tyler

Would anyone be interested in starting a group or mailing list of current, former and recovering potheads. It's hard because pot is one of those drugs that everyone just says "Oh it's just pot" You can make excuses for years and have other people support it. I can buy a 12 pack and just drink a beer, but give me a quarter bag and I won't stop smoking untill it is gone. If anyone is interested, especially if you've had a problem with pot and have had success dealing with it, please post,

Thanks

SAngelfive

Hi Tyler

I know what you mean about pot.So here is my post.I have been of it 10 years on june 12.

Cassy

Hi Tyler. Pot has been my drug of choice for 30 years. "Oh, it`s just pot" is right up there with "I`m not an alcoholic, I just drink beer" and valiums are "mother`s little helper". If a substance has that hold on you, it doesn`t matter what type of drug it is. You`re an addict and so am I. The steps to recovery are the same. I went through hell detoxing off valium, then relapsed, on pot! Check out an NA or AA meeting and you`ll see that we are all the same, only our drugs of choice are different.

Redeemed

Hi Tyler:

In recovery we are not interested in your drug of choice, how much you used or who your connections were. Like Cassy said, a drug is a drug is a drug. I learned the hard way to put more focus on my recovery and hang with the winners, than focus on who does what drug. I found that in the rooms we have many things in common....One being...We admitted we were powerless over our addictions and that our lives were unmanagable.

With that said.. I'll share this... I smoked my first joint in An Hoa, South Vietnam.. March 6, 1966.. That was the beginning of my journey... My using progressed to all the above...Thirty Three years later...I surrendered. Hope it doesn't take you or anyone else that long..

God Bless Tyler..

------------------
Serenity is not freedom from the storm but peace amid the storm....

RovenRev

loci

yo,
am brand new just now so i dont really know what i am doing. i quit weed bout 3months ago and the only help i had was some councillor who had the same view i hear you guys saying and that is that pot is an easy drug ot get caught up in. i hav now realised though what i mess i have let my life get into and i kinda just want some support from people who have been in the situation i have. because i got to admit the longer am clean the more i want it. all it seems is to me is that since quittin i hav lost more than i have gained. i no longer have any friends or people to socialise with. i spend most of ma time sittin round ma house. or sat in a house were weed is always on the menu an there is only so many times i can so no before i slip and just say yes. since quittin i have found that i have come close to developing a dependancy to both alcohol and gamblin and even as i am typin this all those cravins are burnin me up but i want to carry on in case some reads this an can relate to what i am syain. i strongly agree that pot can ruin a life because it has destroyed mine and there is no1 i know at the moment who can understand that. if anyone ever ses to me agen it just a joint i think i may jus shoot em. i am beggin tho seriously please help i dont wanna go bak agen but i am runnin outta strength to carry on by my self i jus wanna talk to some1 who knows were i am comin from.

shockozulu

Welcome to SR Loci. I am working on my recovery from prescription pills every day. And I still hear "Its just a prescription" over and over. Even after the Anna Nicole Smith death. I hear the same about Pot. What people do not get is that you are right, it is just as serious. It is illegal for a reason.

What I have learned is that it does not matter what they think, it matters what I think. And I think my addiction was out of control.

I noticed that you are beginning to use alcohol. That is common in addicts. If we do not get our drug of choice we will move to another drug and abuse that one instead. Please notice this and stop using. NA says "A drug is a drug" and I do believe there is much truth to that.

Have you considered looking at 12-step meetings such as AA or NA? There are other forms of recovery as well but most people start with these. Since they are face to face meetings, they keep you busy and you get a chance to socialize and get out of the house, something you seem to be having problems with at the moment.

Welcome to SR and I am sure some others will come along to offer their ES&H (experience strength and hope) to you as well.

Ten Chips Down

LOL omg this is crazy!!! (I'm not referring to you Loci, you're new so it's all cool. ) I had this LONG reply written up to Redeem only to realize this topic was posted FIVE YEARS AGO TO THE MONTH. LOL!!!!

Now i must try and at least re-word my reply because it would be unfair to Redeem, who is no longer active. Cassy either, for that matter.

Ah, but Tyler is... and I was just going to say that I think it's a great question to put out there myself. We have many different flavors of the classic 12-Step group because different drugs sometimes attract different lifestyles and different user groups.

Many in AA cannot stand NA meetings. LOL Depending on the area, they can be quite different in culture and even language.

Many alcoholics never use anything else at all.

Many pill addicts are Rx addicts and never touch the "street scene" that comes with illegal drugs like coke. Like meth. Like smack. Like pot.

Finally, we all know that not everyone, both clean and still using, subscribes to 12-Step principles!

So I just think variety is always good.

I never smoked weed but this subject is a small peeve of mine. Those posts are 5 years old, yet we still need reminders of the obvious: There are people who continue to duke it out on here and for some alien reason, feel inclined to join discussions of people for whom pot is clearly an issue and argue, "oh please pot ain't nuthin'."

So people putting out feelers and relating as Tyler did is always a good thing, I say .

Loci welcome. You definitely want to avoid falling headlong into alcoholism, which can easily happen when the signs are there and so is the person's history. You definitely are tempting the snake by hanging where people are using all around you. Don't be a fool. Heed your signs. Get help and cease those high-risk ways of passing your time.

Ten

sleepingugly

hey tyler! i must say i completely understand what you're going through. not only am i a pothead, i burst into tears when i realize i have nothing. this happened to me today. i took 8 sleeping pills and a bottle of wine just to calm myself down. i'm numb now.. and i know that when i have my stuff tomorrow, cause yeah i immediately texed my boyfriend asking him to get me more hash, i won't stop until i'm completely stupid from it. i know i have to stop, i know i don't want to. i know i'm sick. i know i need help. i just don't know if i want to give this up.

best of luck to you and all in my situation. i hope to one day have the strength to change this.

loci

yo soz i found this link on google lol an followed it did not even realise it was five years old ma councillor is tryin to get me to go to an NA meeting in my local area but i goota say i am scared to go just becasue of people general ignorance to the recovery of a pot head. just coz they take class A's does not mean that my recovery is any easier for me as a person grr sowi lil grump there but i tht is y i am scared the fort of bein in a room were pepole are goin to glare me out just coz of my problem scares me anywho let me know wot you gguys think ctach ya in a bit

Done_With_It

Hey Tyler,

I hope you do find what your looking for, I know it must get tired hearing over and over a drug is a drug when that's not what you are asking for.
I'll keep an eye out and let you know if I see any support groups for that,
actually now that I say that, I may know of one just for that. I'll go check right now.
I do, I'll pm you the info. It's ONLY for Marijuana. It's based on the 12 steps I believe.

Ten Chips Down

Hi Loci!

I assure you an NA meeting is nothing to be afraid of. People won't judge you and they're not professionals. They're all there equally together, and for each other. It's a peer-to-peer kind of group, just like you see on here. If you're shy or self-conscious in a group, trust me you'll get comfortable real quick. Also, you never have to speak or share. If somebody calls on you, you can just say your first name and say, "I'm just here to listen."

That's it! Go. Try one. It might be a new beginning for you!!

Ten

Stan50

I used to be a pothead. I smoked a lot of weed, but not as much as I've heard some of you have, or currently do. This was my situation. Maybe some of you can relate.

It all started out smoking a bowl or two on the weekends with friends. During the week, I never really had a desire to do it. It was a social thing. Something that I would only do with friends. I smoked it in this manner for about two years. No big deal.

Two years later, I was in college at a tech school and a lab partner was a pothead, and very open about it. Actually proud of it. This guy ended up being my first dealer. He didn't even hesitate when I asked him to hook me up the first time. He didn't even make any money off the sale. He consistantly sold me high grade stuff for a really cheap price. He wasn't dealing to me to make money. He was just dealing to "share the hobby" if you will.

The day I bought that first personal bag of weed I started smoking it every day. Now don't get me wrong. It wasn't like I was smoking it ALL day, every day. I got up in the morning, went to work, went to school, ate healthy, I frequented the gym. But at night, after all that was over, it was always time to spark a bowl.

At this time, I was 20 years old, and still lived with my parents. My parents didn't allow smoking of any substance in their house, so I used to go out for a drive and smoke. Sometimes with friends, but most of the time by myself. I relize now, that this was a very stupid thing to do. But at the time it didnt seem like a big deal at all. I must've done it hundreds of nights, and I never once was in an accident, I was never pulled over, so my driving while stoned didn't seem wrong to me back then.

When I was 21, I moved out of my parents house into a rented house with a couple friends. At this point in time, I didn't make much money, so I vowed to cut back on the pot usage simply because I knew I didn't have the money to support the habit, now that I had a rent payment and a few utility bills.

I had $2000 in a savings accout that I had put aside just in case a circumstance arose where I wouldn't be able to pay my rent or house utilities, since my roommates were depending on me for this. But quitting smoking pot seemed way too hard, so I continued to do it on a daily basis, and I ended up blowing through every cent of that $2000 in about a year. I kept on telling myself, "oh, I'll just dip into that account one more time for this" Before I knew it, it was gone.

By this time, I had an arsonal of dealers. Every dealer that I bought from was a friend of mine. I never would buy weed from anybody I didn't know. I was very careful about it, because I didn't want to get anything that was laced. And I never once did.

Over this peroid of 3 1/2 years, I had established myself as a pothead. All my friends knew me that way, and a lot of my aquantences, and co workers knew me as that too. And just like my first dealer, I was proud of it. I had no regrets. I didn't see anything wrong with it. I just embraced it. I even sold it to people a couple times. But I never considered myself a dealer.

Now, I never planned on smoking weed forever. I always told myself that I would stop if I ended up with a girlfriend that I loved, that wanted me too, or if I had a kid. I don't think marijuana should be around any young child under any circumstances.

I was 22 years old, and working as an auto mechanic at a car dealership. I was very good at my job. I had the third highest seniority in the maintenence division of the company, and I had personal customers (people that would specifically request that I work on their vehicle), and was very well respected in my profession.

Then the unthinkable happened. I was fired. I was terminated because of a mistake that I had made. Not a mistake made due to my drug use, but a mistake simply due to one case of extremely bad judgement, which ended up costing the company $1200.

I found myself unemployed. I went around to all the dealerships in the metro area looking for another job. This was very post 9/11 and the economy was really in the *******. Nobody in the automotive business was hiring.

So I decided to take another route. I am a mechanic by trade, so I decided to apply as a bus mechanic at the local city bus company here. But there was one serious problem. The bus company does pre employment drug testing, and then random drug testing after hiring.

I was really desperate for a job, and I knew what I needed to do. I had to quit smoking weed. It was either quit, or lay around the house worrying about my financial situation.

So I did. It wasn't easy. I remember days in the peak of my usage where the thought of going one night without weed would literally scare the hell out of me. If my bag was running low, and my dealers were dry, I would almost freak out. There were times where I would be scraping the resin out of my pipes, and smoking that, to get a buzz.

But I had to quit. The first night was horrible. I didn't know what to do with myself. I was so used to getting stoned on my couch, and zoning out. I found myself sitting on my couch completley bored, with nothing to do except surf the internet, which gets old, or watching movies, which wasn't as much fun sober.

But here's the thing. I fell into a depression for about three days after quitting. Those first three days were really hard. REALLY hard. But after those three days, the desire to smoke weed went away slowly. After about a week, I didn't even think about it much. Until I was around a group of friends at a party that were sparking a bowl.

I wanted to particiapate so bad. But I knew that I had to pass a drug test, to be employed in a couple weeks, so I basically left the room. I thought I was going nuts. I wanted to get high so bad, and at the same time I was jealous that a bunch of my friends were getting high without me. I mean, that was my territory. I was one of the big pot heads of the group that for the first time wasn't smoking pot with them.

For the first couple months after I stopped I could not be around other people doing it. It just drove me nuts. The temptation was just too much. So I ended up distancing myself from those people, or just leaving the room when they were doing it.

I ended up passing the drug test, and I got the job. I love this job. I have been at this job for a little over three years now, and I can tell you that I would pass a drug test right now without blinking an eye.

But I have dabbled in the pot since I was hired there. But I was smart about it. I only got high when I had an extended weekend or a vacation, where I knew that when I went back to work, I'd be clean, just in case I was randomly tested.

But there was one difference with getting high those times. I DIDN'T enjoy it. I have found that if your not smoking pot on a consistant basis, it makes you parinoid. I would constantly worry about stuff. Not only would I be worried about failing a drug test, but I would worry about stuff that normally wouldn't bother me when I was getting high all the time. I would worry about a cop coming to my door (for no reason), I would worry about dying (for no reason), I would worry about any number of things that I would not otherwise worry about. My mind would just race and it would drive me nuts. I would find myself slamming down beers to try to override or balence me out.

I have completely quit smoking pot now. I can't even remember the last time I smoked. Most of my friends have stopped also, but some of them still smoke. And today, I can be around them while they are smoking pot, and I don't even have a desire to do it anymore. It holds no appeal to me now.

Marijuana isn't physically addictive like herion, or cocaine. But it is mentally addictive. And the mental addiction can be very hard to overcome. But all it takes is a serious desire to quit. I mean, I had that serious desire through circumstance, and I went through the despression that comes with the withdrawal, but trust me, with time it gets easier and easier, and pretty soon, you won't want anything to do with it.

Well, thats my story. Comments welcome.

Ten Chips Down

Stan, that was excellent pacing. Your writing is solid. I pass up many winded postings two-thirds this length almost out of habit, now. Just don't have the time. But yours was very easy, interesting, and so pleasurable to read. Have you ever considered writing of some sort as a trade. lol

I wouldn't ask if weren't serious!

Ok, ok. To the ESH then: I never smoked (anything, hah), but I can tell you that was so well relayed that any addict almost can't help but relate to it.

Fascinating, how you found pot to induce paranoia if you didn't smoke a regular basis. See I have a friend I've known for 30 years now. Stories like yours REALLY help me to understand just a little about what he must be up against. He's about ohhh, a year and a half younger than I am and the poor guy, he's a prisoner to it.

As he smokes both cigarettes and pot, like most if not all pot-smokers, he has really turned a number on his lungs and now coughs up some alarming black sputum. And he has "smoker's cough" too. It's a hacking, wretched cough.

Anyway, he's like 41, 42 and I was wondering how many 19 year-olds (hey, let alone 11 & 12 year-olds!) can think that far ahead, ya know??

If they could, and if they would listen to people who have gone before them... Ah, but that's the same mantra of every new generation I guess. *shrug*

Thanks for sharing man you RAWK.
Ten

waldo

I liked the paranoid part when you haven't used in a while, and slamming beers to balance it out. 100% true.

Also, and there are going to be a lot of people to relate to this, maybe, I remember when I was 17. I was racing amateur motocross at the time, and had a red Ford 67 van, with crgar super sport wheels, shag carpet, paneled, removable bedroom in the back, so the bikes could get in and out on race day, a secret compartment to stash the beer and pot when we got pulled over, (worked both times!), and a pretty young girl riding with me or in the back with me and Eddie, Pup, or Steve were driving, (don't worry I'll tie this all up in a minute), and feeling the beauty, energy, contentment, and unparalled endless future and hope while smoking pot and drinking beer. i can still see the white shag on the dash, and the 8 trck kites glowing while listening to Dark Side of the Moon.

My theory. As we get older, we chase tht memory. We do it with our old buddies, pot, alcohol, pain pills, and whatever. but, you know what? It never, ever, will come back. It is gone.

Does anyone relate to this at all?

Thanks again Stan. Good story.

Waldo

loci

yo stan 50 i can totally relate to what you are saying i am a recovering pothead my self and i know it feels to leave it behind especially as it took over your life like it did mine i cant post what i want to right now but i will congrats on tht post btw musta took some effort to do tht

Buzz Kilowatt

Waldo,

I remember having fun the first few times I smoked pot, and after that, almost never. I don't have fond memories of it and it's nothing I miss.

I would like to know why the first time or two smoking pot is a different experience for most people than smoking it again and again. Does the brain get permanently "rewired"?

I'm 50, been faithfully married to the same fine lady for 17 years. I'll tell you what I am wistful about . . . things like kissing a foxy little lass when I was 12 at a summer camp dance; the crushes I had in Jr. High & High school; certain amorous moments after that. But I don't "chase" them for obvious reasons! And yup, these things are gone for good . . . I'm far too jaded now!

I guess to some degree both things (pot & romance) are about brain chemistry. But that doesn't explain all . . .

;-)

Buzz

waldo

Jaded is the Word.

Waldo

Stan50

Well thank you. I have been told before that my writing is very good. But the truth is, I don't put a whole lot of effort into it. I basically just write the way I talk. I have the ability to type very quickly, so I kind of just get my mind going, and let it all spew out, as if I was telling the story verbally. So yeah, thanks again. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

loci

lol you talk really well i sed i would repost a message and i shall i too felt the sting of wee take over my life and to this day it does because of tht harmless lil plant i have nothing all because i one day thought it would be a good idea to smoke a glorified ciggy. but i am glad 2 say tht it has now been 4months without and i have vast improvements since. i no attend college no bunkin. i hav a relationship with ma familia.
onli thing lieft i believe is meetin new people makin friends an if am lucky an i quote "find a foxy lady to spend 17 years with...

SaTiT

I was a pot head throughtout my teens. I didn't hide it either.
Was kind if prode of it. Never got in trouble for it.
back in the days....the cops just took it away from us and told us to leave.
I would sit in front of my algebra class eyes bloodshot and get an A+
My teacher didn't truned me in becuase i was mellow and wasn't
acting out like the other kids with ADD.lol

Yeah...Thats weird
I can still remember my first high. I saw bugs bunni everywhere.lol
I can't remember a lot of my highs after that. Even as my disease
progress into meth. i don't remember too much of what I did.

The only thing that stop me was , I join the USAF, even so i was
still getting high every so often knowing that if i got caught i would
be in big doo doo. i substitute heavily into alcohol becuase it was legal

I stop using pot becuase meth was introduce to me through a co-worker. or weed was no longer my drug of chioce.

it got to the piont to where i had a to manage my work and play.
Then i started mixing everything trying to manage my highs.
Get high so i can work then party and drink all night.
By getting so damn drunk , I'd do more meth.
But i would be so wired, so I'd smoke weed,
But by the time i got my buzz in balance , it was almost time to
go to work...so i do more meth so i can work
at the end of the work day....it was happi hour....and on and on.

Sleep ? what...you don't need sleep when your young wild and crazy.

i never thought I would use heavier drugs either.