imherenow

I find I want to read everything. Want to get through the Steps as fast as I can. How do I get myself to slow down and think about different topics (fear, relationships - different topics covered in Blueprint for Progress) and not try to rush things? Im already up to Step 11 in 12&12, up to Step 10 readings in AA Big Book, finished the Blueprint, still have some sharing to do w/my sponsor.

ASpouse

Isn't your sponsor going through the steps with you? Usually the sponsor will not let you move on to the next step until you have a complete understanding of each step.

What's the rush anyway? This is not something you do and then everything is miraculously OK again. It's a lifetime worth of change and it will be something you practice and continue to do throughout your life and eventually you will give back to the group.

denny57

hi imhere now

it's ok to read them all. the key, as aspouse says, is fully understanding and accepting each one. for me, that is taking time. for example, for a long time i thought i truly accepted step one. i have had many things come up in the past months that show me i have not; that i still believe there are some things out of my sphere that i can control. don't even get me started on step 3.

i think it's natural to want to rush it at first. i was very relieved once i walked through the doors of al-anon. and i thought great, all i have to do is "work these steps" and my life will get better. over the months i've learned it doesn't work that way. it is a process, lifelong, and i'm the better for it.

in this case more will be revealed could mean you will come to realize that. my only suggestion is that right now you work it any way that feels right to you. have faith and don't get discouraged if you get to the end of this marathon you're on right now and don't feel "cured."

keep us posted on how you're making out. what are you discovering about yourself through the readings and working the steps?

good luck.

Pick-a-name

Life....more revealed....reality has a way of "slowing" me down. I found lots of reading and posting,etc to be very helpful just to get a true picture of what addicition really is. When that started to become a reality, more WAS revealed........and continues to be.

Good luck.

pmaslan

When my ex was in a outpatient program there was a guy in the program
that was eating, sleeping and breathing recovery. Went to 3 meetings a
day plus his nightly outpatient 3 hour meeting. He socialized at the Alano
Club and constantly spoke of recovery. That lasted about 3 months.
One night I went to the Family meeting and found out he was in the hospital
to detox. Moderation I believe is the key to everything.
I understand how you feel. I read everything I could get my hands on in
the beginning of my recovery, went to a lot of meetings and came here
religiously...still come here religiously for that matter....lol
My therapist told me several months ago to ease up a bit, read something fun,
do something fun. I did and it has helped me to slow down.
You will find a pace that is right for you.

deettah

Well, I am in the early stages myself and I can say that this has been hard for me also. I have to remind myself that it's easy to read stuff, commit it to memory and talk a good game. The hard part is stepping outside of your body, looking at what your life has become, getting up the courage to change it and then actually doing it! Eeeek! It will help for you to pace yourself. You owe it to yourself to take your time and sad to say that it is a possibility that your sponsor may not be the right one for you. They need to take the time with you and truly work hard. If it was as easy as reading a book, we would all be healed and SR wouldn't exist.

Pick-a-name

Another important part of our program is doing something nice for ME! everyday....took a while before I put that into practice...I do now. That is a very important thing,I think. I didn't think I "neglected" myself, but I did and probably still could become more self-centered, in a good way. It adds more balance to my life,too. (These are things not directly involved with recovery..like working out, going out for lunch, painting, taking a class, spa day,etc,etc).

LaTeeDa

Pick is absolutely right. I am the same way. I want to read, read, read, and do, do, do. It's one thing to understand recovery, quite another to practice and *live* it.

I don't think there is anything wrong with getting as much information as you can. And it's a very normal codie tendancy to want to fix things as soon as we see something isn't right. Even with ourselves. As long as you aren't fooling yourself into thinking that an intellectual understanding of recovery is all you need, you will be fine.

L

Minx1969

I did a lot of reading before I even went into the rooms of Alanon..

Read "Codependent No more" about 3 times etc. etc.

But truly a lightbulb went on and I had a spirtual awakening when I was open and got involved in my program..

things I had read before REALLY started to resonate at my core...

Reading everything isn't going to make sense all at once.

Give it time - work the program with your sponsor..Not everyone completes all 12 steps in the first year..some people it takes a few years to even truly do step 1.