Sasha1208

I hope no one gets angry that I posting here. I appologize in advance. I just have a quick question regarding drug addiction and recovery and feelings towards the co-dependant. When in recovery do you start to resent the co-dependant/enabling people in your life?

Dawn10

Sasha,

I don't think there is any "magic moment" or realization. It will be different for each person. I think that when you have those feelings, recognize that they are valid and take some positive, constructive measures to keep yourself healthy.

Peace,
Dawn

Pick-a-name

Why would that be?..........sounds like "shifting the blame" and making excuses to me; again. JMO (ie addictive thinking) Their "enabling" is them reacting to a problem that in any other circumstance (no addiction) would be considered to be treating a person in a loving and caring way. Why should they be made to feel responsible for the progression,etc of YOUR disease? or would you have expected they to walk away from you as soon as they experienced any negative consquence from your addiction? Where are their own choices here? I find this confusing, at best. Maybe I misunderstood the question, but how are the "codies" in that postion when they didn't cause it, can't control it or cure it?

Perhaps it is good for us all to look at this issue from all sides. Interesting. I'm curious to see what others think. thanks

Gooch

I went through a period of resentment toward my father who kept bailing me out of situation after situation. I belive it to be a part of the process of accepting responsability for recovery. It says in the text we are not responsible for our disease, but we are responsible for our recovery.

I remember early sharing that I "came from a dysfunctional family" Heck I caused more than my share of dysfunction in the family. At that point in my recovery I was working on the staying clean part. Trying to accepot the full weight of all the harm I did in my active addiction at that part was impossible for me then. I wasn't emotionally mature enough at that point.

Pick-a-name

Gooch.....that makes lots of sense to me. It is a process for everyone involved. Thanks. I guess that is "reason" why the steps are worked in the order that they are (for all of us). Your answers show me a good illustration of what true recovery is all about...it is inspiring and gives me hope.

Sasha1208

Thanks for your replies...I just want to clarify that I was the enabler/Co-Dependent person in an addictive relationship. He is now in rehab and I am trying to put myself back together. He doesn't think that we have a future together (we've been together for 15 years) so I am just trying to gain some type of understanding. I am working on my own recovery. Working on my own 12 steps for my co-depency and I am starting to feel very guilty reading some of the posts on here. I was unaware that I was actually helping him to stay addictive. I'm just trying to gain some knowledge...

Gooch

My mom use to get upset everytime she heard the phrase "dysfunctional family" for many years. Whether she read it in print. heard somebody utter it in a televiosn show, or it came up in conversation. I learned not to use the term in front of her. lol I couldn't understand how she could let a treatment term like that cause such an emotional reaction. Until I could understand my disease I couldn't fathom codependancy either. Eventually I began to see how the root of both conditions is based in self esteem, lack of faith and unrealistic expectations we place on ourselves and others.