The Guzler

After work on friday, they all sit around the shop and have drinks, and Im like "No thanks I have to drive..." I'm afraid that if I tell them I will be ridiculed, taunted, and teased to the point of relapse. Because thats what kind of shop this is. These are not people whom I love. I have told all of the people who actually care about me, and that was easy, but no one at work.
I just cant get out of there fast enuf on fridays. And they are alway axing me to go for a beer or go golfing or whatever and with this hot weather its getting difficult to say NO. Should I quit my job, go on welfare and hide at home? WTF?

Lollipop

Welcome to the forums Guzler!!!!!

Quit ur job, go on welfare, and hide...............nah.........

I completely relate where your comin from though. I can remember when hubby would roll in late on Fridays cuz they would all get to drinkin after work and one or two led to a bunch and even off to a bar some times.......
Hubby isnt the addict, I am but the situation as far as the B.S. and razzing the guys can give is still the same.
Tell them your no longer drinking.......thats up to you, personally though, I wouldnt, peer pressure at any age is a B***H and I have found that some people say "Good for you" "your a bigger person then me!" etc. but then there the ones that unwittingly make me feel like crap and make me tempted just because.......
I come up with all kinds of little excuses, the no I gotta drive one is always the best cuz anyone who would push you for wanting to NOT drink and drive needs smacked LOL but I use the ...."I cant, I got way too much to do" etc. and people I dont know well usually will leave it at that.

My favorite one though is when someone gives me the ole' "Ahhhh come on one wont kill ya!" I just grin and say "Dude.....Its like Lays potato chips.....I cant do just one!!!" and then I leave LOL
Good luck and again, welcome, this place is awesome!!!!!!!!
Liss

laurie6781

Hey Guzler, welcome to SR. Lots of good people here with lots and lots of experience!!

" Should I quit my job, go on welfare and hide at home? WTF?"

Answer: NO NO NO roflmao

A simple "No Thank You" should suffice. If they insist (as some do) on why? Keep it simple, something like:

"I'm allergic to alcohol, I get deathly ill." or

"I'm on medication, I can't.", or

"I'm driving.", or

"I have somewhere to be." or

"I said NO."

No reason to feel guilty, they are the one with a problem if your not drinking makes them uncomfortable.

You do NOT have to JUSTIFY your not drinking to anyone. It is NONE OF THEIR BUSINESS why you don't drink. Don't make a big deal about it, and pretty soon, they will just accept that you don't drink.

Over the years, I have found when it comes to 'working relationships' that its great to be friendly (but not too friendly) and I have found it is for the best, at least for me, NOT TO SOCIALIZE with those I work with. Just makes for a much better working environment, and I cannot and don't become involved in 'petty squables' and 'chit chat' about someone's personal life.

If you are a "meeting attender" you could find a Friday Night Meeting that starts soon after your work day is done. It's a great way to end the Work Week and Start the Weekend.

JMHO

Hope some of the above can help you.

Love and (((((to all))))),

Anna

Exactly as Laurie says, keep it simple and don't apologize. I have found that anytime someone pushes it, they are the one with the problem!

You don't owe anyone an explanation and keeping business and pleasure separate is a great way to live.

CarolD

You just started this job...
the guys don't know you

and you are new to sobriety.

They are not buddies or friends.

A simple "No thanks" and a quick split
is my suggestion.

I do think one should not mix socially
with co workers...drinking or not.

Blessings...you are doing great!..

Jupiter2

Hi Guzler,

Sounds like maybe a job change might be in order. You could keep your current job while looking for a new one where the pressure to drink would be less.

It is scary to move to a new job, but it can be done without having to lose income and you might even get a better gig.

If you do stay, I think that Laurie's suggestions are great. I always use the "can't 'cause I'm driving" excuse. If they can't understand that and make a big push for you to drink, it is time for a new job.

You will find your way to a solution to this.

Jup.

Sugasnaps

Well... I'll tell you what I have done and it has worked really well for me.

I simply tell people this...

No thank you. I gave up drinking because I carry the family handed down gene of alcoholism. I played with that fire long enough and realized that it just was not worth me continuing to drink alcohol. I found that my reaction to it has changed over the years and red flags were sprouting up so I have heeded them and have given it up. Your support in this would be greatly appreciated.

Universally the response I get is incredibly positive. Never once have I had someone tell me... "that's crap ya sissy!" I usually get an "Ahhh yeah it runs in my family too and you're right. How smart you are to nip it in the bud now rather than later."

No lying involved. Makes me comfortable and lets everyone know in no uncertain terms that alcohol is offlimits to me.

Suga

lulu70

Hey Guzler--Why you choose not to drink is frankly none of their d@mn business! Keep doing what you are doing and it will all be okay. If it's not, then start looking for a new job. I can tell you from experience that it is so nice to be able to hunt for a job while you still actually have one. Much less stressful!

Hang in there.

Chy

I use the ol' "No thanks I don't drink, been there done that it ain't pretty when I do." I usually get a laugh and no one ever entices me again.

leviathon

IF these folks you work with are really as abusive as you say, why would you open yourself up to being abused by telling them? They sound like people that need to really grow up a LOT. that's not your responsibility, neither is turning yourself into a whippin' boy.

Peace, Levi

Cindi R

"I'm allergic to alcohol...every time I drink I break out in handcuffs"...

"No, thanks"...

"Tryin' to give it up"...

"I've got something I've got to take care of today"...

You can tell these people as much or as little as you decide to tell them...
it's really none of their business.
Most everyone knows about AA or has a family member or friend whose life has been ruined by the disease of addiction...
In a "perfect" world you'd not be ridiculed but encouraged for your efforts to acchieve sobriety...
I'm a nurse...in my situation, I was off work for 6-8 weeks for treatment. I had to tell them something when I came back and I decided that the truth would be the easiest. I admitted to my coworkers that I had a methamphetamine addiction...in part so that they wouldn't be worried about me taking my patient's pills...which I never did!
Today, they understand that I'm in recovery and although they go out for drinks....they also realize that I won't be there to socialize with them outside of work...because I don't trust myself to even have one drink...I never could drink like a "normie"...from the time I started I always drank like an alcoholic...
I don't understand the concept of "having a couple of drinks"...I, too was a "guzler"...drinking to get completely wasted...
You can do this...one day at a time....
I've been clean & sober since 8/15/01......
Today, my coworkers are proud of me and I've earned back their respect...it took awhile...and unfortunately there are few success stories.
Find the support of some sober friends...go to as many meetings as you can and keep comming back!

2dayzmuse

I wouldn't tell them any more then you have to. No thanks, I don't drink and leave it at that.

Dave_20

i quit my last job for that same reason, my co workers would always go for drinks after work and i would go and sleep, till i got bored and i found myself in the pub with them realise i didn;t belong there and decided to quit before i ****** up. i was really far away from home though so maybe it was home sickness too. anyways not sayign you shoudl quit but if the situation called for it, then quitting/ job change, i think would be ok.

ibhmn

I'm in the same boat. I know I don't owe them an explanation but what I'm going to say is that I'm trying to lose a couple of pounds and stopping alcohol for a while is the best way for me to do it. Then, the next time they ask I'll say, you know what--the weight didn't comeoff like I expected--I guess I replaced the calories with regular food--but I feel terrific now! I feel like a kid again and I've decided to stop for good.

daveagle

i have lost count of the number of times and and reasons i have given for not going out for a drink either at lunchtime or after work-after a while it became a bit of a joke, on their part not mine

until last Christmas i felt okay to say yes, just one and i'm off home-that was at midday and at at midnight wake up fully clothed in front of my t.v. not remembering a thing

the comments i received afterwards made me feel really bad-i made a complete idiot of myself

anyway i no longer work there

dave

NYCGirl

.......misery loves company. :uzi2:

I'll bet if just keep saying no eventually soon I hope for your sake, they'll just get tired of asking.

Stick to guns!!!

NYCGirl

I knew one of those pushers, ME! The last couple of parties I have thrown though I have had alcohol there, I was not pushing drinks like I used too. Most people have been legaly able to drive home and I went through alot less alcohol. Corelation or coincidence? You decide.