New kid in town
angry potato
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Ireland
Posts: 77
New kid in town
Hi everyone,
I can't believe I found this place. A sense of relief has washed over me and removed some of the heavy cement-like feeling occupying my stomach since Sunday, the day my mother relapsed. 11 months of beautiful sobriety dissipated. Our lives once again in the throes of confusion and turmoil. The worry is making me ill.
I'm a 22 year old girl and my mother is an alcoholic. She has managed 8 years alcohol-free so I know she is strong enough to do it. This time she is threatening me not to tell any of her family or she will pack and leave. However, I feel like I can't cope on my own and I want to bring her sister onto the scene to support me, if anything.
We also work for the same company which I'm worried about as I don't want to be explaining her behaviour to colleagues or have her embarrassing me.
I just want to feel among friends at the moment and have a cyber place to get support.
Thanks for reading this post.
I can't believe I found this place. A sense of relief has washed over me and removed some of the heavy cement-like feeling occupying my stomach since Sunday, the day my mother relapsed. 11 months of beautiful sobriety dissipated. Our lives once again in the throes of confusion and turmoil. The worry is making me ill.
I'm a 22 year old girl and my mother is an alcoholic. She has managed 8 years alcohol-free so I know she is strong enough to do it. This time she is threatening me not to tell any of her family or she will pack and leave. However, I feel like I can't cope on my own and I want to bring her sister onto the scene to support me, if anything.
We also work for the same company which I'm worried about as I don't want to be explaining her behaviour to colleagues or have her embarrassing me.
I just want to feel among friends at the moment and have a cyber place to get support.
Thanks for reading this post.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 5,075
Welcome, bravery
Glad you found us and are here. I don't have much experience with recovery and relapse, but many here do and I'm sure they'll be along to lend their support.
Try not to have the worry affect your health. What do you do for yourself? Sometimes just occupying ourselves with other actions can help with the obsession over the drinker.
Please keep posting.
Glad you found us and are here. I don't have much experience with recovery and relapse, but many here do and I'm sure they'll be along to lend their support.
Try not to have the worry affect your health. What do you do for yourself? Sometimes just occupying ourselves with other actions can help with the obsession over the drinker.
Please keep posting.
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
((Bravery))
So glad you are here - the beauty of sobriety is so darkened by the sadness of relapses - I think when my A's have relapsed after a period of sobriety, it broke my heart more than before they ever got sober.
When they do relapse, I take the advise of my sponsor and really throw myself into working on my own program (Al-Anon) and focus on taking really good care of myself. That way, I am so busy I really don't have much time to focus on what the A's are doing.
Just my Experience, Strength & Hope,
Let Go & Let God,
Rita
So glad you are here - the beauty of sobriety is so darkened by the sadness of relapses - I think when my A's have relapsed after a period of sobriety, it broke my heart more than before they ever got sober.
When they do relapse, I take the advise of my sponsor and really throw myself into working on my own program (Al-Anon) and focus on taking really good care of myself. That way, I am so busy I really don't have much time to focus on what the A's are doing.
Just my Experience, Strength & Hope,
Let Go & Let God,
Rita
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: nor cal
Posts: 113
Welcome,
Please do what you need to do for yourself.
If you need the support of your sister, seek it, you cannot let yourself be emotionally blackmailed by your mother.
It is not your responsibility to explain your mothers behaviour. I know it is embarrasing, but she needs to be accountable for it.
If colleagues ask, direct them to to her.
You are too young to feel so accountable for someone elses behaviour.
I have daughter who is 23, my soon to be ex is an alcoholic.
She had to learn when to walk away and take care of herself, not an easy thing to do.
She could not save him, could not protect him and she was not going to be responsible for his behaviour anymore, she is alot heathier now. It works!
It's not that she doesn't love him, she just happens to love herself more.
Please do what you need to do for yourself.
If you need the support of your sister, seek it, you cannot let yourself be emotionally blackmailed by your mother.
It is not your responsibility to explain your mothers behaviour. I know it is embarrasing, but she needs to be accountable for it.
If colleagues ask, direct them to to her.
You are too young to feel so accountable for someone elses behaviour.
I have daughter who is 23, my soon to be ex is an alcoholic.
She had to learn when to walk away and take care of herself, not an easy thing to do.
She could not save him, could not protect him and she was not going to be responsible for his behaviour anymore, she is alot heathier now. It works!
It's not that she doesn't love him, she just happens to love herself more.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Posts: 3,812
Welcome to SR... I dont have anything to add on relasping but wanted to welcome you.
Taking care of you is good advise in any situation, My Mother was and Alcoholic and I do understand how embarrasing it can be. I wish I had the tools then that I have now.
Sometimes people tend to connect Parent/Child ... you know how they will say the apple does not fall far from the tree... I guess there is some truth to that but my daughter is a completely different person then I am.... as you are different then your mom and her relasp is not your issue to deal with its hers.
Take good care of you and I look forward to getting to know you
Taking care of you is good advise in any situation, My Mother was and Alcoholic and I do understand how embarrasing it can be. I wish I had the tools then that I have now.
Sometimes people tend to connect Parent/Child ... you know how they will say the apple does not fall far from the tree... I guess there is some truth to that but my daughter is a completely different person then I am.... as you are different then your mom and her relasp is not your issue to deal with its hers.
Take good care of you and I look forward to getting to know you
Member
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Ohio
Posts: 2,579
Hi,Bravery........glad you are back! (Sorry I missed you the last time you were here). This is a good place for me to go to "regroup"...hope it is helping you,too.
Have you read "Getting Them Sober" see http://www.GettingThemSober.com for a few "preview" chapters online) and Co-Dependent No More. I've found lots of practical advice there. I've esp. read and re-read GTS books over and over when I need to get myself back on track; it always helps me calm down .
Hope today improves for you and that you stick around! Sending you a hug,too!
Have you read "Getting Them Sober" see http://www.GettingThemSober.com for a few "preview" chapters online) and Co-Dependent No More. I've found lots of practical advice there. I've esp. read and re-read GTS books over and over when I need to get myself back on track; it always helps me calm down .
Hope today improves for you and that you stick around! Sending you a hug,too!
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