Sometimes I get confused
Sometimes I get confused
I am an alcoholic, but I was also married to an alcoholic. I tried to quit many times, and I did for long periods of times.
What I'm confused about is where to post. I need both. Sometimes when I come here, I get reminded of my marriage, and I can't respond, even though I want to, then I go to friends and family, and I can't respond there because I am an alcoholic, and I don't want to look at things from my experience with drinking.
I was in a very abusive marriage. Have scars on me that will never go away, never mind the emotional pain I went through. I want to be encouraging, sometimes, I just can't. So I don't post, and I feel bad about this because I want to post, because I need help.
I think sometimes, this helps me. Once I write things out, I can see it better. I guess what I need is help in establishing my boundaries. I think that in my case, and probably many on here, drinking is a symptom to a problem. I guess maybe I need to work on my problem now.
What I'm confused about is where to post. I need both. Sometimes when I come here, I get reminded of my marriage, and I can't respond, even though I want to, then I go to friends and family, and I can't respond there because I am an alcoholic, and I don't want to look at things from my experience with drinking.
I was in a very abusive marriage. Have scars on me that will never go away, never mind the emotional pain I went through. I want to be encouraging, sometimes, I just can't. So I don't post, and I feel bad about this because I want to post, because I need help.
I think sometimes, this helps me. Once I write things out, I can see it better. I guess what I need is help in establishing my boundaries. I think that in my case, and probably many on here, drinking is a symptom to a problem. I guess maybe I need to work on my problem now.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
I'm sorry, amy. You must be a really strong person to have overcome all that on your path toward sobriety. Are you sure you can't just respond in both forums? If anything, I think you might have some valuable insights, seeing things from both perspectives. I know a few other people who straddle both camps.
In any event, I hope you keep posting here.
In any event, I hope you keep posting here.
I can respond in both, sometimes though I think that I shouldn't, I think that initially when a person stops drinking they need encouragement. I can do that, but sometimes I feel the need to add in how I felt, and I don't think it's right to do that. First the alcoholic has to want to stop drinking for themself, then they might want to look at the damage they did.
I will keep posting here, because I need this for me, I just feel really bad sometimes offering someone hope when there is none. Or trying to bring someone up, when they destroyed others lives. I guess I need to pick and choose, and try to get my boundaries in order.
I will keep posting here, because I need this for me, I just feel really bad sometimes offering someone hope when there is none. Or trying to bring someone up, when they destroyed others lives. I guess I need to pick and choose, and try to get my boundaries in order.
Amy55: of course you are allowed to post in Family and Friends! As far as I know, there is no rule here that you can't post in certain forums.
I am a recovered alcoholic and it was a shock to hear my sponsor say to me: "You are a recovering alcoholic and also a codependent to your alcoholic family".
Well, I never considered that I could be both.
I certainly am. I have very codependent traits which I developed very early in life, being the daughter of two active chronic alcoholics.
Which means I can totally relate to the people in the Family and Friends forum. I know what it is like to try to do too much, try to fix people, try to control. All those things that codies do. And, all the while, I was descending into my own private hell of alcohol addiction.
Being both codie and an alcoholic has been baffling at times, but let's look at the positive side: understanding my dual nature has been a huge step in my own recovery and in the reparation and rehabilitation of the relationships in my life.
I am a recovered alcoholic and it was a shock to hear my sponsor say to me: "You are a recovering alcoholic and also a codependent to your alcoholic family".
Well, I never considered that I could be both.
I certainly am. I have very codependent traits which I developed very early in life, being the daughter of two active chronic alcoholics.
Which means I can totally relate to the people in the Family and Friends forum. I know what it is like to try to do too much, try to fix people, try to control. All those things that codies do. And, all the while, I was descending into my own private hell of alcohol addiction.
Being both codie and an alcoholic has been baffling at times, but let's look at the positive side: understanding my dual nature has been a huge step in my own recovery and in the reparation and rehabilitation of the relationships in my life.
Go for it Amy
Many people post in both forums - in some circles, we're known as 'double winners'
only with men not posting in the Womens room and vice versa
D
Many people post in both forums - in some circles, we're known as 'double winners'
As far as I know, there is no rule here that you can't post in certain forums.
D
Last edited by Dee74; 09-17-2011 at 06:05 PM. Reason: added
Hi amy - I've had the same feelings. Was married long ago to an alcoholic, & now I'm the alcoholic. I want to post in Friends & Family, but so far it's felt awkward. Maybe I'll give it a try. Glad you brought this up.
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: "I'm not lost for I know where I am. But however, where I am may be lost ..."
Posts: 5,273
I just feel really bad sometimes offering someone hope when there is none.
I am both too.
I read and post in most of the forums here.
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