sunshine003

AH came home yesterday....seems he must have rehearsed his speech. Funny but this time, he doesn't get an oscar for his preformance. This makes me realize how he never had that great of a preformance, he just had a HUGE fan, LOL.

He told me how I always assume the worst. Basically that I'm dumb to assume he was talking to "other woman" in any flirtious manner....and the best line was "Do you think I'd want to bring anyone else into the mix right now when I'm trying my hardest to show you that I have always only been with you. Whether I'm at work, here or gone, you are always with me, JUST YOU. How come you always assume the worst? One day, you'll realize how much I love you and how wrong you are for not trusting me. The only thing I'm guilty of is taking you for granted.....BLAH BLAH BLAH"

SHUDDER, I was nothing short of disgusted. I had nothing to say in return. I can leave this relationship and honestly say, I was always true to him. Perfect? NO but I was a responsible, loving partner. I did my best.

minnie

I got the same crap from my ex whilst he was lining up his next sucker on-line. In fact, I got the same crap even after he was engaged to the next enabler.

I am loving your attitude, sunshine. I know it's tough at the moment, but hang in there. There is light at the end of the tunnel. (That used to be my signature - "There is light at the end of the tunnel - I hope it's not a train" or something like that)

pmaslan

it was "There is a light at the end of the tunnel...you just don't see
it yet..." remember minnie.....lol

GettingFree

Apologies for derailing OT here, but Minnie -- that made me laugh out loud. Thanks!

megamysterioso

That's good Sunshine LOL. It reminds me of some of the bands I thought were "cool" in the 80s, only to look back on them now and KNOW they were totally lame LOL.

Your attitude about this is good and I can't wait until you can get out of there and move on. Things will come together for your soon. Hang tough.

minnie

Oops. I like that train one better now, I think.

pmaslan

not me...goodness I would hate to think I've come this far to get hit
by a friggin train!!!!!! lol

LaTeeDa

I'm sorry to hear that he still hasn't accepted that it is over and is still trying to get you to change your mind. I fear this means he still has more "dirty tricks" up his sleeve. I hope not for your sake.

You do have a great attitude, and I hope you get your peace as soon as possible.

L

sunshine003

Thanks everyone. And I believe the light at the end of the tunnel is shining bright.

Lateeda, you're right....he doesn't want to lose, nobody has ever left him before. But I don't care right now what his tricks are....I do feel at peace with my outlook on him. It's as if I've accepted reality in a way I never have. I used to feel uneasy about thinking he was a snake. But it is what it is and I no longer feel uneasy about swallowing it, ALL of it. For a long time, I accepted it and that was my problem. I no longer am bound to accept his behavior....it's freeing. I no longer deny it or doubt it. I see him so clearly and realize I've been hurting myself all this time....denial hurts, the self doubt hurts, accepting lies hurt.....facing the truth the way I have, it doesn't hurt anymore. Not sure why I felt such a love loss for so long.

ASpouse

What I don't understand is how he doesn't understand that this is not longer the issue? Is he stupid? or just good at "playing" stupid? Yikes .... you can't get out of there soon enough for me!

sunshine003

He plays stupid or tries to make this the issue in order to not face the real issue. Getting out of here can't come quick enough for me either!

He is a manipulative, lost in denial, smarmy (hee hee, still love the word) , sick, lying, angry drunk. Even if he weren't an alcoholic, he is a bad person. It would take YEARS of therapy to unravel the cludder and personality flaws in his head. He's got issues, LOL

Jazzman

So what's the status on your living situation? I lived like you are for three months and it sucked the life out of me. I sure hope you have more options that just "tough it out" until someone makes a move...