Well, my first victory of the day. No drinking with the guys after work. That'll do as a start.

Great job CBF! We have to enjoy our victories. (Not with a drink ofcourse)

Next weekend I have a wedding. Usually i would get plowed during the reception and then steamrolled at the after party. I am planning to hang in for the reception and maybe just go back to my hotel room for the after party. My mind says its ok you have done so well. Why not kick back. A few never hurt.

I do worry if i have prepared enough. I can do it. Just can't listen to the alcoholic voice.

I've every faith in you, letitgo :-)

Although, FF X is my least favourite in the series, so I have to question your judgment somewhat!! :-) Only joking!!

Hope you're having a great night / day!

It's not your mind - it's the AV. The AV always lies. Always :)

have you seen this link? great tips for social occasions:
Crying Out Now: Thanksgiving Survival Guide

Thanks Dee great article. Bottom line is AV is waiting to pounce on any moment happy, sad or indifferent.

Yesterday after the shop closed my coworkers commiserated about the digestive distress they were suffering after a night of liquor and beer at a friend's going away party. The guy I work with most days is always extra grumpy when he's hung over. I've noticed in the past few weeks he's stopped telling me about his previous nights indulgences, I suppose out of courtesy to me.
While complaining about their hangovers, the other one of them said to me "you're not missing much."
But he's wrong:
I'm not missing anything at all.

Congrats Updward Spiral and Key of C on 2 months!!! Woohooo you rock!!
:Valdog:

:fireworks2

:bbk:

Thanks Letitgo! Love the emoticons (as anyone can tell right?! Lol)

Made it back to Ky yesterday pretty much uneventful. People are just terrible drivers. It's slow for us going through the gorge in NC loaded with cedar logs on the steep grades. People just don't care about people anymore. That's why the world is like it is now. People are out for themselves at any cost. Any cost such as driving wrecklessly to jump in front of a tractor trailer loaded with cedar logs weighing 74000 pounds! First off the big trucks can't maneuver like a smaller vehicle, let alone turn quick to avoid anything or stop on a dime. Then accidents happen and people dont understand why the passengers died in that wreck. Really? Are you kidding me!? Usually the truck driver is blamed because he is considered a professional driver which is bull crap. Always think about how you are acting when you see a big truck. Dont take the chances, let them go for everybody's safety. Take a dang second longer, it won't kill you! Thanks lol rant over!

Cbf glad you're back ( hug)
Wish everyone a good Sunday! ((Hug))!!

Cbf - well done you for not drui king after work :)

Letitgo - I also have every faith that you will be okay at the wedding. Try to make sure you plan for every eventuality and have an escape route if required. It's never rude to get the hell outta there to save your own ass.

I'm having a pretty chilled out weekend so far. I have my interview tomorrow for a new role Eeeek. I'm thinking positive and hoping for the best :)

B

Hey Class,

Day 2 going well, no urges (although I have been browsing the reference material for homework :-) ! ).

KeyofC - that sure sounds like an interesting trip to make! Glad you and your partner got back safe and sound!

BBB - sorry, missed your post, we must have been typing at nearly the same time! Hope your job interview goes well! Another shocking day for the Magpies yesterday? How long do you think Ashley will give McLaren?

Hope we're all doing well today, too.

Thanks letitgo, and congrats keyofc.

Glad you made it safely to your destination key. I totally get your frustration on the road but from a different perspective. I've done a good bit of long distance bicycle touring and have noticed that of all the drivers on the road, truckers are almost always extra courteous and cautious. As for everyone else out there, they might as well be assassins!

Happy Sunday everyone. :) My family is out of town and I realized that it's the first time since my meltdown in June/July that I've been "left alone" overnight. I wasn't concerned but I'm still feeling very relieved and proud that I can be trusted with a full liquor cabinet, no obligations, and no supervision. Makes me feel human again.

Holds - It's cooling off here too. Excited for fall but very nervous for my first northeastern winter in many years!

Cbf - Good on you coming back. I relate to not being the textbook 'difficult drunk'. People didn't catch on to the extent of my problem -- even my boyfriend was completely blindsided when I went to rehab (which makes me concerned both for his powers of observation and for my capacity to lie my face off). I think people like us who don't get the external pressure as much have to work harder to remind ourselves often of the consequences. It's the main reason I'm staying with family. It helps a lot to know that a slip would be noticed and damaging to people I love. But in any case I'm a big fan of "playing the tape forward" as a mental exercise. Forcing myself to try and physically feel the sensation of post-relapse shame helps me urge surf.

Key of C - Glad you're safe! Also, the sentence "We are in SC getting loaded!" gave me a double take. :lmao

Upward Spiral I'm a bicycle tourer as well and I second your appreciation of truck drivers. Semis scare me in the city because of their blindspots, but on the highway they're the best. The worst is pick up trucks with trailers!

Letitgo - It's great that you're thinking ahead. I often respond to my AV in full on conversational style (from Mary Karr's memoir Lit which I'm reading right now: "Who but a drunk, I wonder looking back, could sit on a porch alone and get in an argument?"). So in that mode, when it kicks in next week, you're all set to say "we already had this conversation, I'm not discussing it again!" :)

Oops I forgot... toki, a few years ago my meditation instructor told me to think of my mind as a bright blue sky and my moods & thoughts as weather patterns. Glad that you inadvertently reminded me of that, it's so helpful for me in accepting the moodiness. Sounds like you're getting through the ups & downs?

High five Fantail!

Good luck on your interview BBB. Be sure to do some power poses beforehand!

Congrats on skipping the post work drinks CBF. That one has been hard for me and I still have to guzzle a coca cola some days when I get home.

I just have to put this out there: I don't have a proper computer at home. I'm always posting from my smart phone, so even though I read everyone's posts I don't always comment on them bc I can't see the whole thread while I'm writing; It's hard to keep track this way. I feel guilty about this sometimes. I'm glad we're all getting to know each other and I've begun to think of you all during my day! I'm really proud of us and I'm really grateful for the support from my sobriety peers. Xo!

Fantail!! Lol!! Somebody else said the same thing in another forum! I never thought a thing about that but it is funny! My husband is a truck driver. We say that all the time "getting loaded", but how hilarious and coincidental is that sentence?!!

Fantail, Upward - thanks for the support and kind words. It's really appreciated. Still here, still sober. Feeling very strong in my resolve today, day 2 or no - I want my happy ever after, I'll fight for it all the way.

Have a peaceful evening!

Hello Julyers,

Much good news here again.

BBB- Good luck with your interview tomorrow (today?)!

cbf- Lesson learned and you're back in the game, yes.

US and KeyofC- Well done on two months.

letitigo- You're already planning for the wedding. That's a good thing. I'll bet you'll be just fine.

fantail- You sound good! And you're right: I'm moody these days with wildly swinging emotions. I'll try to spare everyone Snarky Toki.

(Btw KeyofC-- I hereby christen you the Queen of Emoticons. Every group must have one.)

BTW, my theme these days is driving, so KeyofC, been thinking about your trucking experience...

Friday and today was spent driving, driving, driving. I really don't mind driving but got very tired of it after a few years of a long commute. While driving this weekend, I was thinking way back to when Dad was teaching me how. He insisted I learn on a stick shift. "You never know when you'll need to drive a truck, Toki"-- "Whatever you say, Dad." Well I haven't had a chance to drive a truck yet, but still do love driving manuals. So last week when I was really struggling I kept picturing myself driving on a pothole filled gravel road. I needed to shift down to first gear and slowly ride it out.

Wow, I'd better stop now. Time to wind down and try to get some quality kip.

Hang in there, everyone.

I use my phone on here also. Does anyone have the sr phone app? I wish i could upload pics and stuff. I can get it to work just on the website.

Hi everyone :-)

Toki, this may not be relevant to your experience at all, but I thought I would mention that I went on a SSRI a few months ago for hormone related mood swings and the difference has been quite incredible.

Drivers in NZ on the open road are absolute maniacs. It's quite scary.

Well done everyone on your successes!!