aztchr

I had a wonderful day off, went to an early birthday lunch treated by my mom and aunt, went window shopping, and showed them the apartment complex I'd like to move into when we sell the house..feeling very happy and positive...still am by the way, but...not sure if I should at my house until it sells or go somewhere else for the time being...

When I got home from my mom's, ex-abf started asking about furniture that was going to take when we move bed, washer/dryer etc. Since a few things were bought together, he said he didn't want them, I could have them and pay him half of the cost (He's all about getting more money right now.)
I said fine, no problem. I even wrote everything out, he signed it and made a copy.

I thought that was the end of it. Surprise! He was on a roll tonight. The verbal abuse started by telling me that I'll be making out better than he will when we sell the house and he got nothing when we refinanced, my credit card was paid off and then the name calling started, then the family insults, I kept my cool and didn't really respond, he kept it up, I left the room to straighten up other rooms in the house (prospective buyers coming tomorrow), he followed me continuing to be a broken record, blah blah blah. I told him I wanted to relax and have a nice birthday/holiday weekend. I wasn't going to respond or fight about anything. Then he proceeded to mock me and said Happy Birthday, B___. That's what you are. I hope you go to h__. Yeah, whatever.

I was ready to leave and just go to my mom's tonight, but I was tired and it's over 40 minutes away. Instead I went to the bookstore for peace and a cup of coffee. He'd never follow me there. Haha! This way I also didn't "abandon" the house, which he likes to throw at me since I left before to figure out if I could accept his behavior. NO, I will not!! Not like it really matters anyway. The house is for sale and its a community property state.

I returned home to of course find him passed out in the chair. I'm really weighing what to do until the house sells. When I want to be home, I don't want to have to stay away all day until he passes out, but I also don't want to listen to him. I just want to be moved out and done with it all!! I'm so ready to make a fresh start! That's what is keeping me strong and positive. I know what he says is not true! I'm not even upset by it anymore. I'm just tired of it. Patience, I know. I thought it could be civil around here. I'm trying my best with what I have to work with each night.

Good thing the bookstore is close!

prodigal

Hey, at least you're living in a large city like Phoenix where you have options as to where you can go to get away. I'm stuck in Yuma with a raging alkie. Talk about NOTHING to do and NOWHERE to go!! I've been to an attorney to find out what I need to do in a community property state. I'm a native Marylander and divorce/separation/property division is much different back there. My attorney told me to stay put in the house until everything is finalized - when I file a petition for separation. If I leave and get my own place prior to filing, it could be considered desertion. Actually, that doesn't matter too much since Arizona is also a no-fault state.

Since you're not married to him, do you have the option of putting your stuff in storage and moving in with a friend or getting your own apartment until the house sells? You have my heart-felt sympathy because I know what it is like to have a drunk go off on a rant, blah, blah, blah, quack, quack, quack. I have found that before my AH gets too mouthy, I just grab my cats, get in the car, and find a local motel to crash at. Fortunately, the jerk generally is the one to slam the door and leave - gotta love that drama! I also have numerous excuses to drive up to Phoenix on a regular basis. I have some favorite haunts in Scottsdale, Tempe and Chandler and I really enjoy myself.

I hope your house sells soon so you can get the maniac outta your hair for good!!

best

I guess if you are going to stay at the house, you have a good plan in place. The book store should hire you *LOL*

Happy Birthday as well.

aztchr

Hi Prodigal,

Thanks for replying so quickly. Financially, I can't pay for both mortgage and apartment costs. I had stayed at my aunt's for about a month and can go back there anytime. I'm considering it again. I came back to try to detach and accept living with an "A" in denial, but I can't do it and don't want to anymore. I wish he would leave on occasion, though so I could enjoy my house for a little bit without him. He's too stubborn, though and selfish.

At least I know I can always type here for support! There's such strength in the number of people who understand what I'm going through!

aztchr

[QUOTE=best]I guess if you are going to stay at the house, you have a good plan in place. The book store should hire you *LOL*

Funny you mention that! I have thought about it for a summer job.

best

I never looked on the bottle for contents inside.
From personal experience, I am sure that stubborn and selfish must be in each can or bottle. Though I can still be stubborn at times, my selfishness is subsided greatly.

I sure wouldn't have put up with me. Sure am glad my wife did though.
I sit in amazement at the strength and conviction of all who deal with alcoholics.