Happy Saturday everyone!

Just hanging around the house, prepping for my RV trip to New England coming up in a few days.

Have a family memorial gathering today at the tavern close to my house, will definitely control my situation.

Stay on track!

Hi Julyers,

A foggy morning up here in the driftless zone, sure sign that autumn is here.

So I'm sitting here with my 'dirty' iced chai latte; quite the concoction- 2 shots of the good stuff, espresso. Not too long ago I ordered a 'muddy' iced chai latte. Coffee Shop Dude said, "Good one!". I didn't bother to tell him it was unintentional, just "Ha- guess I need the coffee".

TS- Sounds like your thoughts are clarifying. I've realized too that I turned to alcohol when life 'hit too hard'. Just felt like the world was too wildly out of control to deal with... I don't need to tell you that I didn't have a good reaction.

Toadie, have fun in New England. One of my best friends is from Maine; visited there one summer and it was lovely.

letitigo- We'll be thinking of you. Hang tough.

Everyone, have a good day/evening.

Hi all

Sorry not checked in a few days. It's been crazy here as we've had family over. One of my cousins has moved up here for university so we've had the whole family stopping over (they're from down south).

I'm good, still sober of course. Just about to settle down watching the rugby. Come on England!

congrats on that week cbf :)

D

Hi julyers!!

I'm just popping in to say hello to fantail, if that's cool. Hi fantail! It's great to see you back on here! Hope you are well.

Congrats on your recoveries everybody! We can do this, one day at a time.

Take care, wehav

Checking in. Survived the wedding. Tempted to drink but I kept playing the tape. Had a nice time. In time i am sure the urges will be less. Still trying to break the mental thoughts of the habit. Proud i survived being thrown into the fire.

Have a great day!!

That's great Letitgo, good job! Building those sober muscles :)

good going letitgo :)

D

Great job, letitgo!!!

Been quiet here guys..
Letitgo I'm so proud of you ! ((Hug!!))
Hope everyone's had a nice weekend. I got a lot accomplished today preparing for the colder weather. Cleaned the shed, seasonal yard stuff, carport, and pool! I'm exhausted. (No I'm won't come do yours) lol
Almost bed time! Talk tomorrow!

Hi Julyers,

Yay, letitgo, I knew you could do it.

Hope everyone is well. Good to hear from you BBB and glad everything is okay.

It has been a beautiful weekend up here in the driftless zone. I hope anyone who can see the moon tonight is checking it out. The full, harvest, eclipsing moon is awesome! I just got back from watching it at the river and am going back out to see the rest of the show.

Hang in there, everyone.

Congratulations letitgo!

I saw the eclipse too toki... it was a little cloudy here but thankfully the moon was bright enough that for most of the time it was very visible (until, of course, it wasn't!).

My foul mood continues, but I'm trying hard to keep my mind on the fact that, when you're not trying to drown your problems, hard times lead to growth. And the silver lining is that I'm filled with gratitude towards my mother for letting me stay here with her while I reassemble my life. If I were on my own this weekend, not drinking would have been really hard. Being here, where I'd have to be incredibly sneaky about it and risk totally breaking her heart, it never came close to being something I would do. I can't really tell my mom, "thanks for taking me in, because if you hadn't I might be drunk right now!" without giving her a heart attack, so I'll say it here. Thanks Mom!

Weekend wasnt fun at all, too much anxiety and worry and weird feelings,

Also had a relative pass and that was and is horrible and scares me,

Headaches recently started no pain killer takes them away,

Hope everyones weekend went well for them

Hello Holds, I know we don't know each other...but I'm sending hugs and love anyway. I am so sorry about your relative. Unfortunately, I know that pain far too well this year. :hug: ♥

I'm sure you already do this, but drinking lots of water can help with headaches.
And my auntie used to tell me to draw my index fingers in soft circles on my temples...she swore by it.

V xx

Fantail and Holds, I hope things get better for you ((hug)). It's hard being in the place you are and hard to pull out of it. Hang in there.

Clouds covered the eclispe. We could not see it :(
I too was a bit negative lately . I really have been communicating my emotions and trying. to figure out why. Feelings of hopelessness and being overwhelmed and very stressed out. We went to the wedding and i packed yesterday. Traveling ramps my anxiety. Always worry i will miss my flight or forget something. Its a good concern but feels overwhelming. Told my coworker i will be with that i am not drinking upfront. Don't want to sit in the bar. Anyway i just tried to understand my feelings. Nothing is horrible just being cautious. I know I overate yestrday to feel better trying to replace booze with something else.

I wish you all well. Look forward to getting to cali today.

Venuscat :hug: i missed you. Hope you are feeling better stranger!!

Hi Everyone,

I am on day 89 of recovery. For the most part, I have been feeling fairly average. About one or two days a month now I have complete anxiety days. I tend to remember all of the embarrassing moments and guilty moments I had while drinking and feel so ashamed. Do these particular feelings ever vanish?

On another note, I feel like I lost a bit of my identity. I feel awkward socially. I have scary feelings like my husband is going to leave me. I can be irritable. I feel like I want to start occasionally drinking again just to get my normal back. I never had this anxiety before.

On a positive note, it feels great not being hungover. I feel like a better mom for being responsible.

Thanks for reading and great to see others sticking too it.

Hello Julyers,

Holds- So sorry to hear about your relative.

Linz- Nice to meet you. Please stick around.

letitgo, fantail, Holds, and Linz- Anxiety bites, I know. I think fantail's "Hard times lead to growth" statement is something to keep in mind. Having struggled quite a bit lately with negative thoughts myself, I'm trying to believe it. Sometimes a leap in faith is necessary...

Anyway, whatever else, don't drink! (Talking to myself too.)

cbf- How are you?

Hang in there, everyone.

Hang in there July 15ers
Finished the Allan Carr how to control drinking. It was good.
His advice seems dangerous. Sure go to parties and the bar. I dont know. After drinking for several years its gonna take me time to adjust to being a non drinker. I cant just disregard the urges and mental battles yet.
Found a new book how to be a man written by a rockstar Duff from Guns and Roses. I was going to read the big book but i gave into an impulse book :) he sobered up when he was 30.

Made it to sunny cali.

Here is a photo from the plane. I love mountains.

Sorry to those struggling. I feel and understand your pain. I keep telling myself theses feelings will pass. I know for sure i have a dual diagnosis.
Almost 3 months in and still getting anxiety and panic attacks. Not as bad and getting better.
http://i58.tinypic.com/ouy6us.jpg

Hi all,
Holds I'm sorry for your loss. Hang in there everyone.

I guess I'll jump on the blah train and confess that I was pretty miserable today too. A bad interaction at work left me angry and paranoid all day. I know my feelings are mostly irrational but I do often feel antagonism from everyone there and I want to quit on the spot. I know this is irrational because I've struggled with this feeling at every job I've had for the past 16 years.
I admit I thought about what I used to do after days like this: drink with a vengeance. Pace around in my room quietly acting out the violent arguments I want to have with the people who slighted me.

Also today a customer dropped off two flats of beer as a thank you for services I went out of my way to provide free of charge. It might as well have been a bottle of bleach. After work I drank a coke, ate a candy bar and went to the gym instead of getting hammered. Now I just feel really sad, like I'm still digging that hole minus the booze. I need to get back into counseling. My poor sponsor is gonna get an earful tomorrow at our first meeting.

Okay, pity party over. Thanks for listening.