uh oh
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: windsor, ontario, canada
Posts: 201
uh oh
today is day 11.
I am having a hard time today. Partially cause i am cranky and fighting the urge to drink. Partially because my plate seems very full. And mostly because in exactly one week i will turn 29 years old.
Pretty freakin crappy that i am dreading this day. But, for the first time in oh, probably, 12 years, i will not be drinking. I know this shouldnt even be affecting me, but, fact is, its kind of consuming me and that stinks. I have no idea how to celebrate a birthday without friends and toxicicity.
So, I tried to think of some ways that i would like to spend my day. I took the day off work, which was planned a few months ago. The plans were to go to an amusement park. And, at this time, i feel that it is the safest way to go. However, that still leaves the weekend before. Parents expect a visit, 2 sets, and I guess that I feel stupid. For the longest time, i had to drink to be around others, so a sober day with my step ma and kids would be ok. But dad will have his usual beers. And the same at my ma's. And i know they respect my decisions, its just that i dont know how to be around them without my beverages.
My friends, well, ........
Does anyone have any ideas here??? I mean, mostly we've got alot of smart and strong people on this site. I would like to borrow some insite.
Can anyone give me some fun, and entertaining ideas that dont require alcohol? Y'all may shake your head but this is so new to me that I, well, guess i need some help.
Hope everyone has a sober day
mertyl
I am having a hard time today. Partially cause i am cranky and fighting the urge to drink. Partially because my plate seems very full. And mostly because in exactly one week i will turn 29 years old.
Pretty freakin crappy that i am dreading this day. But, for the first time in oh, probably, 12 years, i will not be drinking. I know this shouldnt even be affecting me, but, fact is, its kind of consuming me and that stinks. I have no idea how to celebrate a birthday without friends and toxicicity.
So, I tried to think of some ways that i would like to spend my day. I took the day off work, which was planned a few months ago. The plans were to go to an amusement park. And, at this time, i feel that it is the safest way to go. However, that still leaves the weekend before. Parents expect a visit, 2 sets, and I guess that I feel stupid. For the longest time, i had to drink to be around others, so a sober day with my step ma and kids would be ok. But dad will have his usual beers. And the same at my ma's. And i know they respect my decisions, its just that i dont know how to be around them without my beverages.
My friends, well, ........
Does anyone have any ideas here??? I mean, mostly we've got alot of smart and strong people on this site. I would like to borrow some insite.
Can anyone give me some fun, and entertaining ideas that dont require alcohol? Y'all may shake your head but this is so new to me that I, well, guess i need some help.
Hope everyone has a sober day
mertyl
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Lost in translation
Posts: 47
Oh dear, I can't offer any advice, as I am only on day 7 here. CONGRATS on day 11 !!! I know what you mean about..."how do you have fun and not drink?" It was like that party we had on Friday, everyone else could drink just that night and have fun, but I had to stay away from it like the plague or it would have been a downhill spiral. Although it was funny watching everyone else while I was sober!
I had a hard time yesterday...and my husband and I and my daughter walked, and walked....6 miles later....lol....I still thought....GOSH, a cold one sure would be nice right now...Fought it off though, just hate that it has to even enter my mind you know. I know though that I'm gonna have to fight it for the rest of my life.
I have found that watching movies helps me alot. It's a good distraction for a little while anyway, and usually by the time it's over I'm past my urge. Although today, I watched "When a man loves a woman." UGH, talk about cry....That's the one where Meg Ryan is the alcoholic and Andy Garcia is her husband. That REALLY hit home.
Sorry, got TOTALLY off the subject! Walking, getting outside, renting movies, reading, anything to keep my mind off "it" helps me. Hang in there, I'm sorry today is an off day, I know how bad they suck, but if you can just hang in there tomorrow will be 12!!!!
I had a hard time yesterday...and my husband and I and my daughter walked, and walked....6 miles later....lol....I still thought....GOSH, a cold one sure would be nice right now...Fought it off though, just hate that it has to even enter my mind you know. I know though that I'm gonna have to fight it for the rest of my life.
I have found that watching movies helps me alot. It's a good distraction for a little while anyway, and usually by the time it's over I'm past my urge. Although today, I watched "When a man loves a woman." UGH, talk about cry....That's the one where Meg Ryan is the alcoholic and Andy Garcia is her husband. That REALLY hit home.
Sorry, got TOTALLY off the subject! Walking, getting outside, renting movies, reading, anything to keep my mind off "it" helps me. Hang in there, I'm sorry today is an off day, I know how bad they suck, but if you can just hang in there tomorrow will be 12!!!!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: South Florida
Posts: 51
Hey there, it's day 12 for me......so obviously one can make it past day 11 !!!
As to the hint about watching movies...Try "Leaving Las Vegas" with Nicholas Cage....now there's a story that will make you not want to drink!!
Keep up- the good work, day 11 is just another day.
As to the hint about watching movies...Try "Leaving Las Vegas" with Nicholas Cage....now there's a story that will make you not want to drink!!
Keep up- the good work, day 11 is just another day.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: windsor, ontario, canada
Posts: 201
thanks turkey. Its great for day 7. I guess someone recommended that movie for you??? I have never seen it but it probably would really hit home for me too. Thanks for the suggestions.
I am sure your husband and daughter are proud of you and that should make you feel even better.
Hang in there and be strong.
mertyl
I am sure your husband and daughter are proud of you and that should make you feel even better.
Hang in there and be strong.
mertyl
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Camelot
Posts: 90
Do you have a dish and Tivo? If not, look into it. Consider it a reward--plus not drinking will pay for it many times over.
It's great when I'm bored to have 20 hours of shows and movies to pick from...it helps the time fly.
Take care
It's great when I'm bored to have 20 hours of shows and movies to pick from...it helps the time fly.
Take care
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Lost in translation
Posts: 47
Originally Posted by Lastbinge
Hey there, it's day 12 for me......so obviously one can make it past day 11 !!!
As to the hint about watching movies...Try "Leaving Las Vegas" with Nicholas Cage....now there's a story that will make you not want to drink!!
Keep up- the good work, day 11 is just another day.
As to the hint about watching movies...Try "Leaving Las Vegas" with Nicholas Cage....now there's a story that will make you not want to drink!!
Keep up- the good work, day 11 is just another day.
We went out to dinner after that and stared at eachother from across the table like
did we just see? It made me feel like my problem paled in comparison!! "When a man loves a woman" though, now that movie really spoke to me and I could relate to all that she went through. However, for a good laugh....get Wedding crashers...you don't need to have a buzz to laugh at that one!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: road to recovery
Posts: 1,689
hey mertyl! i'm like turkey, on day 7, so congrats on that day 11!
birthdays...i remember being really depressed when i turned 29. not 30 but 29. so hang in there. 30 was a great one!
as for advice: is there anything that you dream about doing that you could do for your big day? what can you plan that's really cool just for you--like a get-away, an athletic event, or a great show? just doing a 5K made me feel really proud of myself (of course, this was 3 years and 1 toddler ago...but hey, now it's a goal again!) travel somewhere--like go to the states and visit museums. do something that will make you feel good about your growth and take you out of your routine. go to a play or something that you've never done. why not? you only turn 29 once in your life (well, some of us do ;-)
do you have to see your family? if so, can you ask them to meet you somewhere instead--maybe a restaurant or do a potluck picnic? anything that's a little out of the norm?
and the amusement park is a great idea. hard to be sad when you're screaming on a rollercoaster!
as for cranky: well, my moods have been running the whole gamut of craziness. first, i'm happy, then i'm sad. one constant: i'm ALWAYS on the verge of cranky ;-) but then again, i think i was always that way! lack of sleep and three competitive boys usually help keep me there. hang in there. it will get better (this is the mantra i'm chanting with hope too!)
as for movies: not to say that you shouldn't watch those movies, but on your big day don't stay home with a video--go do something active and out of the box.
but oh-let's-do-chat-about-movies because i love them so much. i've thought much about man loves a woman recently because the vision of him watching her with her children--totally present totally conscious--keeps me going with hope for my own future.
i've seen both leaving las vegas and when a man. leaving was sad because nik cage was really gone....but man loves a women, i've seen several times..not recently. the first time i saw it, i remember thinking this is so unreal. the most recent time i saw it, i recognized myself hiding the vodka bottle. what an eye-opener. there's also 28 days with sandra bullock, which i've been thinking about a lot again. i don't remember it all but want to see it again...
it's weird giving up the "glamour" of alcohol. how "fun" it was to be drinking--so sophisticated. just what DO we do now?
keep coming back and let us know how it goes. we newbies can learn from each other! (and for those not-so-newbies, we are learning from you too--don't think that i mean to exclude you!)
hugs
birthdays...i remember being really depressed when i turned 29. not 30 but 29. so hang in there. 30 was a great one!
as for advice: is there anything that you dream about doing that you could do for your big day? what can you plan that's really cool just for you--like a get-away, an athletic event, or a great show? just doing a 5K made me feel really proud of myself (of course, this was 3 years and 1 toddler ago...but hey, now it's a goal again!) travel somewhere--like go to the states and visit museums. do something that will make you feel good about your growth and take you out of your routine. go to a play or something that you've never done. why not? you only turn 29 once in your life (well, some of us do ;-)
do you have to see your family? if so, can you ask them to meet you somewhere instead--maybe a restaurant or do a potluck picnic? anything that's a little out of the norm?
and the amusement park is a great idea. hard to be sad when you're screaming on a rollercoaster!
as for cranky: well, my moods have been running the whole gamut of craziness. first, i'm happy, then i'm sad. one constant: i'm ALWAYS on the verge of cranky ;-) but then again, i think i was always that way! lack of sleep and three competitive boys usually help keep me there. hang in there. it will get better (this is the mantra i'm chanting with hope too!)
as for movies: not to say that you shouldn't watch those movies, but on your big day don't stay home with a video--go do something active and out of the box.
but oh-let's-do-chat-about-movies because i love them so much. i've thought much about man loves a woman recently because the vision of him watching her with her children--totally present totally conscious--keeps me going with hope for my own future.
i've seen both leaving las vegas and when a man. leaving was sad because nik cage was really gone....but man loves a women, i've seen several times..not recently. the first time i saw it, i remember thinking this is so unreal. the most recent time i saw it, i recognized myself hiding the vodka bottle. what an eye-opener. there's also 28 days with sandra bullock, which i've been thinking about a lot again. i don't remember it all but want to see it again...
it's weird giving up the "glamour" of alcohol. how "fun" it was to be drinking--so sophisticated. just what DO we do now?
keep coming back and let us know how it goes. we newbies can learn from each other! (and for those not-so-newbies, we are learning from you too--don't think that i mean to exclude you!)
hugs
My Boss is a Jewish Carpenter
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Western Canada
Posts: 338
Hi, (mertyl). Congrats on your continued sobriety!
When you're sitting around visiting people who are drinking, have a glass of something non-alcoholic in your hand. Have candy within reach. Forty-five minutes is usually long enough for a visit, but with parents it's different. Remember, you're willing to go to any lengths to stay sober, even if it means saying "I'm sorry, I've gotta go" and walking out. I've done that several times. Yes it's rude, but how rude did I used to get when I was drunk? Sometimes it's even the same people. And I'm very much in favor of going to a movie theater. Great idea. Zoos are fun too. This time of year, a drive in the country toward Sarnia would be fun.
Celebrate your birthday with a steak dinner at a nice restaurant. Never mind the expense. How expensive were birthdays when you were drinking? And, if God didn't want us to eat animals, He wouldn't have made them out of meat!
When you're sitting around visiting people who are drinking, have a glass of something non-alcoholic in your hand. Have candy within reach. Forty-five minutes is usually long enough for a visit, but with parents it's different. Remember, you're willing to go to any lengths to stay sober, even if it means saying "I'm sorry, I've gotta go" and walking out. I've done that several times. Yes it's rude, but how rude did I used to get when I was drunk? Sometimes it's even the same people. And I'm very much in favor of going to a movie theater. Great idea. Zoos are fun too. This time of year, a drive in the country toward Sarnia would be fun.
Celebrate your birthday with a steak dinner at a nice restaurant. Never mind the expense. How expensive were birthdays when you were drinking? And, if God didn't want us to eat animals, He wouldn't have made them out of meat!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: Vancouver, BC
Posts: 161
Happy pre-birthday!!! Congrats on Day 11!!!
I only on Day 26 however here it goes.
This seems to be working really well for me - juice and club soda. I have been around alcohol on a few occasions and I've found some non-drinking people who have helped (even though they didn't know). Back in the day I could go to a gathering and not drink. Not anymore.
If it gets too overwhelming - get out and go for a walk.
That's all I can suggest. I think you'll feel really good and proud of yourself that you didn't drink.
Also have fun! It's your birthday. 29 is great!
I only on Day 26 however here it goes.
This seems to be working really well for me - juice and club soda. I have been around alcohol on a few occasions and I've found some non-drinking people who have helped (even though they didn't know). Back in the day I could go to a gathering and not drink. Not anymore.
If it gets too overwhelming - get out and go for a walk.
That's all I can suggest. I think you'll feel really good and proud of yourself that you didn't drink.
Also have fun! It's your birthday. 29 is great!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: windsor, ontario, canada
Posts: 201
thank you everyone. I do love me a steak dinner and if i knew how to get those characters on my board here, i'd have a dancing clown.
On saturday, we are going to a tree cutting party and bringing my pup to run with her sister. I cant imagine myself cutting a tree, without sawing off my arm, but i figure the physical aspect will wear me out enough to want to eat the rear end out of a skunk, so i wont have time or room for drinks. And the people we are visiting are preety decent.
So there is one day down, with some pretty good suggestions listed above.
congrats to all on another sober day
mertyl
On saturday, we are going to a tree cutting party and bringing my pup to run with her sister. I cant imagine myself cutting a tree, without sawing off my arm, but i figure the physical aspect will wear me out enough to want to eat the rear end out of a skunk, so i wont have time or room for drinks. And the people we are visiting are preety decent.
So there is one day down, with some pretty good suggestions listed above.
congrats to all on another sober day
mertyl
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Newfie-Land, Mo
Posts: 1,623
happy 29 th...you know I am 33 and will be turning 34 next month....I had such a hard time with 29 too....I was pregnant with my second child and was wanting to use etc...was nit sure about being a mom again and well just lots of things.....
I wish we could all get together and eat a big steak dinner with you ....drink some shirley temples or sweet tea....I just wanted you to know we are all with you ....I have scheduled a massage ...a haircut ..a manicure and a pedicure...whole spa deal....cause this will be my first birthday without drugs (cept when I was prego but i drank a beer or two )....I am looking forward to it and I wish you a wonderful day ......pamper yourself and get yourself something nice....from all that money you are saving from not drinking......
you deserve it Mertyl......
HUGS ~~~B
I wish we could all get together and eat a big steak dinner with you ....drink some shirley temples or sweet tea....I just wanted you to know we are all with you ....I have scheduled a massage ...a haircut ..a manicure and a pedicure...whole spa deal....cause this will be my first birthday without drugs (cept when I was prego but i drank a beer or two )....I am looking forward to it and I wish you a wonderful day ......pamper yourself and get yourself something nice....from all that money you are saving from not drinking......
you deserve it Mertyl......
HUGS ~~~B
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: windsor, ontario, canada
Posts: 201
Dear B- wish we could do the same thing. It would really sweet to get together with a gang of positive people, who would all drink shirley temples and laugh and be open and honest.. well, you get the point.
Have a great birthday, yourself, when it gets here, and enjoy "you day". You deserve all the pampering.
Mertyl
Have a great birthday, yourself, when it gets here, and enjoy "you day". You deserve all the pampering.
Mertyl
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