2stop

Just wanted to drop these off for you.............

....and some ****{Hugs}}} too.......gotta get those daily hugs.

ndgrace

Wow , I needed that too, thanks for being so uplifting all the time!

2stop

For you my friend.............

**********{ndgrace}}}}}}}........................

Change4life

Thanks Tammie! Yoe have no idea the impact you have had on me, no idea at all. You are a bodhisattva of recovery. You are an honest. sharing, and caring individual who always try to uplift me. Your thoughts, words, flowers and hugs have made me really want to get out of the revolving door onto the sobriety side. The caring and advice you and others here on sr have given me have made me really try to look at my self and my situation differently. I have even given serious thought to going to some type of rehab. A huge obstacle is my social anxiety, the thought of living in a space with a group of other people makes me feel like I am going to pass out. the last time I was on a bus I had to get off because I felt like I was being buried alive. Took me 2 hours to walk home, but I couldnt take the confined feeling.
Anyway thank you for the flowers! Many ******{hugs}}}} to you also.
Luv,
Beth

Done_With_It

Beth,

If you tell them that about your social anxiety they can help you work with that.
It's much different than a bus, I know what you mean busses are terrible sometimes.
I even get anxiety on them.

They tend to try and not make them small, but big and open so everyone can have their space.

I hope you keep going the direction of rehab because you deserve it.

2stop

I was looking for you this morning....theer you are. I see your strength Beth. I also knwo what social anxiety can do..what it can strip away from you. Anxiety was they number one reason I used....well..until I HAD to use to be 'normal'.

For me Zoloft helped...it may take something different for you! Please seek help for it! I resisted a long time.felt trapped, forgotten, crazy.and alone. I couldn't drive for 7 years because I would nearly black out with the panic....I got my drivers license again this past November!!! I still cry about it! For me,it is a miracle............a real life miracle.....

I am stil rooting here for ya.as we all are. But I have to tell you.all posts touch my heart.they do....but something about yours......just has me praying double time for you...........come back to the light my friend...........your life is waiting.

Love ya! I am just happy and so blessed myself for this site............it was no accidentt hat brought you here...............

You can do it!!! One step at a time........whatever I can do to help encourage you..just ask.

******{warmest hugs ever!}}}}}}

Change4life

I had the same problem with driving I took myself off the road for over 2 years, but once I got a job that I needed transportation to get to it was less stressful to drive than take the train, so I got back behind the wheel.I bit my nails of to little stubs, but it eventually got better. Having a room mate is also going to be a problem, on top of anxiety I am pretty germaphobic. if someone sneezes or coughs near me I hold my breath, I wont touch anything in public places without covering my hands, I avoid malls or any place that is recycled air, If I eat in a restaurant I wash the silverware before I use it, I always carry my own pen which I wont let anyone else use, and I wont drink behind anyone, not even my mother, if I even think someone drank out of my cup I dump it out. Even when I use to get my hair cut I brought my own sizzors and brush. if I have to stay in a motel or hotel i have to wash the tub before I will use it, and i bring my own pillows, and blankets. I freak if someone touches my guitar, I usually take off the strings clean the fret board and restring it. It is bizzare, and somewhat annoying, but I cant help it. I even use to stash a personal bar of soap at my house, didnt want to share that either. Change my toothbrush every week, etc.. If I were to go to rehab I might have to cover myself in a plastic bubble. i cant share a shower without cleaning it first, and I just dont know how I will react.

2stop

It sounds liek OCD to me........I also have been diagnose with OCD.but I don't have the germ phobia part. There is an excellent book that helped me with some exercises to tame it down a bit.....like I mentioned earlier.Zoloft helepd em also.and eliminating the drugs from my system.for sooo long I thought the drugs helped ease the anxity and troubling thoughts,...only was making it worse......it's sooo hard.OCD literally makes your body HURT.........my brain felt like it was being crushed and twisted with vice grips on the worst days.......

That book is called Brain Lock.can't remember the author.will go check right now for you.if ya could get it out at the library.....it is very very good..........

I am so glad you see you today.....****{Beth}}}..........

Change4life

I will try to find the book, Thanks ******{Tammie}}}}

2stop

**************{bfree}}}}}}}}}}

Oh please do.it is really really good.........some of the stories in it helped me not feel soo "crazy" and "alone"............

I am really glad to see ya tonight........*hugs*