somehow i wanna live.
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somehow i wanna live.
Hello, I just found this site and have been reading posts all morning. Very interesting and reassuring. I was looking for some kind of help in my city, but came up empty so far. I have just emerged from a violent 3 yr relationship in which i started drinking with my partner. I kept my wounds suitably medicated for much of the relationship. 5 charges and 2 serious injuries later i have finally had enough. I realized that i would never stay sober in that relationship.
I am afraid now in a huge house all alone that the fears and lack of confidence will keep me from reclaiming my life, which i sincerely relinquished to my abuser.
I come from abuse in chidhood, spent ten years in violence after that then spent the next 14 yrs recovering through art, I cant believe for a second that I am back here, in pain, fighting for my life and addicted to pain killers and alcohol. I just wanted, no needed to do this and the courage of others lent me my ability to write this. Thank you! I would like to ask some questions about physical well- being and recovery, how long it may take to feel less toxic and stronger?
The medications the doctor supplied were very strong and I abused them at times when i couldnt sleep for the pain. It has been 5 days since the last charge against my partner, and four days since I took my last pain pill. I dont feel any need to take them now
I dont think that will be a struggle i hope. But i will be coming out of alcohol, cigarettes and a seemingly co dependant relationship. I need to not go through this alone, both my parents are dead from drinking and smoking, both at an early age. I don't want to follow in thier footsteps, I want to make my own path back to Creator, knowing I can do it with less pain, more wisdom and hope. Thank you again for hearing me out. I will be needing some way to hang on. stonewolf
I am afraid now in a huge house all alone that the fears and lack of confidence will keep me from reclaiming my life, which i sincerely relinquished to my abuser.
I come from abuse in chidhood, spent ten years in violence after that then spent the next 14 yrs recovering through art, I cant believe for a second that I am back here, in pain, fighting for my life and addicted to pain killers and alcohol. I just wanted, no needed to do this and the courage of others lent me my ability to write this. Thank you! I would like to ask some questions about physical well- being and recovery, how long it may take to feel less toxic and stronger?
The medications the doctor supplied were very strong and I abused them at times when i couldnt sleep for the pain. It has been 5 days since the last charge against my partner, and four days since I took my last pain pill. I dont feel any need to take them now
I dont think that will be a struggle i hope. But i will be coming out of alcohol, cigarettes and a seemingly co dependant relationship. I need to not go through this alone, both my parents are dead from drinking and smoking, both at an early age. I don't want to follow in thier footsteps, I want to make my own path back to Creator, knowing I can do it with less pain, more wisdom and hope. Thank you again for hearing me out. I will be needing some way to hang on. stonewolf
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Stone --
You've come to the right place! I think you will find that this site has many people who can and will help you. Don't be surprised when you get information on exactly how to get help in your area... trust me on this one. I don't feel comfortable giving you specific advise, I've been in and out of recovery many times ... so I consider myself a "Newcommer" just like you. Take this sugguestion, it's the best one I can offer - KEEP COMING BACK ! Help is near -----
Good Luck !
You've come to the right place! I think you will find that this site has many people who can and will help you. Don't be surprised when you get information on exactly how to get help in your area... trust me on this one. I don't feel comfortable giving you specific advise, I've been in and out of recovery many times ... so I consider myself a "Newcommer" just like you. Take this sugguestion, it's the best one I can offer - KEEP COMING BACK ! Help is near -----
Good Luck !
Member
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: Plainfield, New Jersey USA
Posts: 491
Stone, welcome to the recovery forum. there are many things that we can talk about on the page but sound as though you need some immediate help right there and right now. go to the website and get back to us.
http://www.afm.mb.ca
Just for today-------I am Sober
http://www.afm.mb.ca
Just for today-------I am Sober
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Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Santa Fe,NM.USA
Posts: 28
Im sorry to hear about your parents and the stressful situation that you are in. I would like to encourage you to take one step at a time With #1 you being in a safe place,#2 a back up plan in case your safety is threatanded, a neighbor or friend that you can call on, or run to in the middle of the night. For me I not only relapsed in a previously domestic violent marriage but I became addicted to the stress related to the violence in it. Until I finnally accepted the fact that I was the one doing the violence to myself, by allowing it, by staying, and by entertaining negative thoughts about myself. My realapes frequently accompanied intense feelings of guilt, until I realized that my initial foregiveness was tainted by conditions, thats when I started to learn how to forgive myself unconditionally, that helped me, and I hope it helps you!!
Im Ok - youre OK
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: UK
Posts: 250
stonewolf,
well done,i really admire you for having the strength to do what you are doing,i feel that maybe i can do it too,i have a similar background to you,and if you can do then maybe i can. you are inspiring me.im so scared,but when iread about people taking their first steps back,confident and hopeful..its so cool.well done,im thinking of you.clancyxx
well done,i really admire you for having the strength to do what you are doing,i feel that maybe i can do it too,i have a similar background to you,and if you can do then maybe i can. you are inspiring me.im so scared,but when iread about people taking their first steps back,confident and hopeful..its so cool.well done,im thinking of you.clancyxx
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Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Santa Fe,NM.USA
Posts: 28
Heres the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence contact info. they can help you find a safe place near you. 1 800 799-7233 or check out <A HREF=http://www.ncadv.org>www.ncadv.org</A> for additional information.
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