Timebuster

I hesitated coming on line yesterday to SR. I am very sadden with the lost of Trish ((Miracle)). Yesterday I celebrated my two years. One of the very first people I met here was Trish. I remember having a very hard time in the beginning when I first came to SR. I was going through some difficult times so many changes and different feelings. I wanted recovery so bad but the obsession to use was beating me down. I keep on posting here like my life depended on it, and it did. Every one that responded to my posts help me tremendously. The encouraging words I got from all of you keep me from using one more day.

My heart and soul was ready for recovery but my mind still wanted one more pill or one more drink. As we say in the rooms keep coming back it works if you work it. That is exactly what I did here in SR I kept coming back. I still remember the day I posted about living in NJ and I was also complaining about the NA meetings too. Until one of you responded with Timebuster NJ is not the problem you’re the problem. What I don’t hear is surrender when are you going to surrender to your disease. Well that statement hit me like a ton of bricks. Needless to say that was exactly what I needed to hear.

I needed to Surrender to this disease if I wanted to live and I did. Here I am two years later living on life terms. Working the program to the best of my ability one day at a time. I am very grateful for Sober Recovery but I am super grateful for the person who open my eyes when she said Timebuster when are you going to surrender to your disease. Thank you Trish. God put you in my life for a reason… One addict helping another.

But I celebrate my anniversary with a heavy heart, am angry, am sad and I feel somewhat guilty because I wasn’t there for her like she was for me.. “God Grant Me The Serenity”

Thanks for letting me share.

Peace and Love
Ivan

Phinneas

Beautiful post, Ivan.

And, yes, you are honoring her by being and staying clean and sober.

Congrats on your 2 years. That is part of the miracle that will always be with us.

Timebuster

Thanks SoLost

I appreciate your kind words.
Yes clean and sober one day at a time

Ivan

Timebuster

Thanks You Phinneas

Thank You

Ivan

Ann

Congratulations Timebuster, and I know Trish would be honoured that you remembered that. That's just how she was to most of us, the person who was always there with just the right thing to say and a heart of gold.

She'd be proud of you today, we all are, so celebrate and pass it along to the next newcomer who struggles. That's how it works and I'm glad it worked for you.

Hugs,

Anna

Ivan,

I know Trish would be thrilled for you to be celebrating your 2nd anniversary. I'm glad you came back and posted.

Justme57

Hi Time , congratulations on your 2 years . Trish and I came here almost the same time, and she was a staunch friend, and a "miracle" herself. She would be so proud that we are still around clean and sober.

it is the best way we can honour her memory

HUGX
Lee

Timebuster

Thanks You Ann Anna Lee

Yes your right she is proud of us. And yes she definitely would have been thrilled. I feel so awful, not until today is when I fund out the setback that she had encountered in her life. I was away from SR for such a long time that I lost track of everyone. I am so upset with myself that I didn’t get a chance to communicate with her. Anyway this to shall pass. Ann, Anna, Lee Thank you for receiving me with open arms


Ivan