40 days, 39 without a hangover
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: CA desert
Posts: 1,599
40 days, 39 without a hangover
Now, this is really new stuff, I'm up at 3:30am to study for classes next week, and not hungover. That's just not fair.
Think about it, I've spent the better part of 30 years drunk or trying to get drunk, but here I am, a 50 yr old, full-time college student, with a roof over my head, a full belly, a nice truck in the driveway, 2 dogs, a cat, tons of plants, and tools to play with whenever I please. I should, considering how I've lived my life, be sleeping on a mattress under the boardwalk, or in an abandoned field somewhere away from law-abiding citizens, yet here I sit with a full cup of coffee, and a new computer with which to stay in touch with my new friends here at SR. No one can tell me there is no God.
I don't have a lady in my life today, but I think that's because the Good Lord cares about them and wants to keep them away till I can learn to appreciate my life without female companionship, so that's ok today.
Who'd a thunk it, 40 days without a drink, for this ole drunk, that's just way cool. The last couple days were tough stuff, but I made it through and feel much better today, thanks to the Good Lord and my friends here at SR and in recovery.
Gotta get crackin' on those studies. See ya.
Think about it, I've spent the better part of 30 years drunk or trying to get drunk, but here I am, a 50 yr old, full-time college student, with a roof over my head, a full belly, a nice truck in the driveway, 2 dogs, a cat, tons of plants, and tools to play with whenever I please. I should, considering how I've lived my life, be sleeping on a mattress under the boardwalk, or in an abandoned field somewhere away from law-abiding citizens, yet here I sit with a full cup of coffee, and a new computer with which to stay in touch with my new friends here at SR. No one can tell me there is no God.
I don't have a lady in my life today, but I think that's because the Good Lord cares about them and wants to keep them away till I can learn to appreciate my life without female companionship, so that's ok today.
Who'd a thunk it, 40 days without a drink, for this ole drunk, that's just way cool. The last couple days were tough stuff, but I made it through and feel much better today, thanks to the Good Lord and my friends here at SR and in recovery.
Gotta get crackin' on those studies. See ya.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: CA desert
Posts: 1,599
Hey box3, how are ya?
I remember you and greatly appreciate your help there a while back about school. You're right, it does feel good, but I'm leaning towards the cautious side, cuase when I feel good, I'm at a much stronger risk of thinking I've got my life together, which is far from the case. My head is still wobbly, so I'm laying low and staying focused the best I can. Good to see ya, my friend.
I remember you and greatly appreciate your help there a while back about school. You're right, it does feel good, but I'm leaning towards the cautious side, cuase when I feel good, I'm at a much stronger risk of thinking I've got my life together, which is far from the case. My head is still wobbly, so I'm laying low and staying focused the best I can. Good to see ya, my friend.
hypercube
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 306
I'm OK, thanks for asking. This weekend has been a tad difficult and I've been a bit of a grumpelstiltskin (grouchy), but overall I'm doing well.
Back to the feeling good part: when I stopped drinking someone asked the question "do you love yourself", my reply went along the lines of "yes, but I don't like myself". This is changing now, I'm finding that sobriety is really good for my self esteem. I feel especially good for not being hungover. It's become a potent motivator for me. I just don't want to go there.
I'm working at it, and I feel good for it. I've still got a lot of work to do, but that's OK. I can only take it one day at a time.
So, my friend, while your caution is wise, please congratulate yourself from time to time. You're doing great work.
Back to the feeling good part: when I stopped drinking someone asked the question "do you love yourself", my reply went along the lines of "yes, but I don't like myself". This is changing now, I'm finding that sobriety is really good for my self esteem. I feel especially good for not being hungover. It's become a potent motivator for me. I just don't want to go there.
I'm working at it, and I feel good for it. I've still got a lot of work to do, but that's OK. I can only take it one day at a time.
So, my friend, while your caution is wise, please congratulate yourself from time to time. You're doing great work.
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: CA desert
Posts: 1,599
I'm with ya, box3, sometimes I don't like myself much and sometimes I can't stand being in the same room with myself, but it's funny, I don't feel that way when I do what I know I need to do. When I start wanting to screw things up, that's when I don't care about myself enough to fight the urge to bring myself down a few notcehes, but I think that's a symptom of dysfunctional upbringing, because I recall often the refrain, "Don't get too big for your britches", which in some ways keeps you down and dampens ones desire to excell and become all that you can be. I'm beginning to think maybe I should get too big for my britches, then buy bigger britches, cause the other mindset keeps me stuck. Ego is one thing, but low self-esteem is quite another, for which we are endlessly compensating.
See, once again you got me a thinkin', thanks for the boost.
See, once again you got me a thinkin', thanks for the boost.
hypercube
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 306
I'm beginning to think maybe I should get too big for my britches, then buy bigger britches, cause the other mindset keeps me stuck. Ego is one thing, but low self-esteem is quite another, for which we are endlessly compensating.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: England
Posts: 90
Great to hear of your success Firestorm....I'm studying again too. If only I had enjoyed learning as much when I was younger. It's a joy every morning to wake up and remember that you didn't drink. No hang over, no shame just life to live. I've walked along the coast this morning in beautiful sunshine watching the sea rolling in. Ususally I'd still be in bed. Keep up the good work xx 
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Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: CA desert
Posts: 1,599
Hi box3 and Dunsuppin,
Thanks for your replies.
I really like what you said, Dunsuppin, about no hangover, no shame just life to live. Funny, my life has always been good, I'm the one who keeps screwing it up by drinking alcohol. Why would I continually do that? Just plain crazymaking. Maybe I am crazy, and when things become too "normal"/easy, I go out and make my life crazy again, just to feel normal? It's making me crazy just thinking about all this, lol.
Well, I sure would like to walk along the beach in the morning, but since I live in the desert, maybe I'll start going out looking for rattlers instead. There's always plenty of them around.
Thanks for your replies.
I really like what you said, Dunsuppin, about no hangover, no shame just life to live. Funny, my life has always been good, I'm the one who keeps screwing it up by drinking alcohol. Why would I continually do that? Just plain crazymaking. Maybe I am crazy, and when things become too "normal"/easy, I go out and make my life crazy again, just to feel normal? It's making me crazy just thinking about all this, lol.
Well, I sure would like to walk along the beach in the morning, but since I live in the desert, maybe I'll start going out looking for rattlers instead. There's always plenty of them around.
Congratulations on your 30 days!!!!! Awesome.
Heathen
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: La La Land, USA
Posts: 2,567
Glad you're feeling better today! I have read all of your recent threads and it seems as though it's really been a tough go for you lately.
Come back to THIS post and this day, next time you feel in a funk
Come back to THIS post and this day, next time you feel in a funk
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,279
New Grill... when is the SR BBQ? 
Looks like a lot of thinking & no drinking going on, that's a great thing FS 
You do have a lot to be thankful for & a lot going for you, know that you deserve it all & more.
We are all here with you Firestorm, side by side in this battle for our lives. I love the way you write & look forward to more of your shares as you go deeper & deeper into your recovery.
Take Care Bud,
NB
Looks like a lot of thinking & no drinking going on, that's a great thing FS You do have a lot to be thankful for & a lot going for you, know that you deserve it all & more.
We are all here with you Firestorm, side by side in this battle for our lives. I love the way you write & look forward to more of your shares as you go deeper & deeper into your recovery.
Take Care Bud,
NB
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: CA desert
Posts: 1,599
Hey Anvilhead and Newbeginnings,
Truth be told, the reason I didn't mention my new grill is because I'm ticked off about it. I picked up a nice grill at Home Depot, on closeout, so I saved about 80 bucks, brought it home, all nice and shiny and sat it on the patio. Next, a qucik run to Walmart, to buy a couple of Angus steaks, which were huge, and then I came home to fire up my new toy. Well, after letting the thing heat up, I plopped on the steaks and went inside to prepare a nice salad, and after a few minutes I saw the smoke. Oops, well, by the time I got to the grill, the steaks had turned to char on the outside, but the insides were still red. I tried scaping off the burnt outer layer, but to no avail. Well, by this time I was so pi$$ed off, I went out and grabbed a pizza, brought it home and awaited my guest, to whom I apologized profusely and we made it through the evening. I'm still ticked off, but it's not the grill, I should have paid close attention to the thing till I was more familiar with its operation and heat cycle. $25.00 worth of steak went to my two dogs, who still love me for it this morning. Think I'll try again this evening, but I'm using hot dogs and burgers instead, till I get the gist of this thing.
Truth be told, the reason I didn't mention my new grill is because I'm ticked off about it. I picked up a nice grill at Home Depot, on closeout, so I saved about 80 bucks, brought it home, all nice and shiny and sat it on the patio. Next, a qucik run to Walmart, to buy a couple of Angus steaks, which were huge, and then I came home to fire up my new toy. Well, after letting the thing heat up, I plopped on the steaks and went inside to prepare a nice salad, and after a few minutes I saw the smoke. Oops, well, by the time I got to the grill, the steaks had turned to char on the outside, but the insides were still red. I tried scaping off the burnt outer layer, but to no avail. Well, by this time I was so pi$$ed off, I went out and grabbed a pizza, brought it home and awaited my guest, to whom I apologized profusely and we made it through the evening. I'm still ticked off, but it's not the grill, I should have paid close attention to the thing till I was more familiar with its operation and heat cycle. $25.00 worth of steak went to my two dogs, who still love me for it this morning. Think I'll try again this evening, but I'm using hot dogs and burgers instead, till I get the gist of this thing.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,279
Sorry to hear about your steaks FS but happy for your doggies
I have made some nice steaks & fish into charcoal before
Cooking on BBQ's is a lot like our sobriety, they both have to be watched very closely to get it right
I have made some nice steaks & fish into charcoal before
Cooking on BBQ's is a lot like our sobriety, they both have to be watched very closely to get it right
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