Sad, but hopeful
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 27
Sad, but hopeful
It’s been almost two weeks since he dumped me. Two days since I left the house we shared. Its 4 more days until I move in to my own place.
I blocked him from facebook, it hurt me to see him add every single ex he ever had. My mind knows that he is doing this for an ego boost. But my feelings are still hurt from his actions.
Most of the time now I am happy. But the sad moments come when I think of the pain he has caused. And what we will miss out on as a couple raising our son together.
I limited contact with him severely, only discussing time for visitation regarding our son via text. I also made the exchanges at daycare so I don’t have to see him.
I have come to the point of acceptance that it’s over at this point, but I still have some thoughts of him getting better and making it work.
I have been his conscience for the last 2 and a half years. Now he will either go back to pills, and ignore his feelings again, or develop a conscience of his own. I guess only time will tell.
I eventually want to reach out to him. But I know its too soon right now. I miss him.
I blocked him from facebook, it hurt me to see him add every single ex he ever had. My mind knows that he is doing this for an ego boost. But my feelings are still hurt from his actions.
Most of the time now I am happy. But the sad moments come when I think of the pain he has caused. And what we will miss out on as a couple raising our son together.
I limited contact with him severely, only discussing time for visitation regarding our son via text. I also made the exchanges at daycare so I don’t have to see him.
I have come to the point of acceptance that it’s over at this point, but I still have some thoughts of him getting better and making it work.
I have been his conscience for the last 2 and a half years. Now he will either go back to pills, and ignore his feelings again, or develop a conscience of his own. I guess only time will tell.
I eventually want to reach out to him. But I know its too soon right now. I miss him.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Pennsylvania
Posts: 505
I'm so sorry you are going through this, gertie5474. But it sounds like you are taking all the right steps for YOU, and that is a really good thing. Keep reading and posting - it really does help.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 951
Welcome to Sober Recovery, Gertie.
I'm so sorry for what you are experiencing.
I have to agree with Everhopeful though, you sound like you are dealing in a healthy manner based on what you wrote above.
The phrase "This too shall pass" helps keep me grounded during the rollercoaster moments of life.
Peace,
Hanna
I'm so sorry for what you are experiencing.
I have to agree with Everhopeful though, you sound like you are dealing in a healthy manner based on what you wrote above.
The phrase "This too shall pass" helps keep me grounded during the rollercoaster moments of life.
Peace,
Hanna
IsItAlright
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: rainbow
Posts: 157
Dear,
I know how it feels.... I also tried to show my ex my love by action because he always guilt trip me and being passive aggressive... I also cried, yelled, threaten, breaking things, talking to him... Same as all u have done.
And, he also kicked me last Wed, blaming me for snooping around his phone and Facebook. I found flirty msg and found a woman he had dated during our previous breakup is still sending him a pic of her sucking a bansna, and Some naked pics taken in studio. (In Dec I already found that she sent her pics in underwear, I was so mad and he promised no more these crap pics)... But now..
But, I wouldn't blame my bf if he snooped my phone and really found evidence. It shouldn't be them to get so mad and kicked us out.
The thing is that when they got high, he flirt around on Internet when u and me were not available. And they made impulsive decision to kick us out becoz its one of side effect.
I know how it feels.... I also tried to show my ex my love by action because he always guilt trip me and being passive aggressive... I also cried, yelled, threaten, breaking things, talking to him... Same as all u have done.
And, he also kicked me last Wed, blaming me for snooping around his phone and Facebook. I found flirty msg and found a woman he had dated during our previous breakup is still sending him a pic of her sucking a bansna, and Some naked pics taken in studio. (In Dec I already found that she sent her pics in underwear, I was so mad and he promised no more these crap pics)... But now..
But, I wouldn't blame my bf if he snooped my phone and really found evidence. It shouldn't be them to get so mad and kicked us out.
The thing is that when they got high, he flirt around on Internet when u and me were not available. And they made impulsive decision to kick us out becoz its one of side effect.
IsItAlright
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: rainbow
Posts: 157
Pls take care of yourself and baby...
I just wanna let u know that u are not alone.
I'm very sad too.... And sad about the fact that he would numb himself and get high with drugs... It's only me feeling sad and missing him when he's high on sky without me nagging at him... I'm sad that he's probably happier spending time with druggie frens to get high instead of spending time with me...
Please take care. We are all here supporting each other
I just wanna let u know that u are not alone.
I'm very sad too.... And sad about the fact that he would numb himself and get high with drugs... It's only me feeling sad and missing him when he's high on sky without me nagging at him... I'm sad that he's probably happier spending time with druggie frens to get high instead of spending time with me...
Please take care. We are all here supporting each other
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 23
gertie5474, when you move into your own place, take the opportunity to make it a happy and stress-free home and don't drag in your old problems Decorate the place as you want, play your favorite music, cook some good food, and take advantage of the opportunity to relax. Your environment can have a big impact on your mood.
I read somewhere that it takes half as long to fully get over someone as the time you spent in the relationship. Like if you were in a relationship with someone for 2 years, it will take a year for you to fully get over that person. I remember prior to my husband the guy I was dating was a real *ss but I was devastated when our relationship ended. I'd been with him for a year and a half. Let me tell you, by the 2 month mark I was much much better, still angry with him but no longer had any desire to contact him, and by 6 months I wasn't even angry with him any more. Time will heal you. Try to stay out of contact as much as possible, it will help speed up the process.
I read somewhere that it takes half as long to fully get over someone as the time you spent in the relationship. Like if you were in a relationship with someone for 2 years, it will take a year for you to fully get over that person. I remember prior to my husband the guy I was dating was a real *ss but I was devastated when our relationship ended. I'd been with him for a year and a half. Let me tell you, by the 2 month mark I was much much better, still angry with him but no longer had any desire to contact him, and by 6 months I wasn't even angry with him any more. Time will heal you. Try to stay out of contact as much as possible, it will help speed up the process.
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