livingfor2

haven't been here for awhile, lost my AW (AW ? she was the love of my life , my soul mate, hardly deserving of this meaningless little abreviation), miss her terribly , i'm over the anger about the alchohol. but i am and will be dealing with not having her around. i honestly beleive that we were mean't to be together, and that is why i chose to stay with her. for every bad time i can remember several good times, of course , i remember the arguing, yelling , and the hurtful things we said to each other. we always said i love you , though and i can remember her smile and laugh and many many wonderful things. she was a good person , always caring about others, i just wish she would have focused more on herself. i am writing today, i guess as a release. there are so many people to talk to , but are they really listening? thanx for letting me get this out and thanx to all the people who replied when i first wrote. i guess i'll stop by from time to time and say hi.

DesertEyes

Hey there living,

Glad you dropped by to say hi. We saved a seat for you

I lost my wife of 19yrs to addiction not too long ago. I can relate to some of what you said in your post. My pain and regrets are less each day. Most of the time I can look at the good times we had and feel good that I had such a wonderful life with her before the addiction took hold. Now I'm focusing on getting my life back together again. I'm straightening out my health (5 heart attacks tends to mess things up ) getting back into work (currently with a temp agency building up a work history after being out sick for 7 months) and making new friends.

I had a great life once, with my soulmate. This program of recovery has taught me that I can have a great life again, different from the one I had, but still good.

Stop by more often, we can always use a fresh perspective and the encouragement of knowing that people overcome these nightmares.

Mike

Zoey

living, so glad to see you, please do come often, we care and understand.

pmaslan

Just wanted to welcome you back....
I hope that you are getting some support for yourself
through therapy or alanon....
Stop by more and let us know how well you are doing....

Cynay

Welcome back Living...

I hope that you continue to come back often.... we are glad to have ya.

Everyday will get easier and hurt less, remember to be gentle with yourself and just the cycle take its course.

daddysgirl29

Hi Living, and welcome back. You've been through a lot - please be good to yourself. The good times always sneak back into our memory, don't they? Plus, I've always heard that if you feel like you gave more than you received, it's somehow harder(?) Not sure if that fits you, but yes, we're here and yes, we'll listen. Promise.

Hugs,
DG

FriendofBill

I couldnt tell from your post if you lost her to death or to addiction. I guess it doesnt matter, they are both really the same.

I feel your pain, intensely. The man that I loved for 23 years has been taken again by alcoholism. He is alive, he breathes, but he is not anyone I recognize. He has abandoned me, our son...everything beautiful that he once loved and cherished. He has become a monster..............

It is a living death. We know he exists somewhere on this earth, but we dont have any relationship with him, and we miss him. Sometimes so much the pain is unbearable. I feel he has been kidnapped by this horrid disease and we will never see him again...therefore he is dead to us.

I hope it helps you to know that you are not alone, we have been there too, and together, we can get better....a day a time. Keep coming back to the site...

hugs

denny57

Welcome back, living

Yes, I understand what you are saying. I lost my soulmate to alcohol. He was my best friend, partner in life and business. I still hope he will find recovery one day. The recovery I have found already has been wonderful and I look forward to getting better each day. I hope you are doing things for yourself. Do you go to Al-Anon or therapy?