bonbon

I had never heard about the saying "theres an elephant in my living room" until I first came here a few years back. Thats why I have these cute little dancing elephants for my avatar. For the past few months since my x-A , and father to my daughter passed away, I allowed another A into my life, and was heading straight down that road yet again. I was staring the disease of addiction dead in the eyes every single day. The elephant in my life, in my home, that I allowed in, I made leave today. I already got my phone call from him a while ago, whereas he had been drinking and he was crying, wanting me back, wanting to know what I was going to do about our baby, (I am expecting by him) and all of that. I explained to him one more time what I told him earlier today when I got home from work. I cannot, and willnot go down this road again. I have to think about my daughter, and myself, and what is healthy for us. I have come so far. I clung onto him after my A died because the unhealthyness of the relationship was what I knew. It was what I felt was right, and it may have been masked differently, may have taken me a minute to accept it, but it was still an elephant. And sitting where I am now, and with what I have learned, I just thank god I can run the other way. My daughter and I will be ok, I still need to work on me, I still have a situation with a new life here that I have to decide on what would be best to do. I want to make the right choice, one I can live with. One I can feel at peace with. I know Im not done with me, and even knowing the work I may have cut out to do, I'm hell bent on getting there. One minute at a time if thats what it takes.

minnie

(((bonbon)))

I like your thinking. Getting ourselves healthy is the only way to go, in my book.

We're all here to lean on if you need us.

cwohio

sounds like your recovery is back on the right track bonbon! good for you!

cupowater

Sounds like you made the right decision! (((((bonbon)))))

osier59

((bonbon))

You've come a long way, baby! I have had a similar experience, where it felt like I traded for the same guy, different face... but I am learning. This time it took MONTHS instead of YEARS, and by the grace of God I didn't marry him.

Don't beat yourself up. Recovery is a process. And we're learning. Take it a day at a time, give up to your HP that over which you are powerless, and you'll get your answers

Many hugs
Barb

Ann

(((Bonbon)) Dear friend, you have always been an inspiration to me, your light has always made my world a better place, and never have I seen you shine so bright as you shine today!!

Special blessings to you and that dear baby you carry.

Hugs,

splendra

(((bonbon))))


You go girl!!

denny57

Sounds like you made a good decision. I'm still at a stage where I swear that in the future I will never get involved with someone who drinks ANY alcohol. It's always great to hear and be reminded of our choices and our ability to learn from the past. Thanks. All the best with the new baby.

bonbon

thats just it you guys. thank you for the wonderful replies. I don't even know if I can head down the road of having this baby. Alot of thoughts and feelings I am trying to sort through.

Gabe

Bonbon, I swear you must have caught my vibe. I was just thinking about you yesterday and wondering how you were doing.
Love and light from me to you.

sunshine003

wow. strange what we can do to ourselves sometimes. good luck to you bon bon!

It does sound as if you have a lot to sort through, especially regarding your pregnancy. I for one, believe it is only your decision. Remember though, what seems impossible today might not be so tomorrow. A new baby, although a lot of work, can be so healing. My mom told me something once when I was expecting at the worst possible time, she said, "the accidents turn out to be the biggest blessings..." She was so right. I have one of those and she is such a wonderful part of my heart. Good luck whatever you decide.