aasharon90

Hi, Im Sharon an im an Alcoholic.

Ive been postin for a little while here and not new to AA. This site has been great for my recovery. Now, my question is.....if my husband would like to test the water out here with the Al-anon and me of course in AA, Im wondering if other husband and wives work their program on here with out it causing a conflict in the marriage. Not to say we dont have any because we certainly do. Its kinda hard with only one working some kind of a program and the other is just existing. My husband went to several Al-anon meetings way at the begiining of my sobriety and learned one word. DETTACH. But he never uses it much. I mean he knows about it but he hasnt had alot of al-anon to use it effectively. Im not really sure if he will even come here for suggestions or not, but i could suggest it to him and let him make his own decision. Hey it wouldnt hurt. And believe me with 24 yrs marriage and one alcoholic in the family we surely need all the help we can get. Maybe i should come completely clean here in AA before he comes on here bashing me...lol I will admit. im no SAINT. : ) So any couples out there that can share with me how u guys handle this in ur marriages or relationships , i would gratelly appreciate it.

Thanks for letting me share.

Don S

If he has tried AlAnon and it didn't 'click', here is another site he might be interested in:
http://www.empoweredrecovery.com/index.htm

I'm sure others will be along to tell you how things worked in their marriage and recovery options.
Don S

aasharon90

Thanks Don I have it bookmarked. Will show my husband when he gets home from work. Maybe he will look at it anytime before he dies. : ) That's in his own time. : )

JPMyra

I was sober for a year and a half while my husband is active alcoholic, I started back up and things got really bad and the law got involved and now I am trying to stay sober and it is very difficult while my husband is actively drinking. I live out in the woods an cant drive due to medical problems so I dont know what to do.

sugarbear1

I know many couples who are in AA/Al Anon. They often hold a meeting between the two to work out problems.

I think it's great for both of you!

JPMyra

My husband does not want to stop,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

Dee74

Welcome back JPMyra

I can't get out of the house much either so SR has been really helpful for me - the support here helped me through many a rough day.

Have you tried things like AA before? SMART?
You might find there's online options for meetings in whatever you like

D

aasharon90

WOW.....I posted that in April of 2006 and
separated with a move back to my hometown
of Baton Rouge with a job interview while
my then husband decided to live in Houston.

Here I was yrs sober, working my program,
hanging on to dear life, unhappy and discontent
in my marriage looking for answers to save
my long marriage.

With much prayers, I was answered with a job
"ticket" to get out of my marriage and move
forward in my life and recovery.

My spouse was supportive of me returning to
B.R. but as far as our marriage, we both knew
we couldnt stay married and live apart. So in
agreement we ended our marriage very peacefully.
Thanks to my HP for His guidance, love and care.

My spouse never went back to Al-anon and didnt
see it as something important to save the marriage
and with just me in a recovery program, we remained
on different planets lacking understanding and
communication.

Today, we have both remarried with no communication.

Happy and content am I sober for 21 yrs continueing
on my recovery journey sharing my own experiences,
strengths and hopes with those struggling with addiction.


JPMyra.....

For me, I had to take care of me and my own recovery
because it meant that much to me. Going to any lengths
to stay sober and seek peace, happiness in my life.

Some marriages do survive and are healthy when both
are practicing some sort of recovery program. I think it
is awesome to see both as a couple sitting in meetings
together supporting each other. How happy they look
together.

I wanted that so much, but it didnt happen in my first
marriage sad to say.

Today im remarried and in a healthy happy marriage
where we r both in recovery, but i work my program
and he does his own thing. and we both know that
without a recovery program we certainly wouldnt
be enjoying the promises granted to us as stated in
our Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous.

Take care of you is important and to remember we
cant change another person as much as we may
try or want to.