of relief I watched as the hauled the stranger off to what I was sure would have been my fate instead. As I sat there in disbelief my neighbor lady kindly asked me if I had been drinking, to which I softly replyed "YES". She told me how she had watched me come home many times and wondered if I would make it in the door because of the condition I was in, I laughed and told her I was very capable of drinking far to much very often. She began to tell me that the guys was from her past, that she had just gotten her children back from the state and that she was in about 30 minutes heading to an A.A. meeting and if I was interested in going. I said yes and during the meeting had a moment of clarity and have been sober ever since. Thanks to her and I know the man upstairs!
Almost 10 years into being sober I have influenced some, tried to help others with both success and failure, I have not written, told or shared my story with many in the years but choose to do so know as I am at a lose with 2 of the most important people in my life. MY PARENTS!!! Dad just goy DUI 6 (2 differant states and has served time in the past for them (a week ago), Mom just got admited to detox again and is playing the "I am going to treatment and stopping this time" game. I have tried many times with both of them to lend a hand (2 of my biggest helping failures to date). I wrote today in an effort to get as much input from outside the box as possible, as I am at a lose and have a very hard time walking away and cutting loses. My end of the cycle is better and getting better, as my kids do not see what I did as children. However I also feel that grandma and grandpa should be more a part of the whole picture. Should I continue the fight or is it to late?
From the first time I can remeber my household was one of both chemical and physical abuse, as both parents were heavy drinkers and fought constantly. As you can imagine the situation did not get better when they split only grew as strangers were added to the mix as they fit into the lifestyle both parents chose to live.
After many years and many, many horrible stories both my brother and I grew to become adults and start making choices on our own. To say the least as start athletes we both fit into all crowds including the party scene all through H.S., as we had always viewed drinking as a normal daily occurance and did not shame ourselves for drinking to much or the things we did while drinking. Both with scholorship offers to attend schools across the country, I chose to go to school and my brother chose to go to work. As with many young adults the both the temptaion and individuality of both lifestyles led to more drinking and eventually to both of us developing drinking problems on our own levles ( my brother a lot more functional then I).
As I began my college run as you might say, still finding success in athletics as I drank I never really understood that I had a problem, due to the holding up my end of my athletic responsibility (not what I was capeable of but just enough to keep scholorships etc...). Eventually the fighting and drinking caught up with me as I was asked to look for schooling elsewhere. So I did, however my problems just followed and just as I was ending my Junior year of college someone upstairs decided he let me try and figure it out on my own long enough.
The day I quit 10-13-2002: As with any alcoholic I have many entertaining stories, but at almost ten years sober this is the only one that matters to me from my past anymore. After a long two days of drinking sunday found me still drinking waiting for something exciting to happen so I could continue and finish the weekend in "style". As I sat in my house drinking, sleeping and then drinking alone throughout the day, I heard yelling and fighting outside the window. I staggered to the door to see my neighbor lady being beaten by a starnge guy I had never seen around before, I ran to her side and "got control of the situation" I calmed her and brought her inside to call the police and feel safe while she waited. The whole time I sat there frightened that I was going to jail for the way I handled myself with the stranger. As I watched the police pull up to the house I envisioned myself once again sitting in jail trying to figure out who would bail me out this time, frightened and anxious I explained what had happened knowing the next words from the officers mouth would be "your coming with us on assault charges". So you can imagine that to my surprise and probably because I lived in a small community the officers thanked me and told me that I actually did the right thing this time. With a sigh of relief I watched as the hauled the stranger off to what I was sure would have been my fate instead. As I sat there in disbelief my neighbor lady kindly asked me if I had been drinking, to which I softly replyed "YES". She told me how she had watched me come home many times and wondered if I would make it in the door because of the condition I was in, I laughed and told her I was very capable of drinking far to much very often. She began to tell me that the guys was from her past, that she had just gotten her children back from the state and that she was in about 30 minutes heading to an A.A. meeting and if I was interested in going. I said yes and during the meeting had a moment of clarity and have been sober ever since. Thanks to her and I know the man upstairs!
Almost 10 years into being sober I have influenced some, tried to help others with both success and failure, I have not written, told or shared my story with many in the years but choose to do so know as I am at a lose with 2 of the most important people in my life. MY PARENTS!!! Dad just goy DUI 6 (2 differant states and has served time in the past for them (a week ago), Mom just got admited to detox again and is playing the "I am going to treatment and stopping this time" game. I have tried many times with both of them to lend a hand (2 of my biggest helping failures to date). I wrote today in an effort to get as much input from outside the box as possible, as I am at a lose and have a very hard time walking away and cutting loses. My end of the cycle is better and getting better, as my kids do not see what I did as children. However I also feel that grandma and grandpa should be more a part of the whole picture. Should I continue the fight or is it to late?
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome...
I moved this out so others will be able to read and reply.
Our Stories Forum does not allow for responses...sooo
Newcomers is a better choice.
Glad to know you found your recovery...
When I was dealing with loved ones in active addiction
I found Alanon to be very helpful.
I moved this out so others will be able to read and reply.
Our Stories Forum does not allow for responses...sooo
Newcomers is a better choice.
Glad to know you found your recovery...
When I was dealing with loved ones in active addiction
I found Alanon to be very helpful.
A girl can dream...
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Recovery Road
Posts: 388
Losingmygrip said it right - it's not your fight - although it's hard to turn and walk away (especially from family). BUT you've been sober for 10 years!!!! And you've chosen to give your kids a life free of alcohol and dysfunction. It's what a good parent does. As for Grandma and Grandpa, it's their choice - they're the ones missing out. Maybe they'll see that one day. Until then do what's best for you and your children.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
What an awesome story...Just keep doing what the man upstairs has planned for you...Ending the cycle....I have a brother I can't help...I can only stay sober and hope and pray that maybe someday he'll want what I have. Congrats on 10 years...Don't ever stop helping people....You just helped me.
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