rooroo

I have to tell myself that it is a good morning every day. It has only been a week since my H has been gone. First, 5 days jail, than 30 days at rehab. He invited me to go to church with him this morning. I am excited and nervous all at the same time. I am just hurt by his lies and how I am left holding the house by myself. Not that I am unable to do it, however, I really haven't been doing a great job, but we are struggling through it. The past week, pretty exciting for me here, between my daughter getting in trouble with the police, someone breaking into my work, losing a dog, my family (inlaws) harrasment, what else could happen right? I try not think about what bad things may or may not happen. I am trying to concentrate on the positive things. Leke the responsiblity that my daughter have has no choice to accept. The team work I am trying to get going in the house between the kids to take care of business. One week does not dictate how the next 4 weeks are going to go. It is all a learning process. I have to thank everyone here for posting the wise words and reminders everyday. If I did not go through what I am going through I would not be able to see the good things that I will accomplish. I did already figure something out. I have got to be the most boring person. I bored myself! I will take this as a clue to find a hobby, read a book do something right? I have learned that laundry is not as exciting as it looks. My goal today... find something fun to do.. housework will be there tomorrow and the day after that. Take advantage of the free moments I have to spend with the kids.

CarolD

My R/X....a long bubble bath and a bowl of ice cream.

Pick-a-name

Yes, know what you are saying.................it's not that I CAN'T do it, I really don't want to do it (mine is not in treatment..he walked out to drink, found OW and is coming over to help me figure out some financial stuff today because he is divorcing me; he's handled all the finances for 27 yr and I've been a stay at home mom for 24 yr).

I find it overwhelming and frustrating...BUT I am lucky the kids are here with me; more work, but much more pluses!

Good luck....keep plugging along. Yes, the house work does wait.......lots of mine has been waiting a very long time. Oh, well.

mushroom

Boy when it rains it pours, doesn't it??

You'll pull through just fine. tired and angry probably but you'll be all right.

You're on the right track with making time for fun things. Life isn't all work, too depressing that way.

What are you doing for your own mental health, and that of your kids, while your H is in rehab? you're all under stress from the things he did to land him there, and now the stress of him being gone. Al Anon and Al aTeen are free. So's this forum. But you might need something more personal and one on one than this forum can provide, or even Al Anon meetings.

I found the family meetings at the rehab center my AH went to (6x in one year) to be worthless. But you might try them if they're offered to you.

denny57

Hi roo

Sounds like you know it's time to start taking care of yourself. It isn't easy when you've been used to doing it another way, but gets easier the more you practice. Good luck and be good to yourself.

rooroo

I am so glad I did go to church today with my husband. It isn't a regular church it is Recovery Church. Not what I am acustom to, but it was nice to see him. I was nervous at first, even drove away once. I was nervous because I was hurt and wasn't quite sure what to say. When I pulled in, I just let him say the first hello and then everything fell into place. When I got home, I did what I wanted. I took the little one out and had a special lunch and she appreciated that. It was good. Came home and got my phone call in and then took a nap!

I do go to Alanon meetings and individual counseling. We will go to family counseling after he gets home. It is all in the program I am in. The kids fight me about Ala-teen. Every night I go to Alanon I always ask if they want to go. I use my book that I have to locate meetings everynight of the week. I pray that someday one of the kids will say yes. I know it will help the oldest one, one day I just may be strong enough to make her go. never know what my HP can do.